Tag: Thriller

Writing Exercise: Tension Arrows

Erin Penn

Photo by Susan Q Yin on Unsplash

After a read, I had the following feedback for an author:

Are you trying for thriller or horror vibe? I think the scare factor / tenseness needs to be ramped up a notch. This can be done by increasing the urgency (thriller leaning) or the uneasiness (horror). At the moment, the tenseness is steady throughout the book – might be helpful to work on building some up-and-down into the manuscript.

Tension needed to be ratcheted up within the story, but not all at once, and certainly not without some relief now and again. The roller-coaster ride needed to be put into play. In this particular case, a slow build was needed to start, but getting faster with time … taking a break now and again … then slam readers as they relax.

The tool I suggested to help visual this ride is place an arrow beside each build of tension, making sure to have at least one arrow per chapter. Adding more arrows as the manuscript progresses (3 or 4 per chapter by the end). Make a flat line or down arrow for each “break” from building tension.

WRITING EXERCISE: Write a tension-building scene. Add tension arrows once done.

My Attempt

The gun meant nothing. To him. To me. As it sat waiting between us.

Off to the side, the clock ticked, ticked, ticked. One of the old analog clocks of a bygone era, like the gun.

Peace. The world was at peace. Both of us could feel the calming emissions working their way through the layers of concrete between us and the city outside, but the scents blown up from the subway vents and billowing out of the skyscraper doorways had been replaced by mildew and dust in this time-forgotten subbasement.

We had left our cells at the entrance, before making our way down here. No tracking, no emissions.

Just us.

And a nothing gun.

He twitched. I moved faster.

The explosion pounded my chest, and I dropped the heavy metal object when the hot residual sprayed back.

(words 138, first published 11/22/2022)

Book Review (SERIES) Dragons of Boston

Erin Penn

Amazon Cover

Dragons of Boston by Chris A. Jackson

  1. Dragon Dreams
  2. Dragon Nemesis
  3. Dragon Legacy

BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON for DRAGON DREAMS

Introducing a new techno-thriller from Chris A. Jackson – The Dragons of Boston!

The monster awakens…

Harvard PhD student Aleksi Rychenkna longs for the peace of solitary study, away from people, questions, and human interaction. With a new advisor, a new project, and a fascinating new mystery, a preserved specimen that defies identification and contains human DNA, she has everything she wants.

But the mystery runs deeper than Aleksi bargains for. Powerful people are interested in her work; people who can make or break a young scientist’s career. Then, after an accidental exposure to the specimen’s strange DNA, she finds herself…changing.

It begins with dreams, nightmares of blood filled with violent images and urges. When threatened by another student, her social anxiety shifts to aggression. Her reflexes and instincts sharpen, and she is becomes stronger and faster than she should be. Aleksi begins to realize her dreams are more than psychosis.

Because they’re not dreams at all. They’re memories. And now the powerful people aren’t just interested in her, they’re hunting her.

MY REVIEW for DRAGON DREAMS

Even keeping the best records, maintaining the best containment, doing everything right, things can go grievously wrong. When Aleski discovers the bone slab she is working on is from an entirely different dig, her world shifts on its axis. She had just changed advisors and started a new project. Now this … DNA and X-ray mess of paleontology. She does her best to continue with her project despite everything, including a nasty head cold and an on-campus murder.

If that isn’t enough, she dreams of dragons. And she isn’t the only one.

Character driven, this action-packed story keeps you moving to the very end.

Deeper thoughts
My biggest problem with the book is how much the main character’s (Aleski) personality changed after her infection. We got to know her as a person, identify with her, and she changed so much she became unrecognizable. But then, she did become a dragon.

The theme of the story does seem to be about transformation. Is the person what they look like on the outside or what they are on the inside personality wise? Are they their experiences, even when the experiences are forgotten? Are they something else entirely? The questions aren’t addressed head-on, but they do nibble in the back of your head as you read the book.

Amazon Cover

BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON for DRAGON NEMESIS

The stunning techno-thriller trilogy that began with Dragon Dreams continues!

Aleksi Rychenkna’s metamorphosis is complete.

