Photo by Massimo Adami on Unsplash
THIS! THIS IS WHAT I MEAN BY BUILDING!!!
Okay, let me start from the beginning. A common issue with authors getting their first (or fifty-first) edit is repeating information. Now, repeating information isn’t necessarily bad, but it shouldn’t be the same as what has appeared before.
Places to repeat information include (1) at the beginning of each book in a series or serial. (a) The series needs a recap, but it doesn’t need to be more complicated than the normal background information drops; it just so happens that this time you have an actual book with the background information, not just something in the character’s head that needs to be let out slowly. (b) For a serial (where the characters don’t change (much) between stories and the books can be read in any order – for example cozy mystery “series”), just need to quickly reintroduce the characters.
Do not do the serial introduction with a cut-and-paste of previous information (for the love of everything, please don’t do this!!!). Maybe introduce them through the eyes of a different character, or by having us get to know them through observing the new murder mystery.
(2) When there is a mystery or something unfurling like it, such as a political thriller, and a recap is needed periodically to keep the reader on the same page with the character.
(3) Just the general making sure the reader doesn’t forget an important aspect of what is happening.
When not to repeat EVER – you just said the information not two paragraphs ago. (SECONDARY RANT!!!)
I need to tell him to bathe before we leave, Martha thinks as she rushes upstairs.
John, being the teenager that he is, is still struggling to get out of bed. His younger brother is tying his shoes.
“Don’t forget to shower. Hop to it or we will be late.” Martha tells John before heading down the hall to change her clothes.
You think I am joking that this sort of thing happens all the time, but it does. Don’t repeat. Build.
Options
One) Have a different character say the information so the perspective is different.
I need to tell him to take a bath before we leave, Martha thinks as she rushes upstairs.
John, being the teenager that he is, is still struggling to get out of bed. His younger brother is tying his shoes.
“Hurry up, we are going to be late. And shower!” Martha tells John before heading down the hall to change her clothes.
“Yeah John, shower. You are stinky,” says Rafe. With the skill developed over a lifetime of being the younger brother, he dodges the pillow thrown at him.
(Two) Different information. Each time the repeat is done (three times to make something real), reveal different details An example is describing the character’s car each time they get in: (a) the red sports car; (b) he loved the remote heating seats in winter; (c) the white interior fortunately was leather so the mud would clean out. This works like background information, don’t reveal certain details unless they are needed. No need for a one-page character / item description when you can drop details in throughout the book.
(Three) Build. Each time something is repeated, reveal something more. Make it richer.
Back to the THIS! THIS!
So in Dungeon Crawler Carl, one of his catch phrases is “You will not break me.” But Matt Dinniman is amazing, he only has Carl say this once per book. It is a defining line, but it is said differently each time. (Another catch phrase is “Damnit Donut.” If you are reading this series, watch this line evolve.)
Book One is the standard: “You’re not going to break me,” I said. “You might hurt me, or kill me, but you’re not going to break me.”
The wonderful confidence, knowing death is likely, but he will mentally fight them with everything he has and hold it together. He won’t become what they want. A wonderfully innocent thought.
Book Two, the sentiment builds emotionally: You will not break me. You will not break me. (Fuck you all.)
Book Three, the words are written out with planning and intent, a mental commitment: They will not break me. Fuck them all. They will not break me. But I will break them. This is my promise to myself, to my friends, and to you, anyone who reads these words. I will break them all. – Crawler Carl, 25th Edition of The Dungeon Anarchist’s Cookbook
This is what I mean by, “if you must repeat, build.” Matt Dinniman builds.