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Book Review: The Malaise Falchion

Amazon Cover

The Malaise Falchion by Paul Barrett

BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON

“There are a hundred thousand stories in Mage City. The best ones start with a woman. Or a fight. Mine starts with a fight about a woman.”

Thus begins the tale of legendary Dwarven Warrior turned disgraced drunken Dwarven Private Investigator Snazdaggin Kundarik (Spade to his friends, when he can find any). Once a proud warrior, Spade found disgrace during the Demon War and now spends his days searching for a desk to sleep on, a bottle of grog to drink, and a simple case to pay the rent.

But nothing is ever simple in Mage City, and when a gorgeous elf walks in with legs that go all the way down to the floor, Spade finds himself embroiled in a case that is much, much more than he bargained for. Intrigue, powerful magic, family drama, and a quest for a world-rending magical weapon are far outside Spade’s usual case work, but that’s right where he’s found himself now.

With a hangover the size of a red dragon, Spade and his faithful lizardperson sidekick Crizlyk will battle forces far above their weight class just to stay alive, all to answer one burning question –

Can he stay alive long enough to save the world, get paid, and buy another bottle of grog?

The Malaise Falchion is a gritty fantasy noir parody blend of Dungeons & Dragons with the classic pulp mysteries of Dashiell Hammett.

 

MY REVIEW

As a parody detective noir set in a fantasy world, this one isn’t the full mouse. Instead it works better was a straight-up fantasy detective series with humor laced throughout. Not quite the Garrett, PI series by Glen Cook – but then few things are – but could be put on the same shelf.

A good addition to the fantasy detective genre; high fantasy is way behind urban fantasy in providing us those that solve the crime with a flask of whiskey in a pocket, a wand in the holster, and a flutter as the client.

All the tropes you want from legwork, to brawls. Helpful office assistant, to old war buddy along for the ride. Too much drinking, to flying dragons. Race relations to class structure issues. All in one delightful ball.

Not the absolute best of the genre (Glenn Cook taking first place) but in the top five.

Flash: Apollo’s Fall

Photo from Unsplash

Apollo finally approached close enough to make out the sentry guarding the bridge across the Cut. Surprisingly, it was a girl, well, woman full grown but without armor or reasonable weapons. Clothed only in colorful gaze she leaned on a walking stick thin enough her slight weight bent it, although when he came within shouting distance, she lifted it to hold it sideways, completely blocking the rough wooden bridge behind her.

Her stance mimicked that of a fighter, with the confidence of one expecting to win.

The mercenary searched the barren sandy wasteland either side of the Cut for the source of the confidence. Flat land, little thorny shrubs, and one woman and one bridge among a whole lot of nothing.

“Papers please,” a pleasant alto asked, once he was within easy speaking range, holding out one hand.

That was one thing Apollo’s employers could not provide, because papers, the type capable of passing the scrutiny of the Gorge Centettes, required official governmental approval and what he needed to do on the Leopard Horde side of the Cut could never be officially noticed. He passed her paper denominations marked in Elven Leaves instead, worth more than his initial downpayment for his task, though not as much as he would receive upon completion.

The sentry raised an eyebrow, fanning the paper with one hand before tucking the money into a pocket in her flowing skirts. Apollo took a step forward, but she put out her hand again, this time with a smirk, “Papers please.”

“I just gave—”

“A donation, for which we thank you, but crossing here requires papers from the Elfwives or the Spotted Khan. Our oath before our gods requires obedience to the contract.”

“I don’t have any damn papers.” Apollo growled. “That money could have bought a dozen perfect counterfeits. Just step aside before I got to hurt you.”

She laughed, resting her staff once more on the sand right before the first wooden plank.

If he rushed her, she would fall the mile into the Cut.

“One, no counterfeit ever works here.” Her beautiful features hardened as she regripped her thin wooden staff with her left hand. “Two, fuck around and find out.” With her right, she waved toward the unseen Middle Sea. “Might I recommend the Horn route? If you need water to help with the journey, I can provide two-days worth which should get you to Fire Falls without issue.”

He had started in a seaport, but going around the Horn took over a month, especially considering where the nearest port was to his final destination, whereas jumping the Cut at the Diplomatic Shake Crossing would only take four days, the first three already used.

