Tag: Humor

BuddyRead Transcript: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 7: This Inevitable Ruin

Erin Penn Leave a comment

Amazon Cover

Comments I wrote during a buddy read of THIS INEVITABLE RUIN

Page 12 – And I thought Carl’s Doomsday Scenario, stored in his inventory, was a big, bad boom. These idiots went and made CARL!!! the bomb. (He was always “the bomb”, but now, for real, for real.)

Page 24 – Crawler count 32,429 … down from 8 billion people. The countdown toward extinction continues.

Page 106 – The All-Tree roots connecting to everything. Could be useful…what can Carl do with that?

Page 189 – One of the others on the Buddy Read: “Sooooo tedious. I’m not into war strategies.”

My response: ”I’m trusting Carl to blow something up really, really big by the end.”

Page 210 – “He was real. A real life snuffed away.”
Every time I see something like that, I see red. Like, what is the entire planet of Earth humans (and dolphins and other sentient creatures)????
(And this, boys and girls, is why you never should dehumanize anyone. You can consider them monsters, but they are human monsters. They are always real.)

Page 233 – “Welcome to the party, pals.”
Sooooo, that happened.

Page 318 – “WARLORD CARL: Unleash, Tina!”
Go-go tutu little-big girl. Sparkle the world!

Page 347 – Another person on the Buddy Read: “This may be my least favorite book so far.”

My response: “Yeah, I’m here for the characters more than the strategy…but this level has long been promised, so I just got to get through it.”

Page 400 – A question from the Buddy Read: “What is with the metaphor the AI just used?? Also wtf does he mean he had a family?”

My response: “I think the other AIs from previous crawls can communicate, and that would be his family. As for the metaphor – seems like two people are giving the AI advice, one is Agatha (she is sharing the Residual stuff with him – I don’t know if her ex- is a previous AI, or maybe a full primal?)…and the other? Hmm, who does Agatha hate – would it be the other part of the residual community or something else. Likely something else if the “old boyfriend” and the “other woman” are from the same “community”. I don’t know…yet. Well, we all have our limitations.”

Page 424 – “Warning: Scolopendra Stirs.”
Does it also cook and bake?

Page 495 – “I promised I wouldn’t poke at those outside the original primary zone without a good reason.”
Who did the AI promise? Was it Orren, who wanted to make sure all the previous agreements are still in place. Was it his family, the other AIs? Was it a promise he made himself, to not get hurt by the edges of his programming to keep him in check (everyone has their limitations)?

Page 589 – “DONUT: SAY THE WORD, AND DEATH WILL RAIN IN MY NAME.”

Do you remember this cuteness from Book 2 “Carl’s Doomsday Scenario” (see below)? I thought it was just a delightful joke and a bit overdone by the programmed bad guys. Little did I know Matt’s plan.

“…now this great deceiver, this devourer of all that is holy, has a name. She is Donut the Oak Fell. The Death upon Us All. She Who Ends.”

Page 651 – Action item three: “During the Peeling phase, revert to the rules of the original Faction Wars. Warlords and all soldiers of the defeated team should automatically die if they lose during the peeling phase.”

Wow, isn’t that going to change things a bit. Does anyone else have emergency action items left to revert this? I don’t think so. Can’t remember, but I don’t think so.

Dang…just dang. And with the “die for real” in place on top of the “die in game”, all the outworlders who had been holding back, hoping to survive this by not being in the front lines, are going to go ballistic. And the changelings…could they just replace the people on the crawler team as they die? Not kill them, just replacement. Although, they do tend to be more proactive than that.

This is going to be a blood bath.

Page 695 – I hope whoever Samantha is, her real self is as unhinged as her present one.

Page 718 – From the Buddy Read: Somehow I thought Ferdinand was a chonky boy 😅 I just read he’s skinny? *sigh. remodeling mental image*

My Response: Whatever he is, he is an orange cat.

Page 719 – 120,000 children??? There are less than 32,429 crawlers left (how many started the book). That isn’t a glitch, that is a hostage situation.

Page 744 – Called it, The Oak Fell.

