Flash: Harm’s Highway

Photo by Daniele D’Andreti on Unsplash

Douglas Yu edged over to the ward’s entry desk as maternity took the active labor handoff from the emergency room team the technician had run from ambulance to the second floor. Marigold Miles, the receptionist administrator, asked in sympathy as the sweaty medical professional leaned against the desk. “Diameter?”

“Arrived at ten and baby’s a breech. Jeff had his arm all the way up her hoo-hah trying to rotate the kid when they arrived.”

Marigold shuddered. “Responders are a different animal.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” After a couple more minutes of catching his breath, grateful he didn’t have to add another birth notches on his ER belt, Douglas looked over at Marigold monitoring her station’s equipment. “Speaking of different animals, do you know what happened with that Jane Smith trying to Surrender her kid while still pregnant?”

“Oh, did she come in on your watch?”

“Checked her in myself.”

Marigold smiled, always loving to share gossip. Maternity had the best morsels. “We got everyone involved from admin to lawyers. You know how they hated the revenue loss of IVF; well, since ‘nothing is illegal the first time’ as Jimmy in legal says, this was the perfect test case. The Doc-on-duty consulted with Psych to sign off on the woman being a danger to herself and her baby if she remained pregnant, so we induced while getting social services on the horn. Baby boy Smith got his blue blanket while mommy signed over all her rights and named his dad. I think it was the first time ever we had a birth certificate with “unknown” under the mom.”

“Jesus.”

“Right, so social got police, since the boyfriend had locked her out of the mutual apartment in the rain at night, endangering the baby, and they went over to her place to get her stuff out, including her purse and they found where he had cut her ID into bits. With her phone, she called her friend and they skedaddled. The police then went to his place of business to let him know about the baby, and that is when we get the next part of the story.” Marigold wiggled her eyebrows.

“It gets better?”

“It gets better.” The admin glanced at her monitors, then leaned on the lower desk to get closer. “He came here, since social needed him to take the baby. After all he is the only name on the birth certificate. First he claims it wasn’t his, but, damn, that kid had his face. It had nearly twenty-four hours to get over being smooshed out the canal. We offered to do a DNA, so he says he didn’t want the kid, just the girl. He says he wouldn’t have poked holes in the condoms if he known he was going to get stuck with a screaming baby by himself.”

“He what?”

“Yeah, forced pregnancy. Basically like being raped for nine months. Your attacker is always with you. Fucking mental. Anyway, he signed away his rights then ran out of here saying he was going to get the bitch for leaving him. Social says he figured out which friend was helping out Jane and banged on her door until 9-1-1 got him out of the building. They had kept in touch to let her know if he claimed the kid or not. Seems like Jane didn’t want daddy to have the kid, but saw no way around it. Said it wouldn’t be fair for her to have the kid when every time she looked it in the face for the rest of her life and think how much she hated its father and what happened to her. She was scared for Baby Smith, but she could only save herself.”

“Did she get out?”

“Last news was restraining order and a friend network to get her out-of-state.”

“And the kid.”

“Momma Jane had taken care of herself, no drugs. She was a good kid, just in a bad situation. I think if she felt even some control over her life and her body, she could have kept Baby Boy, but…”

“Yeah.”

“Well, white newborns, all signed over to the state get snatched up easy. Social says he is with a foster-adoption couple and his two dads adore him.”

“All’s well, that end’s well?”

“Hon, you just showed your male privilege, but that is okay. Jane had to jump states, has no job history she dare access, no home, one suitcase, and is cut off from half her friends or more. She just gave birth and has no medical insurance, and a part of her will always remember she had to give up her baby because of a toxic man. Baby boy will grow up wondering why his momma didn’t love him, and that poison man is out there, lying his ass off, and likely will pull this shit on another woman.”

Yu sighed. “You’re right. Well, at least things have a chance of getting better.”