“Ah hell,” Apollo drew his hand and a half sword. Forty inches of steel lethality.

The sentry smiled, dragging her comically thin quarterstaff in a line in the sand from one support rail of the narrow bridge to the other, stepping aside once she completed the mark. “Well, if you insist.” Now using her right hand, she waved him over the bridge.

He narrowed his eyes. “I do.” Was all this posturing? Did the Centettes, supposedly the world’s most elite force who lived in caves within the Gorge, really just bluff their way through everything? He stepped on the wooden bridge, then turned to face her. She could push him off as easily has he could have pushed her.

He slowly backed across the bridge. No raised sides or hand rails meant the hot winds rising from the red blood of the world wound a mile below made the action tricky. She remained on the Elfwives United Paths side of the bridge. Once he was half-way, just as he was about to turn and run the rest of the way across, the sentry raised her hand. That was it. She just raised her hand.

He turned around and discovered three women with crossbows rising from the barren wasteland, sand rolling in waves off their cloaks. Apollo was dead before he hit the lava.

(words 676, first published 6/4/2023)

Magical Words: Less is More

Photo by Laura Kapfer on Unsplash

ConCarolinas starts tomorrow, and I will be at the Mothership helping sell Falstaff Books or at panels learning how to write, edit, and sell books, because I want to make a career of this crazy business. Selling, of course, is the key. I can create forever, but to be a career, I need to make money at that. And like most authors, selling isn’t my strong suit.

But John G. Hartness is great, not only at selling, but explaining how selling works. In the March 7, 2016 Magical Words post, “Making Money Mondays – Less is More”, he explains how to pitch a book when hand-selling at a convention. (URL – http://www.magicalwords.net/john-hartness-2/making-money-mondays-less-is-more/)

Most writers jump into a long description, but people at a con are there to buy and buy a lot, so they need to buy quickly and move on to the next table. One needs to remember, you aren’t TELLING them a story, you want to make them PAY for it. Elevator pitch.

For example – Honestly, a novella erotic romance between a single mother and her landlord’s son. A Stella Gets Her Grove Back moment. (Honestly by Erin Penn is available on Amazon, by the way.)

Does that sound like something you want to read. Then pick it up on Amazon. Again, the URL is: https://www.amazon.com/Honestly-Erin-Penn-ebook/dp/B00CLJCW9K.

And that is an example of SELLING the story instead of TELLING the story.

Come by ConCarolina is you are in the North Carolina area Friday or Saturday (or Sunday, though I’ll be at the post office that day, *sob*) and buy some books. We’ll love to see you.

Gardening: Litter Collection

If you follow me on Facebook, you know I have been collecting litter for a while. My neighborhood is located between three bus stops (including the secondary city depot), a Walmart, a 7-11, several fast food joints, a couple strip malls, and an old seventies rundown shopping center (which is so run-down the Goodwill moved out to a better location). It’s a delightful mixed community in the residential area, but we get a LOT of blown trash.

My goal is to collect a bag a day, but when I started the post office job, I fell behind – like nine months behind. December of last year, and now January and February of this year I have started “Make-my-life-cleaner”, with the initial focus on catching up on the litter in my neighborhood and the emails.

In March, I finished catching up on the litter. The LITTER DUMP SAGA I posted on Facebook is as follows (with a few precursor posts):

12/7/2019

Collected 12 bags of litter today in the neighborhood. Figure I got about 24 bags to go.

3/28/2020

Collected 10 bags of litter today – caught up on a bag a day!

8/11/2020 – Started with the post office and no longer physically able to collect litter regularly. I will need to build back my strength. The flip side is the litter collection made me fit enough to make the post office package delivery job possible.

12/7/2020

Bored staying at home? Have a pick-up-litter day anywhere. Take a walk on a nature trail, walk your neighborhood, visit a favorite restaurant/shopping center, clean up a park, walk the main street or public facilities.

Just a bag or two. Trust me, it never takes long.

12/27/2022

Yep, got this reaction while picking up litter in the neighborhood.

STARTING THE LITTER DUMP SAGA FOR 2023 HERE

2/7/2023

Just did my part in making the neighborhood better by reporting three dumps of mattresses within two blocks of my house in no-man-lands between properties. Hopefully they will disappear in the next couple of weeks. Annoyed at the police who regularly patrol the area and should have reported them for removal, but that might not be part of their duties. Finger-crossed the squeaky wheel gets oiled.

