Flash: Dragonfly

Image from Ashish Khanna of Unsplash

“The polymorph worked! Holy Sheet!” The thief danced around waving a wand he just used for the first time, but not saying the activation word again.

The slightly charred fighter and cleric leaned against each other, eyeing the dragonfly as it buzzed around the churned grass, mud, and baked broken ground on the meadow. “I can’t believe it, thank Mercury for his luck,” whispers the cleric.

“Amen.” The fighter responded, not sure if the luck was a gift from the gods or a comment about Lorelless’ insane ability to walk out of any situation smelling like roses.

The artificer lowered her umbrella shield slowly, drawing it back into a walking stick. “How? How did that even work? I mean the mass conversion on that should have resulted in an explosion.”

Lorelless grabbed her face, “Shh, Jasmine, stop overthinking it. Just live in the moment and be happy.” He kissed her, because why not take advantage of her distraction, it could be days before she let him get within pickpocketing distance again. Not that he would ever pickpocket her, the crap in her pockets were a variety of sharp tools, some capable of slitting fingers in half. If Alister hadn’t treated that instance as a learning opportunity, Lorelless would have eleven fingers instead of just ten. He still owed Mercury some coin for that healing.

“Bah, why do you do that?” She pushed him away.

“Because he like you, Jasmine,” the fighter, the oldest of their group shook his head. Unless it had gears and whistles, Jasmine had no clue. He didn’t think that she was actually opposed to Lorelless’ pursuit, she just didn’t understand it.

“I like him too, but that is all germy and,” she rubs her chest with her gloved hand, “weird feeling.”

The dragonfly, after closing the distance from where it had been transformed, annoyed that it took so long to travel a distance she used to be able to transverse in a single leap, landed on the hateful wand.

Like her intelligence and sense of being, the mass of the dragon had not, in fact, been removed by the polymorph.

(words 354; first published 5/26/2024; created 11/19/2023)

Lorelless & Jasmine Series

  1. Dragonfly (5/26/2024)
  2. Even when the trees are apart (6/23/2024)

Editing Rant: H is for Humor Gone Wrong

Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

Editing Rant for a DNF book review

***

Ugh. Made it made it 4% into the book before giving up. (Famous science fiction author) may write good books, but this is not one of them. The title character is a whiner and the narrating (POV) character is a complainer and manipulator. I *think* the story is meant as a parody and to be humorous, but it is either slap-stick humor or … I don’t know what.

Gave up at “there are possibilities for the future. Perhaps even a new school!” … says a martial artist after his spine has been crushed. The humorous(?) statement is about developing a new school of fighting for paraplegics. … ha, ha?? Isn’t that a funny one-off joke? … why aren’t you laughing, reader?

By the time I embraced the concept of this book NEEDED to be a “do NOT finish” (and remember this is only 4% into the eBook), the VARIOUS slapstick-styled fights included permanently crippling a legbreaker (mentioned above), tearing the face off a law enforcement officer, removing an arm from one man and then beating four other people unconscious with it, and driving a mage insane. Nothing bloody or graphic; again these are slapstick fights. All the while during them the title character was whining about philosophy and the POV character was trying to get him to shut up by belittling him or bemoaning the fact of having to listen to said philosophy by breaking the fourth wall between the narrator and the reader.

So funny, not.

***

I know for some, the age of “political correctness” has gone too far. But remember, the best humor punches up, not down.

(Okay, I admit the tearing off an arm and beating other people with it COULD have been funny. I’ve seen similar things done in the humor-fantasy genre where I laughed hard, especially with zombies. And often it is with blood and all the graphic juices flying everywhere. This, though, was not one of those times where funny took off its shirt, let alone had a digit go flying and landing in a drink to give a person the finger for the hero(ine).)

(Did I see a smile there from the image of a zombie finger doing inappropriate things? See, how hard was that? Why couldn’t famous author pull it off? Not the finger, never pull a finger, that is a different gag.)

Don’t do bad humor.

G is for Good

I know for A-to-Z, the concentration is on blogging, but I also do a (nearly) daily vlog over on TikTok. Mostly it is book quotes, but sometimes the viral sounds are just too delicious to pass up. The books presented are: The Enchanted Rose by Emily Leverett (a historical romance series with paranormal elements) and The Royal Nothings by Drew Bailey (an apocalyptic horror fantasy).

Answer this question in the comments – what would you consider a Good way to mark a book you are reading and what would be an Evil way?