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(This post is a fanfic of It’s a Southern Thing video by the same name (2019 January 29) – links provided below)

Diana racks the hangers back and forth in frustration. “What should I wear?!?” She turns on her husband, “Kevin, what should I wear?”

Kevin jumps and gets a deer-in-headlight look, “Oh, sorry. Didn’t … um.” He holds the black pants, blue polo, and white socks he just pulled out of his dresser. “Um… Anything will be fine. You always look amazing.”

“Red dress,” she yanks out a pink flowing dress decorated with red flowers, then another one with simpler lines of navy with light blue and yellow swirls starting at the hems and working their way up in a pattern of flowing leaves, “or navy?”

Think Kevin, think. Input Required. “What is Susan going to wear? She’s hosting right?”

“Thank you.” Diana responds firmly putting back the pink flower dress. “You are absolutely right. Susan will be doing pink or red. She always does.”

Behind her, Kevin shudders in relief and triumph. A few seconds to shuffle into the bathroom will get him to safety.

“So navy dress or the yellow and black pant suit?” Diana holds each outfit against her body.

“I don’t know.” He tries dropping his voice so it didn’t sound whiny or panicked, but inside he is sweating. All he needed would be for her to start asking if either made her look fat. When all he could think of is the date nights she wore those outfits. Suddenly, inspiration hits. “What jewelry do you want to wear?”

“Oh, I hadn’t even thought about that.” His wife moves over to her jewelry desk, vanity, whatever she called it.

Beating feet to the bathroom, he assures her before closing the door. “Love you, honey.”

“Love you too, hon.” Leaks through the thin door of the primary bathroom.

***

Diana shakes her head at her husband’s escape. He did better than normal with advice for helping her get ready; she didn’t understand why he has so much trouble picking out outfits for her. She has no problems doing the reverse.

Laying the outfits on the bed, Diana runs her fingers along her earring choices. Both of the outfits have a high-ish neckline so she would be going with her favorite chocker, but what earrings? Maybe that …. Oh, wait. Those gold peacocks. Where had she buried them? In the third drawer she opens, she finds a beat-up pair of glasses.

“The hubby-vision. I forgot I had these.”

“What honey?” comes through the bathroom door, along with some noisy banging, like metal on metal.

“Nothing.” Diana calls back.

What in tarnation was he doing in there?

“Let’s see what outfit looks best to him.” She slides on the glasses. On the bed are two plain black outfits, one dress and a top with pants. “Really?” She tucks the glasses on top of her head and they return to the navy and gold & black clothes. “Well, now I know why he can’t help.”

She holds each up in front of her in the mirror. When was the last time she wore these? Church in late March for the navy, and the black and gold pant suit had been a work Christmas party. No overlap between the work Christmas party and this one, so the pant suit it is. She tosses the navy dress on the chair to be put away when they get back. A monogramed sweater would be a great accessory for the dress. She needed to get a bright blue one to match the swirls, or maybe a yellow one. She makes a mental note to pick one up next time she went clothes shopping.

Diana steps into the pant suit, zipping it into place. Next she adds a bit of sparkle to her update her day makeup for the party. Afterwards, she starts a concerted search for the earrings through her vanity. Under the clay bracelet her son made in kindergarten, she discovers the gold peacock earrings. Taking the glasses off her head and laying them beside her perfumes, she styles her hair into a messy bun, bringing some strands down to curl against her neck.

Does that bring too much attention to her chin? Leaning forward, Diana studies her reflection. She needed to touch up her hair color; the roots weren’t showing yet, but the dye the stylist uses didn’t stick to gray hair very well. The wrinkles at the corners of her eyes … nothing could help them, but the maybe if she stays away from bright lights.

Picking up the glasses to put them away, since Kevin did not need to get ahold of them, Diana decides to pop them on for one last look at herself in the mirror.

“Oh my, that can’t be right.”

She stands and moved to the full-length mirror. She had thought she would see herself in plain black clothes, like when the outfit had been on the bed.

Reaching up, she lowers the glasses from her to doublecheck the reflection. Yep, the mirror still showed her being her, then she put them back on.

“Is that how he actually sees me?”

The most beautiful woman she has ever seen faced her in the mirror. The pant suit hugged her curves like toddlers. While messy, the bun appears like the fall-out-of-bed Hollywood perfection mix of sexy and serious, with shining hair, colored like when they started dating.

She steps closer. While most of the vision resembles an idolized version of her when they first met, the wrinkles at the corner of her eyes remained. Diana has to turn her head sideways, and look out of the side of her eyes to get a good look, but the wrinkles could be seen. It is the weirdest effect. Each line radiating out from the eye danced with laughter. She wanted to stare at those hated lines all day; because to him, stupid, loving Kevin, each line is a joy he helped bring her and she returns back to him.

“Bless your heart,” she whispers at her reflection before taking off the glasses and tucking them back into her vanity next to the clay bracelet.

Behind her, she hears the bathroom door open and the muffled footsteps of her husband on the carpeted floor.

“Hey honey, I got the drip fixed.”

Diana closes her eyes a moment, shaking her head, before opening them again. “You need to change your shirt.”

“Oh, did I make a mess?” Kevin glances down and rubs a dirty hand on the polo.

“Wash your hands first then change.”

“Okay.” Her husband cheerfully goes into the bathroom. Two of his work tools remain on the floor and a small puddle. But when he turned on the hot water, no creaking occurred. No hiss of air with a sudden gush of water splashing into the sink. Instead, the water flowed smoothly; she even could see a slight steam rising from the hot water. A few squirts of soap and a wipe on his monogrammed hand towel cleaned the grime off.

Kevin showed her his hands palm first and then flipped them over, like he is one of their kids. Diana nods her approval, paying more attention to the sink. He had turned it off once done, and now she waits for the drip.

Under her breath she counts to twenty.

“You really fixed it!”

Spinning, she sees him with his dirty shirt off, the polo tossed on top of the navy dress like it is the dirty laundry pile, and his new shirt in his hands. For a second, and for always, he is the most amazing man she has ever seen. And she is married to him. She has him all to herself. “I love you.”

(words 1279; first published 11/29/2023)

Linked videos from It’s a Southern Thing YouTube Channel

“If Women Had ‘Hubby-Vision.’” 2019 January 29. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nllrCss2CU

“When You Get Distracted Easily.” 2021 January 19. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h8VkRKT9eA