Last time I complained a few years ago, it was taken care of within a day. But then that was abandoned saw blades from utility work next to a school bus stop and I could add “child endangerment” to the “public nuisance” complaint.

I collect litter regularly (average a bag a day in my neighborhood), but the mattresses are just too big to stuff into my trashcan.

COMMENT from friend A: Glad you reported it. I am angry people dumped it. They are just making it someone else’s problem. If they have transport to dump the mattresses in your neighborhood, they have transport to take them to the dump.

MY RESPONSE: I’m betting the first set (three together) was someone thinking they could donate used mattresses to the Kidney foundation across the street, not knowing it is against the law to sell used mattresses and they didn’t want to take them home. That is the group that really annoys me because it is right there on a busy road. And there has been two trash days since, but did anyone in the public sector send it upstream for fixing? I don’t know.

COMMENT from friend B: If you add the words “potentially impeding traffic,“ it will get cleaned up a lot faster.

2/7/2023

The city sent me a copy of the “notice of violation” – the code is against the “accumulation of scrap on premises”. The city ordinance requires storage within a building to “minimize dangers”. The property owner of the undeveloped acres will be informed. I bet they are used to it because about every six months they chop down the vegetation encroaching on the road. Yes the three dump sites are owned by the same person, it’s a wooded area meandering through the neighborhood. They have 10 days before penalties.

It’s hard to find the balance between letting people live their lives and making sure you can also live yours. Considering how much trash I pick up that gets blown into that area, I don’t feel too bad getting government involved in the ask for clean up.

2/13/2023

LITTER DUMP SAGA (Post 3)

The two biggest dump sites are both still there. But today I went down the hill collecting litter, something I like to do on Monday while all the trash cans are out so I don’t have to haul it back up the hill, and the smallest site was clear. That is the only site not actually “owned” by anyone, it is a little corner that doesn’t meet the neat rectangles of home-ownership plots for city taxes. I guess the city owned that one and took away that particular mattress and two tires (the tires have been a staple there for at least four years, I shall miss them … in the “I could care less” emotion, it is possible to care less, but not easily).

The sites actually owned are still a mess – though I have collected the small litter, just to be fair so the absentee owner just has to haul away the big stuff, not spend time collecting the easy-to-transport trash. The officials have a little sign posted of “notice”.

So, if you own property you don’t visit often, be sure to have someone in the area willing to do a quick looksee every week – for dumpsters and for notices.

For those who are like “why doesn’t someone fix this?”, well, already one of the squeaky wheels I presented have been fixed. If you only talk about these things – or post about them – things don’t get fixed. You got to actually get involved. I know it is work, but I think I will smile every time I go by the place that had the abandoned tires for unknown number of years. Because, that is where I made the world a little better.

Wayfaring road signs falling down (the ones with road names on them), report them, stop signs faded, report them, … your tax dollars at work, make them work!

Also note, in some cases, know you don’t need to wait for someone else to fix things, you can fix them on your own. Be aware of property rights and community property (like the Stop Sign and Wayfaring) and figure what you legally can fix and what you need help from a bigger picture.

Take care of yourself first, your kin and clan next, then community.

2/14/23

LITTER DUMP SAGA 4

Still waiting on the property owner to clear things, but it has only been a week from the complaint.

In the meantime, I have accomplished a long-term litter clean-up project. That windstorm in late December which damaged my roof also threw a lot of trash around the area.

Normally I average a bag of trash a day on litter pickup in my neighborhood. This has been going on for years (at least four), but then four dumpsters and two major shopping centers bring a lot of trash with them. When I took the post office job, I slowed down. Couldn’t physically do both; only these past few months have I physically brought myself up to doing litter collection and post office within a day of each other. I got over nine months behind on the “one a day” while building my strength, which doesn’t make catch-up easy.

You think that other people would take up the slack, but it is so constant, even someone picking up a little once isn’t enough.

Today I collected 18 bags along the South axis of my intersection up to one block away … finally completing the cleanup along that axis after a month and a half of work. I’m also now less than two months behind on the “one bag a day”.

