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Editing Rant: Unwavering Support Trope
Photo by Jocelyn Allen on Unsplash
Within military science fiction and military romance and military fantasy, and well everywhere, is the trope of a woman standing by her man with great understanding. She knows he has “Gone Through It” (Trademark) and quietly supports him through everything – whether him blowing up in anger or never expressing his softer feelings because of his trauma.
He never has to apologize.
She is a saint for this.
And yet … and yet. If the Understanding Woman makes a mistake or the Damaged Man misinterprets something, she must apologize and go through the obstacle course he puts in her way.
He never has to understand her, because she understands him. She gives everything.
I would like to see this trope start working its way out of our collective consciousness. It isn’t that those who stand between us and darkness shouldn’t get special treatment, but that the special treatment should be in the way of therapy, not the privilege of damaging their loved ones.
Special treatment should be in the way of therapy, not the privilege of damaging their loved ones.
Especially if the author is writing science fiction where the dream of amazing therapy is available.
It is time to do away with the martyrs on both sides of the damage. Adults need to apologize and work toward their healing, whether the Damaged Warrior or the Understanding Loving One.
No one should accept anger without an active change in behavior to prevent future woundings of the relationship. If you love someone, remember to say it, show it, share it, not just take it.
While not a toxic trope as yet, without changing with the times, the Unwavering Support is damaging both to those wounded and those supporting the walking wounded. One of the places we, as writers and editors, can help society is changing the dynamic of this trope by including in the Unwavering Support driving to therapy, supporting roleplay to relearn emotional skills, and setting up clear borders to develop a healthy relationship.
Book Review: Strange Fruit
Amazon Cover
Strange Fruit, Volume I: Uncelebrated Narratives from Black History by Joel Christian Gill
BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON
Strange Fruit Volume I is a collection of stories from early African American history that represent the oddity of success in the face of great adversity. Each of the nine illustrated chapters chronicles an uncelebrated African American hero or event. From the adventures of lawman Bass Reeves, to Henry “Box” Brown’s daring escape from slavery.
MY REVIEW
Strange Fruit was a poem written by Abel Meeropol and sung by Billie Holiday. One of the cultural memories of Black American History which white America lacks but needs to become aware of.
Ever read a comic book with a bibliography? Strange Fruits is a graphic novel by Joel Christian Gill about nine tales of black folks (researched and pulled from obscurity). Some of them are traditional hero winning the day, but others like Theophilus Thomas, chess master, ends with questions or heartbreak.
White America cuts tales short so winning leaves a high, a success, an accomplishment – no need to seek further justice as the winning was won. Black tales witness the temporary achievements, but leave no doubt that the system hasn’t been completely fixed. The war isn’t over, and may never be over. Battles need to be fought every generation.
Mr. Gill starts with “Henry ‘Box’ Brown” – an upbeat traditional tale, followed by a glimpse of people overcoming with “Harry ‘Bucky’ Lew” and Richard Potter’s Greatest Illusion. The tales then twist and turn, like your gut when faced with the triumph and question of “Theophilus Thompson” and the complete destructive heartbreak of “The Shame” and “The Noyes Academy.” The creator of the graphic novels returns to the triumphs and questions with Marshall Taylor and Spottswood Rice. And finally Bass Reeves, another hero traditional tale, but ends with giving a hint of appropriation. – It’s not enough to outlaw reading and writing, and destroying communities and education systems, Jim Crow and his ilk need to take the few stories saved and make them their own. It’s time to claim the tales back.
A great series of stories shaped together into a single, satisfying narrative.
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Meme I made – share at will
Carlsbad Caverns
Back in May, I took a road trip with my mom so she could visit family members. Since she is unable to sit for long periods of time, we broke up some of the longer legs of the drive with visits to museums. I previously covered the TTU Museum in my blog with its quilt, watercolor, and borderland art exhibits. We also swung by the Roswell International Museum, which is mostly a reading experience. Taking pictures of large chunks of texts only works if you are going to turn some of them into stories (yes, I took some photos there too).
To break up the ten-hour trip back (before stops to eat are counted), we took a small side trip to Carlsbad Caverns since it was at the half-way point. (Well, more like 40-60, but better than a full drive in one day, which mom cannot do anymore.) She stayed above ground, visited the exhibit in the air-conditioned visitor center for the park, and watched a movie about the caves. I went below ground.
And I decided to do it the hard way. Yes, they have an elevator for the 750 foot descent and return. But I felt the need to “earn” the right to see the beautiful caves, despite having an arthritic hip. I came prepared with a cane, camera, and jacket (the caves hover at about 52 degrees F). During the ranger indoctrination of the “NO TOUCHIE!!!” speech (things that takes tens of thousands of years to form cannot handle tens of thousands of people touching them every year), the speaker directed the “please don’t go down the 20 degree, over a mile long path, with switchbacks and uneven footing if you have ANY walking issues” to me, sitting on the bench in the instruction area, and the man beside me with a prothesis for a leg. I don’t know if he did the walk or decided the elevator route; the 20 degree incline could be an issue. I hope he did what he needed to do to best enjoy the caves.
The first three pictures describe the descent, shows the opening of the cave system, and the holes just inside the cave opening where the cave sparrows live. The opening walk is covered in bird droppings (as opposed to bat droppings out of at the bat cave entrance).
Seven hundred and fifty feet down is a killer on the calves. My legs were shaking after 0.4 miles – only 0.85 miles to go!!! (And then another 1.25 miles for the Big Cave on “level” “ground”.) Most of the descent is ramps; there is one area of steps. The slippery areas where the water is still dripping and forming stalagmites on the floor, also made gripping the handrails harder. And because of the constant switchbacks, the handrails alternated sides, making using the cane challenging as I constantly changed the hand gripping the cane and the hand on the rail.
It’s impossible to appreciate just how VAST the caverns are and how big the formations. The first formation in the above picture is larger than my house. Thirty or forty feet high and nearly as wide. Created one drip at a time. The second picture is of soda straws and other stalactites structures. Depending on how much minerals there are and how fast the drip dries, the cave formations vary between smooth to popcorn-texture like that captured in the third above photo. 
There is one scenic-overlook that lets one view nearly half a mile of the Big Room in one shot.
The mountain is hollow, your brain thinks. How can something so infinite be empty and full at the same time. Again there is no way to capture the feeling or the features of the cave. The dim light challenged my camera. These few pictures are the best ones I took and the one on the right here is from my camera-phone, which I took so I could do a quick post on Facebook when I came out of the cave.
Well, that is it for the cave pictures, but I also got a good group of pictures of desert flowers and planets. Spring time in New Mexico is beautiful both under and above ground. I found the Ocotillo especially colorful.
The desert was so green and alive with dozens of different plants.
Finally, the architecture of the park administrative buildings fit in well with the landscape and made me want to grab paints. I am not a landscape painter, but for Carlsbad National Park, I might become so.
Museum Visits