Flash: The Antichrist’s Big Sister Blog – Part 1

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Rating: Mature (Language)

Anyhow my job is not to get in the way of the end of the world.

That is actually harder than it sounds. My brother is the Antichrist.

My little brother.

And he is such a goofball right now. I want to protect him, keep him safe, but his dad told me Billy has got to suffer and come to hate everything to do his job right. So my job is to let bad things happen to little Billy.

And I just can’t. I mean what kind of big sister would I be? The kid is only five.

I guess I should start at the beginning. My mom was a typical divorced mom. Well, if you sneak a little black witchcraft in on the side. She didn’t start that way, but my dad was truly a piece of work. Before he fucked up her life she was all Glenda the Good Witch crossed with Soccer Mom. White picket fence, two-car garage, and sky-clad barbeques for Halloween. But the asshole left her for his secretary, let the house fall in foreclosure, and, here is the kicker, because he is a “pillar of the community”, he calls up everyone that hires her and lets slip how awful she is and they believe him. So she couldn’t hold down a job. Bastard is a total control freak. He has decided he owns her and wants her to beg for everything. Even got the court system to say she can’t move away from him because he needs access to his daughter.

Which is a lie. Since he got two sons by his second wife, who he is cheating on with his NEW secretary, his daughter hasn’t had a single home visit. Nor does he think I need child support. Hasn’t paid a dime since the ultrasound verified the fetus inside Number Two had a dick. Since he plays golf with the only judge in the county who oversees family disputes, the paperwork to get child support keeps getting lost. Needless to say Mom is angry about everything and is trying to get even with the only power left to her.

Like I said, typical divorced mom.

She does know how to pick them. Not learning from her first mistake, she brought home a new guy when I was twelve – only a year after the divorce was final. New guy was a handsome charmer like my dad, with a touch of danger to him. Not the hit-the-woman danger, but the same danger as my dad – the “I-will-do-what-I-like-and-damn-the-consequences”  aura that makes grown women want to take that bad boy home and try to tame him. Cripes, I hope my early exposure will offer some immunity.

Anyhow, this time she didn’t bring home a guy like Satan, she brought the horned deal Himself. Not that she knew at the beginning. She thought he was some guy her love spell brought to her.

Love spell do not make good relationships, just letting you know up front if you practice magic. Just don’t, cast them, use them, buy them. You are better off being alone than in any relationship formed with compulsion summoning as the base.

They got married. Why? I don’t know. I once asked the horned guy why he made an honest woman of my mom. She had been giving it away for free within hours of his first home visit. He shrugged and said it just seem like the thing to do when she got pregnant. I know the guy lies, a lot, but the best lies contain the truth – just like the best demons were once angels.  So I think the reason he thinks he has for marrying my mom is something else entirely, but the real reason which he won’t even admit to himself is it really did seemed like the thing to do at the time. 

Yes, I am psychoanalyzing my demonic step-dad. If you had my family, you would too.

I suppose you think I should have tried to stop the marriage. First off, at the time I was thirteen, you better believe I was a total ass about the marriage. But I was an ass about everything at the time so my mom didn’t really notice. Second, compared to my biological father, Satan still comes off better in comparison. Yes, he cheats on her, but he doesn’t hide the fact. He also got us a house, pays all our bills, has found my mom a job bio dad can’t touch her at, and answers my questions like I am a real person instead of a kid. That last goes a long way in my book. I respect the horned guy.

But, Billy is my little brother and I love him.

Anyhow, my job is not to get in the way of the Apocalypse. Suggestions?

(words 803 – first published 4/6/2013; republished in new blog format 7/16/2017 )