Page 753 – Well that battle scene is vividly gory even by Matt standards. Do I even want to know how he is going to outdo this in book 8?

Page 754- The Lorena B. (abbreviated for spoilers) achievement. LOL.

Page 771 – He still has the bucket of glitter, and I still want a glitter bomb made.
That particular Chekhov’ s gun had better get used at some point. I’m just saying!
P.S. And it will need to involve Tina’s magical wand.

Page 791 – “We all have our limitations.”

Page 810 – “Reward: Toasty Food” – Oh, that is a quest I am going to fulfill. I love me toasty food…starting with s’mores, then grilled cheese, and other sandwiches, savory toasted cheese, …the list goes on.

Page 821 – Crawler Count: 20,221
Wow, that is amazing for the end of 9th level.

Page 823 – He.let.the.ring.go.
HE LET THE RING GO!!!!!!!
I didn’t think he could/would do that. I thought the claw was in too deep.

Page 830 – Suspect everyone.
Oh no, is Jamal a changeling?
No, they can’t do that with a tattoo, can they? Hmm.
On the other hand, imagine some poor changeling assigned to recreate Jamal.

Page 840 – Go Katia, save the children!!!!
The stakes just got raised impossibly high…

Page 845 – FOR YORK (he needed poetry)
Death doesn’t count.
Unnumbered children in orbit
and on the ground.
Death doesn’t count.
Crawlers, all numbered, providing
entertainment televised.
Death doesn’t count.
AIs, gods, CEOs, and pets,
gathered in the black embrace.
Death doesn’t count.
The breath of atoms and
the planets holding life.

Page 859 – (Last page, last paragraph, “normal” section, hardback edition)
Oh. That’s not good. Not good at all.
That is outside the sphere of influence.

Page 870 – (Last page of Backstage at the Pineapple…)
Oh, that is going to get messy too.
(The mimics going a level down.)

Series of Transcripts for Dungeon Crawler Carl

  1. Book Review (SERIES): Dungeon Crawler Carl Books 1-3 (12/16/2025)
  2. BuddyRead Transcript: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 1 (12/17/2025)
  3. BuddyRead Transcript: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 2 (12/19/2025)
  4. BuddyRead Transcript: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 3 (12/20/2025)
  5. Book Review (SERIES): Dungeon Crawler Carl Books 4-6 (2/17/2026)
  6. BuddyRead Transcript: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 4 (2/18/2026)
  7. BuddyRead Transcript: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 5 (2/20/2026)
  8. BuddyRead Transcript: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 6 (2/21/2026)
  9. BuddyRead Transcript: Dungeon Crawler Carl Book 7 (7/25/2026)

Flash: Positive Punishment (Or I don’t think this means what you think it means)

Erin Penn 2 Comments

Photo by Eduardo Soares on Unsplash

“And furthermore, if I get one more customer complaint, you will get a three-day suspension.”

Yada, yada. Maribeth had been nodding along, doing her best to ignore the growing three o’clock cashier lines from all the parents running errands while picking up kids from school which she would get to dive into after her once-every-couple-of-weeks being-bitched-at session with her manager was done. Likely another customer complaint would be happening as she dug out of that line with Latoya and Fernanda.

Next on her agenda of the day is rushing to pick up her five-month-old and four-year-old from daycare since her mom had the flu and couldn’t babysit at the moment after her custodial job. Damn Tim for dumping her the minute she started showing. You think after Seth she would have known better, but one keeps hoping guys actually mean what they say.

Wait, back up.

“A three-day suspension?” Maribeth asked, her voice wobbling.

“Yes. It is a new corporate policy. Three strikes, three-day suspension.” Aaron smirked, pleased to finally get a rise out of her.

O.M.G. The only time she had got three days off in a row since returning to the workforce after a short round of unemployment for the audacity of needing a week to recover from birthing issues with her first kid was the birth of her second kid after her water breaking on the job Monday. The store had scrambled to cover her shifts the final two days before Christmas and had convinced her to come back Friday because Return Day is always crazy.

