Category: Editing Rant

Editing Rant: Gonna Leave a Bruise

Erin Penn

Wound healing process XXL. Painful bruise of elbow shot during three weeks.

Photo 6878893 / Bruise © Fedor Kondratenko | Dreamstime.com (PAID FOR)
Okay, I’ve reached my limit with this particular nonsense.
BRUISES DO NOT FORM IMMEDIATELY!!!!
We’ve all gone and said at one point or other, “that is going to leave a bruise” – but do you see purple and blue the first day??? – NO!!!
Why do authors have characters in books start bruising immediately? Big blue and purple monstrosities. Same-day black eyes. Bruised knuckles. Black and blue on the spine after being thrown on the floor.
Even if you are a superhero with a quick healing factor, the damage will be not purple and blue, as those colors are CHEMICAL REACTIONS, not your body healing.
Fun Fact – It takes one to two days for the hemoglobin in the blood to change to bluish-purple and/or black. After 5 to 10 days, the bruise will get the green/yellow tint. Initial damage is pink, red, and white. (White where swelling in high.)
Biography
Medical News Today. “Bruise colors over time and their causes.” https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/322742#bruise-colors-over-time-and-their-causes (last viewed 4/12/2022)

Editing Rant: Women in Jeopardy

Erin Penn

Photo by Sinitta Leunen on Unsplash

A book edit from half a decade ago (mid-2010’s) tried to hit ALL the TOXIC women-in-jeopardy tropes in a single manuscript.

I wrote an email to a friend listing all the issues after reading the manuscript and before writing the editing response so I could organize my thoughts and separate myself from my emotional reaction:

(1) Woman lies about a rape (I think I can get the author to drop that nightmare)

(2) women are cat called, called slut, etc.

(3) bully threatens to rape main character’s (MC’s) girlfriend (GF)

(4) bully corners GF and tries to rape her

(5) bully kidnaps GF and tears the clothes off and tries to rape her (… yes, this is a second and separate incidence)

(6) a different girl gets the mental thought response of “I knew she wanted to kiss me”

(7) … looking ahead GF gets kills. Refrigerator all the way.

… Dude wrote it.

***

My task, and I didn’t have a choice in accepting it since the book was contracted, was to bring the manuscript up to modern standards and mitigate the awful tropes without destroying the story or his voice. 

A couple-few of additional factors I want to bring up about this rant.

(a) I do need to say a dude wrote it as women authors I have worked with have also bought into the women-need-rape-as-character-development trope. Females have internalized the rape culture of our society as much as men.

(b) Most of these would be acceptable for a story in isolation. The combination of all of them in the same book though is too much by modern standards. It’s no longer the seventies with the back-splash of the sixties as the 50-something writers reacted to the change to “their” world done by the 20-somethings of the “trust no one over 40” generation. 

Most traditionally published books not only run about five years behind on subjects because of the time it takes from book concept through writing to publishing, but also run about two decade behind on what is happening on the society-changing front. It can take several decades to develop the skill set for book publication, which means first-time best-sellers tend to be in their fifties. Thriller and mystery are especially behind on the society curve as their audience runs even older than the writers.

(c) The biggest trope of the above I think needs real killing is “I knew she wanted it.” Express consent is now the name of the game. Only villains should have these thoughts, and even that is getting old.

Look, I get it. Someone-in-jeopardy is needed in books and the MC’s love interest brings a wealth of emotion to the table on top of the action-adventure angle. Just realize sexual jeopardy isn’t the only choice. Threatening rape again and again and again isn’t edgy, it’s unimaginative. And that, my friends, is the biggest objection. Be creative with your character torture, not the same-old same-old. Boring is bad. TOXIC women-in-jeopardy tropes need to go; create new jeopardy tropes and keep us on the edge of our seats.

Editing Rant: Roller Coaster

Erin Penn

Photo by Elle Edwards on Unsplash

Wow, the slush read I just finished had an amazing opening, and then total crash and burn. I’m going to have to reject it.

So boss (Falstaff Publishing), opened up submissions to slush. What that means is we have a TON of submissions from unknown authors seeking their first publication credit and not everyone is ready for prime time. Actually, very, very, VERY few are ready for prime time, and I have hundreds to read.

Plus side, I’m going to have Editing Rants for years to come.

Minus is turning people down for stuff that is good, just needs serious but doable work. The one I read is the poster child of this dilemma. Working with the author, the manuscript can be fixed. It would take awhile but could be fixed. Problem is I got space for only three in the publication schedule and two hundred entries. “Needs serious work” isn’t going to make it. But I don’t want the author to quit writing. They are good. They are capable of being even better.

I can’t “fix” two hundred manuscripts. That is what the Editing Rants are about – getting writers to be even better without me developmentally editing 20,000,000 words. I love my job, but I don’t have time for that.

Back to this particular editing rant.

The first chapter was amazing. Jumped me right into the action, immersed over my head. Then … chapter two.

Switch point-of-view (POV) character who ALSO is waking up.

Yep, the first chapter was amazing even with the POV just waking up. The action started immediately and within two seconds the reader is right there with the character. In chapter two, with the second character, all the story background gets dumped as the character goes about the normal day. One lonnnnng infodump.

So what I want to talk about is the roller coaster ride of plotting.

Roller coasters are built to have a giant drop at the very beginning. They start with a rush. Maybe have a slow, frightening build to the promised drop – click, click, click as the carts climb higher and higher. Then BANG. Off to the races.

Later, there are slower parts to build tension again, and twists and turns, but the opening is a huge rush to put the rider into the roller coaster experience, removing people from their ordinary lives and investing them in the ride.

Genre fiction – science fiction, fantasy, urban fantasy, mystery, even romance – the start of the story is to introduce the rider to the ride and remove them from their ordinary lives. It should never slow down to a complete stop. Information sharing should be short and sweet, followed by a quick snap turn left and right into dialogue or action.

Build your plot like a roller coaster and remember to start the ride with immersion.