Photo by Gabriel Silvério on Unsplash – Cropped, duplicated, and assembled by Erin Penn
Don’t keep repeating information. Your reader likely caught it the first time. EXPAND on it each time, either adding additional information or showing how the character perspective is changing.
So many edits I do keep on having the SAME info drop. Yes, it takes three times to make something real, so you need to keep reminding people of an important piece of information. But it shouldn’t.be.the.same.thing.each.time.
OMG.
For a recent edit, one of the romantic interests had been abused by their ex, physical, emotional, magical…the most important part of the abuse for the plot was gaslighting and holding back information, because the other romantic interest, the NEW and “GOOD” love interest (I will call them MC) is holding back some serious information on the magical side. And the magical THREE times to make it real, when the MC trips across the problem, EACH time they go “I really need to tell them or they will be angry.” Same level of emotion, same level of processing, same level of balance in the relationship. The fourth time, the trip-wire problem is tripped, and guess what? The person who wasn’t told by the MC was angry.
Because no building happened, no transformation of the character happened, the reader response is “dumb-ass, you knew better and had half the book to address it.”
INSTEAD OF a simple three-to-be-real:
One) This secret that would make her angry based on how her last spouse treated her.
Two) Dang, I can’t believe the secret is still my secret. I need to keep it from her or she will be angry based on how her ex used to manipulate her.
Three) She hates stuff like that, I need to keep my secret or she will react badly based on her last relationship.
Result) Secret’s out and she reacted in anger as expected based on her last husband.
THE BUILD COULD HAVE BEEN:
I have a secret that would make her angry based on how her last spouse treated her. (focus on her past)
Dang, I can’t believe the secret is still my secret. I know she will be angry, rightly so, for me keeping it this long. Can I let it out? I don’t want to lose her friendship. (focus on self)
She hates stuff like that. I am shit for not telling her about my secret and I dare not tell her now because she will break up with me for the betrayal. (focus on the interaction between them)
Secret’s out, and she reacted in anger expected based on her last husband AND my betrayal of not telling her things. (focus on both their actions, but his taking responsibility for his choices)
ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF BUILDING
Another recent edit kept having the same description of how attractive the male found his love interest. The description was the same each time, something along the lines of “her eyes mesmerized me”, then a couple chapters later “I was mesmerized by her eyes”, a couple chapter later “I fell into her mesmerizing eyes.”
Don’t just describe. Build the description, show how the relationship is changing. In the next four examples, each time the description of “blue eyes” changes, becoming more emotionally connected.
She had blue eyes.
Her blue eyes looked like home, like where I wished home had been, like the lake we visited every year growing up.
Her eyes flashed in anger, sparkling like sapphires. Her lips pressed white in rage, but still reminded me of rubies. She is my treasure. … And I really needed to stop being in awe that she loves me, before she kills me.
Tears rimmed the lakes of her eyes, and I fell in downing with her, drawing her into my arms as we wept.
Don’t worry about these fixes during the first draft. “BUILDING ON THE REVEAL” ARE FIXES – which means they need to FIX something. The first draft has to be written in order to fix something. But once you are done writing, and you made sure the plot is plotting (Second draft), then create the characters, seed the builds, show – don’t tell – us the emotional development of the relationships (Third draft). Have fun.
Building on the Reveal is all about the first rule of writing fiction: Don’t be boring.
And repeating information is boring. If you have to talk about it three times because it is important, then don’t REPEAT what you are talking about.
Chekhov’s gun is on the wall in the first act. The characters’ comment on the history, who owned it, in the second act. Third act at the start, they notice the maid had dusted it. End of the third act, it goes off. If it just sat on the wall, mentioned three different times in the book when characters walked in the room as being on the dang wall, well, that is snooze-worthy boring. (And thus finishes the third example of building on the reveal.)
Don’t be boring.
Build on the reveal.