A long-extinct evolutionary twist that lies hidden with the human genome now soars through the skies above Boston. Hunted by the government that would use her as a weapon, sought by a secretive organization that can reshape human flesh, and loved by the one man who keeps her horrible secret, Aleksi lives in the shadows.

But the transformation that reshaped Aleksi into Homo Draconis is contagious, and she harbors a plague that could reshape the world of mankind.

There is, however, the promise of hope. But can Aleksi trust those who say they can make her human again? If it means a chance to regain her life, to become Aleksi Rychenkna again, to be with the man she loves again, perhaps it’s worth the risk.

But the powers that want an army of dragons will risk humanity to get one. Aleksi is not the only Dragon of Boston, but those who made him know not what they have unleashed. This new dragon has but one irresistible urge burning in his mind: he must find Aleksi Rychenkna. For male dragons are driven only to eliminate rivals and procreate.

MY REVIEW for DRAGON NEMESIS

Even better than the first, Dragon Nemesis starts where Dragon Dream leaves off in the Dragons of Boston series.

Each book easily stands alone, but also supports the overarching narrative. No cliffhangers!

The new male dragon in town, David, is a world of difference from Penningly in so many ways. Will he be able to throw off the dragon instincts, as he has done all his life with his human instincts in response to his training and responsibilities? Or will his long history as a solider, as a killer (spy-assassin), make him succumb that much faster? Be that much more deadly in his skill and sanity? I fell in love a bit with David.

The cops show up again, as does Hutch’s ex and her family, and the DHS. The story is logical and full, the world and its characters fully realized. Great story!

 

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BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON for DRAGON LEGACY

The Captive Dragon…

While Aleksi struggles to become human again, Lori Watkins, the single surviving victim of the rogue dragon, David Gilford, begins her metamorphosis in captivity.

Traumatized by the death of her fiancé and tormented by the dreams of the dragon she is becoming, Lori is struggling for sanity. She has only one hope, for others know she’s being held captive. But with a dragon in hand, Lori’s captors aren’t likely to make a deal with the secretive organization that wields more skill in manipulating the human genome than they do, and Aleksi’s new family will never trust the government with the ability to cure the Homo Draconis infection.

But angering the Department of Homeland Security is not unlike taunting a dragon, and Lori’s captors are as much out for vengeance as they are for the secret of creating an army of non-infectious dragons.

The two organizations are doomed to clash, and in the middle stands the man Aleksi loves. But if one thing is more dangerous than keeping a dragon captive, it’s threatening one’s loved ones.

MY REVIEW for DRAGON LEGACY

The conclusion of Dragon Legacy works as a stand-alone, though the story will be much better if you have read the whole story.

The first third of the book sags with personalities being pieced together; healing and hurting; and political maneuvers. Then the bombs go off and the rest of the book is a Thriller ride all the way.

Flash: Vision

Erin Penn

Image from freedigitalphoto.net

“Whoa,” I say, my head spinning. Spots form in front of my eyes. I may have rocked and swayed, but hard to guess as the red, green, and blue swim and dance, circling, crossing, merging. Spiraling.

I sit hard. Ground or seat, I couldn’t tell. Black and yellow add to the party. A flash, once, twice. Not unlike some of the vision migraines I get, only clear lines instead of hazy holes.

Cinnamon. I smell cinnamon. My only connection to the world while the colors convalesce into skulls. “Pen, paper,” I say, the image finally firm.

Sound returns, and feeling in my fingers, as someone shoves the requested items into my hands. “Here you go Carla. Ballpoint, blue. It’s all I got. Pencil in your left hand.” I don’t recognize the voice, can’t even tell if it is male or female, but that is normal. “You are at a table, flat surface.”

And I draw. I can’t see what I’m drawing, but I draw. Until I’m done, I won’t see anything else. I have broken fingernails scratching what comes to me into my own flesh, lacking any other medium to use.

“You recognize that?” a different voice asks as I sketch the outline with both hands, pencil immediately followed by ink.

“No, no … wait … maybe.”

A quick pass of shading obtains a response. “Gotcha, you bastard. Duran?”

“Yeah, I know where that is, amber units, calling all amber units…”

The voice fades away. I keep drawing.