Whoot whoot getting that mess done. I’m close to done along another axis. Fingers crossed I can get West done before the end of the week. I didn’t do all of one at a time, just whichever I thought I could attack in the time I got in the morning before going to day-job taxes. South and West were the two axiis slammed by the windstorm.

35 days of catch-up and three axiis to go. I think I got this.

2/18/23

LITTER DUMP SAGA 5

Still nothing on the property owner moving things front. We got a long weekend (President’s Day is Monday) – Tuesday will be time’s up on the Notice. Tuesday will also be the neighborhood’s trash day, so fingers crossed the eyesore will be removed next week.

The trash pile is different from the neat stack I put it in for quick pickup because of the winds with yesterday rains. For those of you who think, oh, how bad is trash REALLY? Well, the Southern axis previously fully cleared as of three days ago (Saga 4 posting) — I collected seven new bags of trash today along that axis. At a “bag a day,” that axis alone had a week’s worth after one itty-bitty rain and wind day.

And today I managed to finish the Western axis, even with the additional hassle of the wind. Two axiis are complete, two to go. Can I get one done next week? I got a lot to do, so it would be a challenge.

Final report for this part of the Litter Saga. I have completely caught up on the “one-a-day” goal. COVID I-don’t-want-to-do-anything and postal work combined to make me fall nine months behind. I am now actually ahead. With two axiis yet to finish clearing. Maintenance, as shown by yesterday’s wind, is at least a bag-a-day, so I’m going to get way ahead if I finish clearing things.

The Eastern axis will be the final big project. There was a house taken down along it, and the old renters had a lot of trash in their backyard. While the demolitions removed the house, they didn’t clear out the trash. I will work on the Northern axis first – it has some “upscale” businesses – a funeral home and a bank – so they send out someone every so often to clean things on those properties. The rest of it needs work (fast food, a bar, and a cell phone provider make up the balance of the businesses, mixed in with several residential properties), but North shouldn’t take long to get in order.

2/23/23

LITTER DUMP SAGA 6

They picked up the mattresses! Like right now!!! while I was collecting the new trash that gathered around them.

On Tuesday, I gathered the litter around the auction house – it is on the Western axis that I finished clearing last week – to see just how much is produced when it is open on Friday/Saturday. The answer is five grocery bags. So, yeah, there is that. Just that location produces a week’s worth of litter.

It is a part-time auction house in a run-down shopping center that hasn’t had a facelift lift since it was built in the 60’s … only patches. We are talking cut rate maintenance and rents and disinterested ownership, plus the second bus depot for the city. If I want trash not to blow into my yard from that location (and it is the prevailing winds, so that is where a good percentage of the trash in my yard comes from) then I just need to pick it up every Monday/Tuesday before it disperses.

I finished the Northern axis yesterday, leaving only the Eastern axis with the empty lot full of hidden trash. That empty lot is really annoying to get to – If I could cut between the fence in the NE corner of my yard, I would be there in one house. But because of fencing, I have to go down the East axis, turn North and then walk nearly the entire other side of the block. It is about as far as I can get from my house and still be on the same block of residential properties, yet diagonally, we are neighbors – which means when the wind blows from the not prevailing way, all that trash starts migrating to me. It needs to go.

One more axis!

2/27/23

LITTER DUMP SAGA 7

Well, I spoke too soon. They took away the BIG pile of six mattresses, but the furthest pile, the singleton plus recliner and TV stand are still there. I’ll ding the city again after I move the recliner and stand closer to the mattress. The trash guys the city sends only gets the stuff closest to the street. The half-burned, nearly stripped mattress of the big pile is still there even after I specifically mentioned it to one of the guys while I was collecting trash. That is a project for another day.

Today is Monday so I am taking advantage of all the trash cans at the curb. There was a pile of a broken down table and chair at an apartment building for two weeks, and one nearby trashcan was empty so I just loaded it up.

Also working on the Tear-Down Lot – got the two blankets dragged to the curb and then found a half-filled trashcan to get rid of them, but a hamper – one of those huge rolling things – is now on the TDL, filled with half-destroyed fiberglass insulation. Guess someone is fixing a house and abandoned the materials there instead of paying for a dumpster (sigh).

