Editing Rant: Abuse as Love Trope Needs to Die!

Photo by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

“Abuse as Love” trope needs to die. I don’t care if it is a horrible death or quiet. It needs to go far, far away and never, EVER return.

From a book I read (not edited, that goodness):

The “courtship” crossed the line into hive-inducing level of woman-in-danger.

The “fated mates” card was played HARD here. Too Hard. All the men were a-holes … in the same way – jerks to each other, overly possessive to their “fated mates”. I don’t care if the person is your perfect mate … you are not hers.

Drugged and Kidnapped!¬†All the clique lines of “you will understand”, “You love me, you just don’t realize it yet”.

At least, the woman tried to get away. Not effectively, but she did try.

Because anyone kidnapping you, saying “I am the only one for you”, in the real world you need to run, run hard and fast, girl.

No one loving you like this is healthy.

The actions portrayed were criminal, stalker-level behavior. Even under the fictional world’s legal definitions, the male “hero” needed to be put down for being the unbalanced feral beast unable to follow rules of the wider society.

You don’t drug someone you love. You don’t tie the person up.

You don’t remove them from their friends and family to gain control of their life.

We MUST stop writing books like this. ESPECIALLY Young Adult books (this one wasn’t a YA, but I’ve read YAs just as bad.

We need to stop staying

“he only teases you because he like you” / TEASE = he emotionally abuses you

“he keeps track of you because he cares” / TRACKS = he stalks you


Stop telling kids this. Stop telling teens this. Stop telling women this. Stop telling men this.

Criminal behavior is NEVER a sign of healthy love.