Category: Editing Rant

Editing Rant: Where did the POV go?

Erin Penn

Cartoon Businessman Under Pile Of Paper In Graveyard

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What happens after the POV leaves? (hint: nothing the reader knows about)

Okay, fearless blog followers, today’s lesson is POV (Point of View). Most people write genre fiction from either first person or close third person POV. First person allows for intense feelings to be expressed, opinions to be shared, and a focused story. Third person allows some POV changes, the ability to pull back from the action (example a battle the person is in) etc.

In either case, be aware when your POV character leaves the scene – that is it, done. Nothing else can be known about that scene unless another POV character is used. Omniscient POV would allow the scene to continue, but the present market has trained readers to dislike omniscient POV. Therefore, the scene is ended, dead, buried by the removal of the POV. Move along, nothing more to be seen here.

The lesson takeout is be aware who your point of view is in a scene – be aware that nothing is known (to the reader) until the POV character shows up and nothing is known (to the reader) after the POV leaves. The “camera” does not stay behind.

Yes, I know you want to show the group’s reaction to the POV storming off. But a first-person POV doesn’t work that way. Writing has rules. … Yes, rules are made to be broken. But first one needs to know the rules and why they exist before deciding why THIS manuscript should be the exception to the rule. Usually the answer, once the rule is understood, is “well, I just want to be lazy about the rule” or “I wanted the readers to enjoy my Darling scene.” (kill the Darlings – more on this another editing rant)

Anyone have examples they want to share of when POV rules were broken? Did it help the story or feel like a cop-out? Why or why not?

Editing Rant: Be a Dear

Erin Penn

People Speaking POV Stock Photo

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Characters need to sound different.

After everything is written down in the initial spew of words – go back over the dialogue and decide how the characters sound. Are they from different parts of the county? Different education levels? Different jobs? How do they communicate? Is one a leader? Get a feel for who they are, write down a few quirks, then go back over the dialogue.

Character speaking quirks also applies to nicknames – not everyone uses them, and they definitely should not be the same for everyone. One book I edited had males and females, whether 70, 40 or 20, use the endearment “Dear”. Everyone. Every.single.character. Not “sweetie”, “hon”, “lovey”, “buddy”, but every affectionate diminutive between lovers, parent-child, or pals was “dear”.

People are different – do more than just hair color, eye color and height!

Patterns of speech are driven by many different aspects of a character. You can give insight to a character or situation just through dialogue. 

What assumptions would a reader make about the following?

“Hey hon, what’s ya order?”

“Sir. Are you ready to order?”

In both cases, someone is taking a food order at an eating establishment. Both start with an attention getting mannerism, followed by a request. Yet I bet you have totally different visions on how the food server is dressed, what they are holding to take the order, what the restaurant looks like, maybe even how their hair looks and what type of napkins are on the table. All from 5 or 6 words of dialogue.

Book Cover for Honestly

In Honestly, after I was finished the initial pass I went back and decided to create some differences so people could know who was speaking without any dialogue tags. Troy does not use contractions, being bi (tri or quad) lingual adds a precision to his communication. He is naturally very formal. The only time you will see him use contraction is speaking one-on-one with a child.

On the other hand Terrell’s speaking is explosive and highly related to either understanding something or sharing information. I changed some of the more complicated words he used to simpler constructs, plus adjusted the languages of those people talking directly to the young child.

As for the main character, Kassandra uses different terms of endearments when speaking with her son and her lover. I adjusted language for age of the characters, cultural backgrounds, and education levels. While doing that some of the actions of the characters changed as I discovered education levels and different upbringings. Learning how my characters talked taught me more about who they are.

WRITING EXERCISE: For you present work-in-progress (WIP) choose a chapter and review the dialogue. Or write about 200 words with two characters talking. Do their word choices match their profession? How about their age? How about whether they grew up in a rural or urban environment?

READING EXERCISE: For the book you are reading find a section of mostly dialogue. Based on the two or three pages what information do you learn about the characters based on their speaking word choices alone.

Editing Rant: Outline

Erin Penn

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Why Outline?

On the days when your muse takes a day off, you can still keep going. Words on paper every day is how a book gets completed. You don’t need a detailed outline, just a line or two per chapter to do the trick. I am hoping to use my outline to get through my post-convention slump. 

In addition outlining helps with:

  1. Refining the concept – Sometimes the story is not about what you think it is about. Once you know what the important conflict is, keeping focused on the plot pacing is easier.
  2. Pacing – Essential for genres where you need to provide clues and red herrings, such as mysteries. You don’t want to give them up all at once or hold them back too long. Useful everywhere – quests (journey stages), relationship development (love at first sight still needs tension), and emotional changes (when does the first change occur, when the backslide, and the final new emotional habit develop?).
  3. Timeline pressure – Ticking clock, need to know when everything happens, and picking up the pace as the deadline approaches.
  4. Large casts – Don’t let people just disappear and keep the pivotal characters impact consistent throughout the manuscript.

And from the editing standpoint if you are under contract:

  1. Length – Get a feel for how long the book is. Over time you will know how many words are in a chapter. Do you need to add chapters to reach your word count or do you need to go on a path of destruction? An outline can help indicate which sub-plots you can remove.
  2. Synopsis – Hate synopsis? Providing one to your content editor will help them know what direction you are going.  Use the outline to figure out what is specific to the largest plot and present that.
  3. Time left to write – So that contract. It has a deadline. Just how far are you into writing that book? Your editor needs to know – YESTERDAY – if you are falling behind. … And if you are not under contract because you are a new writer, I recommend setting a personal goal to practice meeting deadlines. Many of the editors for hire have narrow windows for taking on new business; you are going to want to fit into one. (Yep, there is the editing rant as promised. Deadline, folks!!!)
  4. Pantser editing – After finishing your story, go back and outline it to help you refine how you need to edit your story. Which chapters might need moving? Where does the pacing slump? Is any chapter just an info/history dump and needs to be redistributed so it is not disruptive?

An outline is the scaffolding, the building blocks, the DNA of your story. What other things do you think an outline will help you with?

Other Cool Blogs: Wired August 8, 2014

Erin Penn

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I see you editing and going nuts. How many times was “throughly…thoroughly” wrong? How could “hte” be missed… ten times? Gird and grid are both real words, who knew? And how many times did the character fire cannons from the brig instead of the bridge. Sigh. Guess it is time for proofreading round number six.

What’s Up with That: Why It’s So Hard to Catch Your Own Typos is a blog posting on Wired  from August 2014 written by Nick Stockton which give some insights on proofreading your own work is so hard. (Hint: It is because you are TOO smart.) Click here to read the article.