Related, my grabber – so I don’t have to bend down all the time – has broken. Handle snapped today. This is my second one since moving here. The first one lasted about a year. This one lasted four or five … way past the manufacturing specifications for numbers of times used and the amount picked up. The “suckers” on the end have been gone since the Before Times.

I have two grabbers for around the house use. Off to figure out which one is more sturdy and longer (less bending – more reachie).

3/1/2023

LITTER DUMP SAGA 8

I did it – all cleaned up!!!

Monday, I hauled 32 grocery bags from the torn-down house lot. Tuesday, I did a pass on the first three axiis – the auction house had 13 bags this week, the southern axis gathered three matching the northern axis three. I swung by the TDL and got another six – the final along the wall shared with the bank where people drop things while at the ATM … so much litter.

Today, I finished the Eastern axis with another eleven bags. The mattress is still there waiting. I decided not to report it again because the neighbor next to it was putting together a pile of their own “large household goods” and said the city will be coming by next Monday for his stuff. But believe me, come Tuesday, if the mattress is still there, another report will be sent in.

The hamper is the only eyesore left at the TDL – the neighbor there is moving pieces into his trash as his container has room. I will help find homes in the partially filled trash cans as time permits on Mondays.

Right now my can is completely full, but closeable. No more litter collection this week for me. I’m now two and a half months ahead on the bag-a-day.

Left to do is the follow-up on the Abandoned Mattress and the Fiberglass Filled Hamper, and then maintenance in the neighborhood going forward. I could expand, but, really, I just want to take a fifteen-minute walk per day. The litter gives me an added incentive to get some daylight movement in each day.

Today’s new city report was on a developing pot hole. Be interesting to see the follow-up on that. It is a big dip, now cracking the pavement after the winter freeze-melt cycle (yes, we do get a bit in the south, not much, but enough) combined with the fact the road isn’t build for the dumpster trucks that run up and down it.

Next on the get my world cleaned up is back to the emails (down to 4K from 12K) and taking down branches for the spring.

3/6/2023

LITTER DUMP SAGA 9

Today being a Monday, I decided to pick up all the litter while the trash containers are out.

30 bags later, maintenance for the week is done for the neighborhood. Only three bags from the auction house this week, but that is because I refused to get close to the overflowing, overstacked, and piles-either-side dumpster. They get a week to fix that.

The Auction house dumpsters

Still waiting on the last mattress to be taken away. Fingers crossed today is the day, otherwise tomorrow is a complaint. Someone moved the recliner closer to the mattress, so hopefully both will be taken away.

The new grabber, replaced on 2/27/2023, has already broken. Nine days. Starting my last grabber. I don’t have high hopes of it lasting long since it had a “break” in the middle so it can be folded in half for mailing and storage. That weakpoint is going to give way at some point. I’ll need to pick up a replacement soon. I like to have one on hand at all times.

For the spring cleaning outside the house, I’ve picked up sticks and trimmed the branches on the front trees. This week will be the back trees and trying to convince my jungle to stop annexing my neighbor’s yard through vines and runners sent out from the bushes and the wisteria.

THE MATTRESS PILE THAT JUST WON’T GO AWAY – Mattress, two tires, a recliner, an organ, and several other things.

3/6/2023

LITTER DUMP SAGA 10
The mattress pile was still there after 5:00 pm. Complaint time!

Since I was in the website anyway, I did it ALL: the mattress pile, the overflowing dumpsters at the auction house, the area behind the kidney store donation where they are leaving sofas and mattresses beside their dumpster for weeks without them being taken away, the abandoned rug that the cut-rate shopping center still hasn’t removed after three weeks for the parking lot in an area not associated with their tenant-stores, and the trash behind the area where the old Goodwill store use to be before they decided the shopping center was too cut-rate even for them. The city complaint department will be busy tomorrow.

Yes, I live in the “bad” section of town, but that doesn’t mean we need to look trashy. Most of it is just the cut-rate shopping center not doing their job keeping their tenants in line. All the residents in the area thank me when seeing me out there cleaning up. They want to live better.

