Flash: David B. Coe Con Challenge Two – Bigger on the Inside


During ConCarolinas 2013, I added a panel where David B. Coe promised provided a series of writing challenges to help those in attendance develop tone, dialog, and voice skills. This is the second of three postings related to the challenges.

2) Write a scene between two people that does not use “said” or “asked” or any other direct attribution of dialog, but instead relies on gesture, mannerism, or just the established order of who is speaking.  Make sure it’s always clear who has said what.

“I’m not sure about this.” Tom looked over his shoulder at Rose.

The blond pursed her lips, her eyes invisible behind mirrored sunglasses. “I promise you, it’s just a prank. A jokester like Baker will love it.”

“He does like his jokes.” Finally getting the lock to release, Tom pushed the dorm room door open. No one had noticed them in the hall yet. The campus was empty for Spring Break, but a few stragglers like themselves could come by at any time. The couple hurried into the room and closed the door behind them.

Tom looked around surprised. Evan’s room was empty. Not empty as in bed stripped and closets safeguarding a couple bent hangers empty, but nothing. No bed, no closet, no desk, no window. Still, light filled the room. A seemingly endless room. “What the hell?”

“Sorry about this sweetie.”

A needle buried itself into Tom’s meaty shoulder. He tried to turn, but Rose was too quick. Cool liquid burned into his system and he felt onto the non-floor.

“Why?” Escaped his lips as the world fuzzed.

“Two may enter where one can leave.” Satisfied her dupe was in la-la land, the coed known as Rose Davison tapped a button on her glasses activating features GoogleGlass would love to reverse engineer and got to work. “Now, my dear Baker, where did you hide the keys? I only want a joy ride. I promise to return everything in good order. Maybe.” (words 243)

Flash name: Bigger on the Inside

(First published 6/12/2013; published in new blog format 4/25/2017)