“We got a long way to go for that to happen. Legal is pissed that no one flagged situation so they can duke it out in court and maybe start nibbling at getting our IVF money maker back.” Marigold rotated back to her screens. “Don’t forget to vote next Tuesday.”

“You too.”

“Already sent it in, I got back-to-back shifts scheduled.”

“See you next birth.”

“You too.”

(words 892; first published 10/13/2024)

Safe Surrender Duology

  1. Safe Surrender (10/6/2024)
  2. Harm’s Highway (10/13/2024)

Editing Rant: For the Win (Genre Expectations)

Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash

As I mentioned in February, “Romance is Fantasy”, one of the hardest things about editing is understanding underlying tropes/messages contained in your genre. I recently had an epiphany on how American Horror genre works while reviewing a Russian/Slavic style story.

First let me explain how Russian/Slavic stories work. While American stories are all about conquering, winning, being the best, happily ever after, Slavic stories vibrate with survival, perseverance. Endings are rarely happy – Winter is always coming and one day winter will win. A Slavic vibe acknowledges the System is hard to change. Nature eventually wins. Determination and perseverance is what is to be admired, not the actual Winning. Because everything that wins will eventually lose. Trying is what matters. And sometimes we need to hear that. Not everyone can be the best. Not every monster can be defeated. Not ever win is completely clean. The power is in the Trying.

Ivanova on Babylon Five captures the Russian feeling perfectly with “No Boom today, boom tomorrow, there is always a boom tomorrow.” It’s not depression, but an acceptance that eventually everything ends.

But inevitability of losing sets the American teeth on edge, even in the Horror format. In this culture, stories must have a happy ending. A WIN. But how does that work in American Horror? Well, at the end of every horror, book or movie, even when the creator hints at the monster not being fully defeated and will be coming back, we celebrate the Win of today. We get our Winning and Happy Ending. Everyone has the Chance to be President – the Best and Most Powerful. Sparkles and Unicorns.

Now here is where things get interesting. How American Horror finally clicked in my head.

Central to this Win of today at the end of an American Horror is a mirror-flip saying the Monster has a chance to Win someday too. It can and will come back.

Everything has a chance to pull itself to the Top by its bootstraps, even the monsters.

They can be the best they can be, this temporary setback isn’t the end.

I think this difference is why in American Horror the monsters are usually individuals with faces (or masks). Counterpoint, in the Slavic literature (horror and otherwise), monsters are systems and nature – faceless hordes and forces no individual can overcome, but together the group may persevere through the sacrifice of individuals for a while.

I’m a bit bubbly realizing how American Horror works. Happy for the Monsters. They too can do it. They can win, if they just keep trying. Good for them!

Flash: Safe Surrender

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Maturity Tag: Language

Black rain sparkled against the pavement outside the hospital’s emergency room as the automatic doors softly opened and closed, letting in another needy soul seeking care and compassion. The admittance admin glanced over as she worked on assigning the emergency in front of her their place in triage, a few stitches likely would be enough but a fully certified medical professional would need to make the final call. The woman at the door turned sideways, her profile against bright lights immediately jumped her to the front of the line. Pregnancy won most triage sorting battles.

One of the ER staff rushed forward, skipping the normal administrative procedures.

“Hello. My name is Douglas Yu, I am an ER technician. Are you okay dear?” he asked, “Any bleeding or contractions?”

“No,” she said rubbing her belly, a frown etched between her eyes, “I just want it out. I can leave the baby here, right?”

“What, um, is this an emergency? Is something happening?”

“No, no. I am just done with this. I waited seven months, it should be viable, just get it out and I can leave.”

The medical professional blinked. “Ma’am, we don’t just do that.”

“Sure you do, you induce all the time.” The woman pushed her wet hair back, her voice raising. “Just give me the shots, get this fucking kid out, and let me get on with my life.”

“Ma’am while you can leave a baby at the hospital if you are unable to take care of it, your child has to be born first. It has to BE a baby.”

