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Category: Editing Rant
Editing Rant: Shifting Sands
Image acquired from: 8052643 © Radim Spitzer | Dreamstime.com
I’ve just finished reading a paranormal shifter romance where the shifters never shifted and the only paranormal activity was performed by the normal entering the paranormal world at the very end of the book. The ending scene was great, but when the book is a SHIFTER Paranormal Romance, all three parts of the genre should be touched on.
I wanted to see the dragon shifter in action. This is not the first time I read a shifter book where the shifter never shifted. If you are writing a shifter book, the shifter needs to shift at least once. It’s like reading a romance without any romance. Without a shifter shifting, a romance romancing, the story is build on shifting sands instead of a solid (worldbuilding) foundation.
In this particular case, at least the paranormal aspects of the world remained intact. But the truth is for this manuscript, the shifters could have been vampires, dwarves, genies, or any other human-appearing creature. You may have heard the example, “if you can replace a character with a lamp, it isn’t a character”. In this case, if you could replace the shifter with a normal (billionaire), it isn’t a shifter.
As a writer, your job is to bring your world to life, generic doesn’t cut it. (see previous rant on Generic Worldbuilding)
Don’t do shifting sands. Rock your world foundation.
Editing Rant: Likeable
Photo by Taylor Smith on Unsplash
I read a book which if the book hadn’t been chosen by my book group, I would have jettisoned the book into the “abort” pile in chapter four, the verbal fight felt too manufactured.
More importantly, why I would have willingly swiped the book into my delete file is the main character (MC) took forever to develop one likable trait. Only during Chapter 9 – 25% through the story – did the MC show compassion and sympathy for another human being. Until then she used, lied, cheated, and manipulated everyone around her; only her tenacity in solving murder cases and drive to bring out the truth into the light of day etched marks on the “good person” side of the ledger.
Taking 25% of a manuscript is too long. Once the MC had showed emotional connection with the rest of humanity did I personally, as a reader, connect to her. And the rest of the book became interesting, the mystery engrossing. But until then, the only thing that kept me going was “book club.”
I’ve previous touched on how to make the MC engage the reader on 6/1/2017 (Magical Words May 13, 2014) “Characters Who Matter”. Engagement requires empathy and the MC needs AT LEAST two of the five following character traits: Sympathy, Jeopardy, Likability, Power, and Humor. And these traits need to introduced before Bad traits – like using and manipulating other people. Read the Magical Word post for the full discussion on this matter here: http://www.magicalwords.net/specialgueststars/darynda-jones-how-i-make-my-characters-unfogettable/
This MC wasn’t sympathy, those were the victims she gaslit to help her in her investigations. No jeopardy, she put others in jeopardy. Nothing to show why anyone would spend time with her, so likability is out. Power, yes a gun, but in general, the MC was a standard down-on-their-luck gumshoe. Very little power. Humor … the fights were very funny. That was it, good fun fights.
Too often people write the main characters as users, without showing the investment the MC made into the friendship before needing to use them. Instead the MCs come across as gaslighting, narcissistic monsters. Just because MC is the baddest dog in the pen does not mean any of the other dogs are going to play with them.
Editing Rant: Read Later Becomes Read Never
5401311 © Peto Zvonar | Dreamstime.com
Read Series Before They Are Done
It’s book shopping time, getting all the last minute gifts for the holidays. The question is: stand-alone or series?
Today I’m going to Rant on Series.
Many readers do not buy books until all the series is completely done, and they binge it at that time. Thing is, if the series doesn’t sell the publisher will drop the series … and the author.
It’s a vicious cycle. Readers don’t want to read a series in case it never finishes, and no one buys the series so it never gets finished.
“Maybe if the writer completed the series before publication?” some people ask.
Do you know how long it takes to write a series? And to do that before a single dime comes in? Not happening if the writer needs the income. And a writer who has other income sources doesn’t have the time to invest without feedback to know what they are writing is something people want to read. Unlike a day job where you show up and get paid, writing requires showing up day-in-day-out (Butt in Chair) in the HOPES that what you are writing will SOME DAY create income. If the first book of the series doesn’t capture attention, and the second only makes a tickle, then no third book will happen.
If you are able, please read as you go, both authors who are self-published (SP) and traditionally published. You see, publishers expect a drop-off in sales as a series progresses, not an increase. If the initial numbers are low, the publisher (and the self-published) will look for something to make them more money. If the initial numbers don’t pay off the first book and at least part of the second, they “know” the series will lose money and stop.
If you want a series, if you want an author to keep writing, buy it as it comes out.
Unless all the books light up with sales, there isn’t enough sales brightness to continue the writing and reading.
Editing Rant: Foreshadowing
Photo by Jose Francisco Morales on Unsplash
I hate foreshadowing used to build tension. After reading over 200 slush submissions this year, I find they are common device, used as a lazy writer’s tension builder.
The formula is:
- Describe the situation (ie, infodump the worldbuilding)
- Introduce the character
- End the opening chapter with “But the character doesn’t know what is about to hit them.”
You don’t need to tell us what is about to happen. Don’t be the news where they open the news with “Big Developments in X”, story soon. Then as they go to break, “X had Big Developments today.” Coming back from the commercials. “Huge Changes for X.” Eventually the news program gives a one minute segment on the topic. They spent more time pushing the story than on the story itself. That is what tension created through foreshadowing feels like.
Yes, foreshadowing – WHEN USED WELL – is a great device. But it’s best integrated into the story through a seer or someone within the story hinting at the future.
Don’t have the Narrator go “just you wait!!! This is going to be great!”
That is telling, not showing.
Don’t be formalistic, don’t create artificial tension, and don’t reveal major plot points by telling before you show us. And really, really don’t do this as the hook for the first chapter. Please!
Related Posts: Artificial Crisis (1/12/21)