The Rug
The Kidney Store not cleaning up around their dumpsters
The old Goodwill trash

3/20/2023

LITTER DUMP SAGA 11
The Mattress Pile That Just Won’t Go Away … has gone away!!!! The city even dug out the broken organ and the wrapped fencing. A beautiful greenway is visible from the street. Now, the ongoing task will be collect three bags of trash per week and slowly turn this green space into “untouched” nature again. I picked up six grocery bags of bottles today in that area. I’m not going to devote too much energy, because this beautiful greenway area is just waiting for a developer to drop a half dozen homes on it. Since it has a creek running through it, I’m betting the waterway requirements is the holdup. It would be a lovely area to develop into a hiking trail and park, but there is no way with the housing boom we got in this neighborhood since they recently build a stadium two miles away. Another five years, max, before that land gets sold to a builder.

Another mattress showed up over the weekend where the big pile had been, but the city grabbed it today. If I hadn’t been picking up litter due to the windstorm, I wouldn’t have even noticed another dump. This would be another reason the land will be sold; the owner has got to hate all the dumping on his land.

The Fiberglass Filled Hamper behind the church got my focused attention this week. I dragged two large fiberglass tunnels up the hill to my personal can, which nearly filled it, leaving room for just a couple bags of home-generated trash this week. And a house about half a block away from the hamper had an empty can today (Monday-trash-day), so I transferred several loads over there. And then another couple houses had half-full containers, so all the small boxes got thrown out too. All that is left is the dilapidated, half-rotten hamper. Hopefully the guy who lives next to the church will take care of that since I’m not really set up to break the thing down into small enough bits to fit into a trash can so it can be taken away.

In other news, the overflowing dumpster was cleared, the area behind the old goodwill had a going over (the recliner is missing and the trash is much less), the mattress and sofas by the kidney store are gone plus the kidney store now has two dumpsters … only thing remaining from the 3/6 website “I want to report…” moment is the abandoned rug. I don’t know the city leaned on the shopping center or the individual stores, but my complaint seems to have worked. Remember, the squeaky wheel does get oiled. Use city services to your advantage to make you life better. Just fifteen minutes of my time fixed several eyesores and made my neighborhood a much more pleasant place to live.

But also, doing grunt work for those things I can do on my own helps. Between yesterday and today, I collected 31 grocery bags of trash, and I didn’t actually complete any of the axiis this week. The windstorm paper trash left a wide mark, but is nearly under control now.

Ongoing goals: Get the Rug gone, get the Hamper gone, Tear Down lot has some last bits of rusted metal buried in a leaf pile that needs a couple trips of attention, work on the Greenway-Waiting-On-A-Developer (if only because of the surface water stream – Gastonia gets all of its water from surface water, just like Charlotte – controlling storm water and surface water for trash is a major safety issue), and, of course, ongoing maintenance.

I’m thinking the maintenance might include clearing some of the storm drain entrances along a road which is constantly flooding. Dirt and grass has built up on the grates. Again storm water feeds the surface water which feeds our homes.

Flash: Words on a Wall

The Pinkas Synagogue located in Prague, Czech Republic, serves as a memorial to the victims of the Holocaust

where the names of 77,297 Czech Jewish victims during Nazi occupation are written on the synagogues walls.

Chapter 1

“Director Allegra, would you be available to come topside?” appeared in Holly’s direct message queue from Dr. Kateryna Senko. She and her assistants rotated who covered the museum floor, usually the most boring duty at the Memory of the Fallen. Few people visited her obscure little monument to humanity’s long history of wars.

The ancient curator shifted back in her chair, the furniture sinking and adjusting to her new position.

If visitors do make it all the way back to True Earth, instead of the virtual tour available through the Federation’s dataspace, they usually did it on credentials like the four researchers from Nuevo Rio Grande using the archives today, swinging by her museum on the way in or out from a dig. Holly DMed Winona that she was needed upstairs. These researchers were more the assistant’s baby anyway, newly returned from the Nuevo Lardo dig and the mass graves quietly filled for years from the Processing Center’s sweat chambers leading into the Third World War, a particular passion of Dr. Wildman. If the researchers and Winona could match enough of the names of the missing transients recorded in the NRG genealogies to the skeletons from the pit graves, the Memory of the Fallen would have a new wall next week.

Winona sent her a shooing meme.

Nodding, to answer Winona, and doing a quick finger sweep to send a dataspace DM to Kat to let the woman know she was on her way up. Holly reached for her cane. Today her pain flared, hips, knees, and ankles. A message to the chair helped lift her to her feet; a quick rearranging of medbots fixed her problematic balance, though she didn’t trust them to fail her so she keep her cane at the ready. She hobbled to the lift.