“Look, they said it was a baby as soon as conception, it’s conceived. They said I can’t get an abortion. I’m not asking for an abortion. I waited seven fucking months. I did the time. It can live on its own. GET.IT.OUT.”

The tech waved off the police officer walking towards them from his normal station near the door. “Ma’am, ma’am. Let’s come over here and get you signed in.”

“I don’t want a pysch eval, I’m fine.” She eyed him as they walked over. “I am just done with this bullshit of not allowed to even leave the state because I got knocked up because they cut off my damn birth control. Get this thing out.”

“Can I have your license?” the technician fired up his computer station.

“Nope, John took it because he thought I would hop states on him. The bastard isn’t wrong. As soon as it’s legal, I’m gone. I got a new one ordered and it should arrive next week at a friend’s house so this shit doesn’t happen again.”

“Insurance card maybe?”

“Do you SEE a purse? I fucking walked here because the bastard is out with friends getting drunk tonight.” She sat down in a wheelchair a gray-haired hospital volunteer brought over. “Just call me Jane Smith, no insurance because I got fired for being fucking pregnant, though the boss didn’t word it that way. I was taking too much time throwing up in the bathroom.”

“Sounds like a bad situation ma’am. I am sorry you have had to live with it. Do you have a primary caregiver?”

“Nope, no insurance.” The woman naming herself as Jane crossed her arms, then took a deep breath, one of her hands moving up to grip her shoulder. “Please, I just want this nightmare to end.”

“I’m going to transfer you to OBGYN area. They might have a solution for you.”

“I told you the solution. They said it’s a baby even in a petri dish, they said if you can’t take of a baby to drop it off, they said it can’t be by abortion, so here I am, get it out and let me escape.”

The tech locked his screen after it beeped the second floor nursing staff could accept a non-emergency patient. Pulling a bracelet off the printer, he wrapped it around the woman’s wrist. “Mr. Shepherd here will take you to them. Good luck.”

(words 665; first published 10/6/2024)

Safe Surrender Duology

  1. Safe Surrender (10/6/2024)
  2. Harm’s Highway (10/13/2024)

Magical Words: Therefore

Photo by Ian Taylor on Unsplash

What path does a book follow? Is it one step after another, haphazardly finding its way to an conclusion, or is it driven down the inevitable street until it reaches the only ending possible?

Carrie Ryan write about plotting using “therefore” and “but” rather than “and then” in her Magical Words post from August 22, 2012, “Therefore”. The post gives a method to plot more strongly.

If you line up every scene or plot beat in your book, and the only words that connect them are “and then,” you have a problem; instead, each scene needs to be connected with either “therefore” or “but.”

Put simply, your book should go something like: “A therefore B therefore C but D therefore E but F.”  Rather than “A and then B and then C and then D…”

It sounds easy, but the point is to make things flow because they connect. The difference between all the cars on a road going the same direction, and a train with interconnected carts. If you disconnect a train, things fall apart. On the road, a car could take an exit and you might never notice it is now missing from the story.

Boy meets girl. (and then) Girl flirts with boy. (and then) Boy and girl argue. (and then) Boy and girl make up.

We all have read this story. But how about…

Boy meet girl. But girl flirts with best friend. Therefore boy and best friend argue. But girl doesn’t want to come between them and leave. Therefore the males must talk things out. Meanwhile, girl runs into trouble outside and screams. Therefore both males run outside to rescue her.  …

Now every scene escalates. The energy moves.

Ms. Ryan does mention

“Yeah, but I could just as easily replace each ‘therefore’ and ‘but’ with “and then,’” and you’d be right.  But that’s not the issue — the problem comes when you can’t replace an “and then” with a “therefore” or “but.”

Be aware of the connections of your plots, whether at the outlining, first draft, or editing stage. Make sure that every scene and plot beat, when you move from one car to the next is a “therefore/but” and not “and then” – you want a train car, not an automobile.

Again the URL is: http://www.magicalwords.net/really-i-mean-it/therefore/ (The post may not be there. It looks like they finally took the website down.)