Punishments had been undesirable hours, which usually worked out well with the hours of her mom’s job, saving them on day care. Forced overtime or double-shifts, with the nice bonuses. Stocking instead of cashier, which allowed her to move around more and even sit a little on the floor. But three-days off in a row?

The things she could accomplish with guaranteed hours of not being randomly called in! Likely it will mean a couple double-shifts thereafter because of being short-handed but what else was new? Corporate didn’t like them turning in more than sixty-hours per week for the full-timers so she would get the same hours after they had to rearrange the hours for the other five full-time cashiers. Not a paycheck hit, unless it was summer when they had the high schoolers available during normal work day hours.

“I will keep that in mind, sir.” Wait until she told the others of the new corporate policy!

(words 417; first published 5/3/2026)

Flash: Summer is Here

Erin Penn Leave a comment

Picture provided as Prompt for the Flash, Origin Unknown

The sign struggled with its messaging like the last autumn leaf clinging to an oak branch. “SuMmer IS heRe.” Merideth read the various sized letters on the ancient broken marquee below the faded blue paint and blinking neon motel sign. “I guess?”

“The autumnal equinox isn’t until tomorrow so we can roll with it,” Sabine said. She always knew things like when the moon cycle was and what zodiac sign went with which, and assured Merry that they would remain best friends forever with their Capricorn and Scorpio mix. “Although I think that sign hasn’t been changed in three years.”

“So, stop here?” The white compact had slowed as far as it could without actually stopping or turning into the gravel parking lot.

“You can’t drive any further, and I can’t drive after I take my meds.”

“Thank you.” Merideth’s gratitude was heartfelt. “I don’t think there is another motel for fifty miles and the mountain fog is getting bad now that the sun has completely set.” She angled Sabine’s car into the parking lot moving around two semis parked at the edge to get to the door marked office. “The semis are promising.”

“Nah, I can hear their engines running. The guys are sleeping in the trucks, not the motel.”

Once parked in the otherwise empty lot, they both fell out of the car, using it for support as they stretched in the rapidly darkening twilight. The gravel crunched under their feet once they regained their balance enough to make their way into the office for check-in.

Merry tapped the sign right under the office sign. “Newly remodeled.” She looked around at the two wings of the motel painted a sad mix of blue and peach visibly chipping and peeling in the blinking fluorescent lights. The sign itself had faded to barely visible gray lettering. “This one I don’t think I can stretch to any form of the truth.”

“If we go with remodeled this century, it might work. We are only twenty-five years into the new millennium.”

Merry nailed Sabine with a look of overdramatic disbelief, then they both laughed as they entered the office, the door jingling as it hit a bell above the entrance. Inside smelled of air conditioning mildew, forgotten cigarettes from when people smoked indoors, and bleach. Behind what looked like bulletproof glass with a small passthrough underneath sat a largish woman knitting a brown something. The space on the customer side was chipped tiled floor, a plastic tree with more leaves on the tile than the outside autumn leaves had dropped for tomorrow’s beginning of fall, and two chairs with their pretend leather seats cracked from age.

“Welcome to The Grand Sleeps Motor Lodge. How can I help you girls?” the woman asked as she set aside her knitting needles.

“Room for two. Separate beds if possible.” Sabine said, moving her purse to pull out her wallet. “Just for the one night. You take Visa, right?”

“Sure thing. We accept all major credit cards. I will also need a driver’s license.” The woman tapped the pass-through in front of her. The white linoleum had been worn down to wood in the valley.

Sabine shoved the two requested pieces of plastic through the dip.

Pulling out the computer tray from under the computer desk covered with yarn, the woman tapped a couple of keys and then ran the back of Sabine’s driver’s license under the red beam of a scanner after which she knocked the credit card against a second machine in the typical tap to pay manner before returning them. “All set,” she said before passing an actual set of keys through the passthrough with a large faded blue plastic number attached. “I set you up for room nine, just four doors down on your left. That one got freshened today so you should be all good.”

“That was fast, thanks.”

“Yep, we are all modernized here. Enjoy your stay. Put the keys into the key drop in the morning and we should be square.”

(words 672; first published 3/11/2026)

Created for a writer’s guild meeting off a visual prompt of a landscape picture.