She had sat too long.

But she was as interested as the rest of the group to give names to the Fallen.

The Asclepius app recommended upping the pain blockers, and loathed as she was to depend on them, she swiped acceptance when the pings arrived. Her museum customer service app dropped them into her queue when the lift doors closed. Upstairs two Federation Protectors waited.

And they wanted to speak to her.

Chapter 2

Following the living voices echoing through the Memory to the Fallen took practice, but Holly had nearly two hundred years within these walls, plus the dataspace let her cheat. They were located in the climate collapse section; those horrible years during World War Four before the Sasathapaka rescued humans from themselves.

“Sentient beings,” the museum curator clasped her hands together in the Sasathapaka manner in welcome. “I regret the wait, but these old limbs do not move fast.”

The two visitors dressed in government gray skinsuits with the color dot pattern of Federation Protectors running in the stripe down the left side. The one on the alien was about as wide as Holly’s two thumbs side-by-side, while the human’s was barely wide enough to make the pattern discernable. Not that it mattered; their info tags screamed their credentials in dataspace.

Holly accepted the info transfer just to turn off the pressure. Most of it matched what the pings she had unwoven on the way up provided. Only difference was her particular searches – the Sasathapaka, according to her ping, attended human and Idrytis orchestrations whenever traveling off Paka. On world, it had season tickets to a local music chambers hall as well as the expected Federation Chambers one of its stature must have to meet social requirements. The human collected a few datacaptures during the required primary education virtual tours and never erased them from his database, but nothing since he entered the Protector training program. Pity he let his interest in art lapse; skinsuits leave little to the imagination, and she could see the side-eye Kat gave the man. Protectors would have brains, but it’s art that make one human.

“Understandable, ancient one.” The Sasathapaka’s translator spoke from the utility harness covering the top of their long body, as well as direct message the meaning to her conversation queue. “Your swimmate was explaining the purpose of the words on the walls. They are like reef memory singers, but no voice.”

“Yes, Protector, humans work best with visual reminders, as your people work best with audial ones.” The curator directed the floor to bring up benches for her and the visitors. Kat stepped alongside the nearest wall, blending into the background with a few quick lighting adjustments. Good girl. “May I offer you refreshment?” she asked as she eased down on her bench. Transitions when her joints acted up added a level of terror in social situations, but she managed to sit without falling this time.

“I cannot partake, apologies.” The alien indicated the full face and digit covering of its skinsuit, human atmosphere far to dry and thin for the water world being. Its human companion indicated simple water through a DM.

Holly pulled her customer service module, and DMed Dr. Senko her requirements, including a request for visinada for herself. Her fellow curator stepped around a wall to process the customer service routine datadump that just landed in her queue.

While waiting, Holly activated the sound dampeners for the alien’s comfort and arranged her dark green sud around her.

While most humans, especially shipboard, wore only skinsuits, Holly preferred a full-length sud over her ebony skinsuit, and her assistants followed her lead. Best to leave the impact of age to the imagination. Kateryna’s sud always swirled with bright blue and yellow on the flowing cloth with a red trim of pysanky-style patterns along the lines of her arms and legs, matching her red skinsuit. Below, Winona’s sud consisted of a pattern of seashells; other days she wore suds appearing to be made from feathers, beads, or mud, depending on her mood. Unlike most, she spent discretionary income on extra skinsuits, in patterns varying from optical illusions to planetary topography, though a simple turquoise was her normal choice at work.

When Kat returned with a tip-tray, she offered each person containers according to the instructions Holly had dumped on her. The human male, being the lowest rank present, received his glass of water plus a small cup of fish flakes. Confused at the extra dish, he set it down on the side table which had just risen beside his seat. Kat then placed a hot cup, likely hot cocoa based on the small bowl of marshmallows she set beside it, on the table beside the chair Holly had called up for her while she had been gone.

Dr. Kateryna Senko then approached her, sending a DM saying this ranking was wrong, and gave Holly her cherry drink and wafers. While Senko tipped the tray to show her the final two objects, Holly highlighted the portion of the datadump explaining the Sasathapaka tradition of serving the highest ranked guest last, even if the hostess outranked them, even if the visitor was unwanted, in deference of their using their valuable time to visit. For the audience, she nodded at Kat to complete the hospitality ritual indicating she, as the hostess, thought the offering was acceptable for guests.

