Writing Exercise: POV and Scene

Bar Code People Stock Photo

Image Courtesy of Vlado at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

POV & Scene

WRITING EXERCISE: Write of scene of two people; by the end of the scene the following features should be defined: (1) gender, (2) age, (3) cultural status and/or educational status. 200 words or less (with two people, a few extra words might be needed).

Switch it up now. Write the scene again, but switch the people in the roles. Keep the same person’s POV.

Example of combinations: Older doctor with young intern – becomes young doctor with older intern (maybe on second career); Male boss with female secretary.


Rating: Mature (Language)

Dixon and the Distracted Mother (Version 1)

“Joshua, please just sit still a moment.” The mother hissed at her child as she juggled her purse, a diaper bag, and the loaded the last of her cart’s items onto the conveyor belt. She smiled weakly at the people behind her as she dug out her wallet from the bottom of the pile, and finally focused on the cashier who monotonously been pushing items through the scanner to the steady sound of the beep.

Dixon, numb from three college finals that week, couldn’t manage a smile back after watching the woman yell at her kid throughout the line, when she wasn’t on the phone. Once more the senior debated his choice of becoming a teacher. If parents weren’t involved with the children before school, what was the point? “Your total is $127.32.”

“Oh, wait. I got coupons.” The woman said as she pulled a fistful out of her purse, dropping her wallet in the process. “Fuck!”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” echoed the child. (words 163)


Dixon and the Distracted Mother (Version 2)

Three cans of ground coffee, one pack of white coffee filters, a couple new memory cards, several six-packs of highly caffeinated soda, and a bag of chips hit the conveyor belt, while Dixon swayed from exhaustion. Three finals down and two to go and he would be done with college. The monotonous beeps hypnotized him until the cashier said, “Your total is $42.60.”

He blinked a few times focusing on the middle-aged woman across from him. “Oh, wait. I got coupons.” He started digging through his pockets, first the jacket, then the jeans, finally finding the papers in the shirt pocket. He smiled at the people behind him in apology before turning back to the cashier who had been glancing at a phone placed next to the register, biting her lip. “Problem?” he asked, not really expecting an answer.

“Just not sure I am going to be able to pick up my kid from daycare before closing time. They charge extra if you are late.” She said, scanning the coupons.

“Getting off soon then?”

The cashier shook her head. “Two people didn’t show today, and I am the one low on hours.”

Opening his wallet to get out his credit card, the worn, overextended stitches broke from the cracked leather, dropping half of his life onto the floor. “Fuck,” Dixon said weakly before bending down. (words 225)