Two hours later, I see a cup of water and a sandwich beside the paper. Weirdly the yellow and green come through with the mix of pencil and ink. Looking at the police, I croak, “Any luck?”

“We got him, but the kid …” the officer doesn’t meet my eyes. They didn’t bring me in until 48 hours had passed. I wish they could use me sooner, sometimes. But this gift of mine isn’t kind. Going into whatever, wherever I go, leaves a mark. No, more like a hole. A void. I’m going to spend the next week under a suicide watch, so I’m glad for the kindness of not using psychics until all other options are closed.

I lift the stuffed rabbit from my lap, where it had fallen, and give it back to the uniform. After I stand, they put my manacles back on and return me to my cell.

(words 400; first published 9/4/2023)

Book Review: Steeplejack

Erin Penn

Amazon Cover

Steeplejack by A.J. Hartley

BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON

Thoughtfully imaginative and action-packed, Steeplejack is New York Times bestselling A. J. Hartley’s YA debut set in a 19th-century South African fantasy world

Seventeen-year-old Anglet Sutonga lives and works as a steeplejack in Bar-Selehm, a sprawling city known for its great towers, spires, and smokestacks – and even greater social disparities across race and class.

Ang’s world is turned upside-down when her new apprentice Berrit is murdered the same night that the city’s landmark jewel is stolen. Her search for answers behind his death exposes unrest in the streets and powerful enemies. But she also finds help from unexpected friends: a kindhearted savannah herder, a politician’s haughty sister, and a savvy newspaper girl. As troubles mount in Bar-Selehm, Ang must discover the truth behind both murder and theft soon – or else watch the city descend into chaos.

 

MY REVIEW

The opening is a mesmerizing account of climbing a chimney to repair it, perfectly explaining the main character, the city, and the culture in a single moment. The moment when our main character realizes the Beacon is missing.

The story then unfolds in this alternate universe without magic or weird-science, from the era of steampunk without being steampunk. Part murder mystery, part political thriller. Our seventeen-year-old protagonist, whose skin color bars her entry to everything with power and money, discovers herself in the middle of power and money.

All she wants is justice for a boy no one cared about. A hidden murder of a throw-away child in a throw-away occupation; steeplejacks fall all the time. To solve his murder, Ang will have to climb high in the city’s political soot and ash, and risk falling even further. If she falls, she will be just another steeplejack crumpled by the city’s harsh cobblestones. 

But if she doesn’t fall, she just might ignite a war.

Book Review: A Gentleman of the Old School

Erin Penn

Amazon Cover

A Gentleman of the Old School: A Santore Security Novel (Book 1) by Katie Pressa

BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON

Edie Bayette has it all: looks, money, and loyal friends. A top-notch attorney, she relishes a good legal fight and works pro-bono for a local women’s clinic. But when a one-night stand delivers more than Edie bargained for, she must make a choice: let it wreck her life, or take a huge risk by falling in love for the first time.

Mack Santore served his country with honor and retired to start his own top-notch security service. Celebrities love him because of his intelligence, experience, and discretion. But Mack’s current client—a women’s clinic targeted by terrorists—puts him on edge. Then, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen walks in. And he can barely breathe.

When Edie catches Mack staring, her whole body thrills with a dangerous desire. But despite their attraction, how can a relationship ever work? Mack swears by love and commitment, two things Edie only knows about from the dictionary.

Can Mack and Edie overcome the odds? Will they even have a chance to try?

MY REVIEW

Wow, that is one of the best romance stories I have read in a long, long time. 

Strong characters – woman and male are true equals and the best at their jobs. Their jobs were important to the story. Background characters were amazing, friendships real, action solid. Well-developed backstories and reveals. Thriller subplot kept everything going.

Plot line of romance. Plot line of personal growth for each of the main characters. Plot line of thriller. Plot line introducing characters for other books in series – so subtle you don’t even notice it. 

Perfect example of how lawyers act. Perfect examples of how security firms act. Yes, the story had politically touchy subjects: family care clinics, poor sections of town being treated worse, blacks being questioned harder than whites, … But these are characters seeing it from their side of the world. Right or wrong, these are how people in these situation see these things.

Everything mixed well. You want to know how it is done. Ms. Pressa brought it all to the table.