The alien picked up the glass and swirled the cloudy liquid. Agitated, the supersaturated solution crystalized a salt matrix around the edge, drawing a sharp sound the translator did not process into words but dataspace indicated as pleasure surprise similar to human laughter. It placed the glass on the stand beside its bench. The Sasathapaka picked up the final bowl, and discovered within a granite stone shaped like an egg about the size of a human fist.

“Why, thank you!” the translator indicated delight as the alien dumped the stone into its hands.

Sasathapaka ancient, ancient ancestors filled a niche in their ecosystem similar to otters and beavers, if Earth river creatures could be transcribed onto the Paka sea world, like humans shared ancestors with monkeys before the climate collapse killed their distant cousins. The food ritual of welcome served a secondary purpose of putting things into their mobile hands, something they psychologically needed. Holly figured out this workaround to the cultural ritual shortly after opening the museum when she still got officials visiting all the time and shared it with the museum community. While it had leaked into the greater human community, where she seen it offered in some alien courtesy course, most humans preferred to keep their interaction with aliens, especially their “overlords”, the Sasathapaka, to a minimum.

At four generations or more from the last war, most humans had forgotten the debt they owed the aliens. Certainly, they wouldn’t have rescued humans if humanity’s machines hadn’t reached Alpha Centauri with that scattershot swarm launched a year before the war started, making us officially an interstellar species and therefore an automatic member of the Federation. The Federation gave every species a chance to fail to leave its crib, humanity squeaked by on a technicality. Two more years and there wouldn’t have been anything to rescue except the twelve people living on Mars.

And now humans were talking again about war. Holly didn’t appreciate Mr. Arnold and his assistant Penny yesterday rubbing her face in the fact that peace would soon be replaced. Two hundred years hadn’t taken the fight out of humanity.

The Protector juggled the stone between its hands, admiring the sparkles from the mica flakes while the three humans sipped their drinks and nibbled their food. The food was an over and above on required hospitality. Even the lowest ranked Sasathapaka offered salt transfer, snacks though were required of the uchch and a full meal by the behatar before business could be conducted. By offering a small portion of food, Holly placed her rank at uchch, equal to the Protector, or at least a doosara putting on airs. Normally among humans, still the youngest species in the Federation, only a planetary governor would dare be so bold.

Holly learned long ago always shoot for the stars. That is where dreams can come true.

Realizing she had been negligent, she pulled up her customer service manuals and transferred copies to her assistants with the meeting tag to review them in three rotations before the museum opened for the day. Holly stared at her special customer app, then copied it to the two as well.

Chapter 3

When the human male finished his drink, the Sasathapaka placed its rock on the side table.

Holly’s research-level dataspace reported an exchange of direct messages between the gray-suited officials. Likely they saw the datadump she had just sent her assistants. Being Protectors, they may even been able to intercept the exchange. Oh well, at her age, she got things done when she thought of them. Who knows if she would wake up tomorrow.

“Thank you for the prasaad,” the human said. “Tejee se Tairana appreciates your welcome.”

“It is my pleasure and the pleasure of the Memory of the Fallen to host Tairana and his ghar.” Holly replied. “But all things pleasure must come to an end, and the time of effort must rise. How may I, Holly Allegra, doctor of memories and memorials, nineteenth among the Rescued, a bachaaya by grace, and my ghar help you?”

The human male blinked, clearly unused to high courtesy found among his partner’s species.

Holly felt her datatag get a full perusal, alien fingerprints all over it. That title of bachaaya would have done it. Nineteen hundred humans saved out of fourteen billion, and she had been one of the oldest among them then. Yes, Tejee, I got nearly a hundred years on you, bet you don’t meet many humans that can claim that. In fact, only sixteen bachaaya remained, and she was the only one in the system. Most of the Rescued ran hard and fast and far away from True Earth as they could when they got the chance.

Another quick exchange of data messages happened.

“Ancient one, we following the path walked by one Elfrid Arnold. Could you tell us about his visit with you?”

“Mr. Arnold visited us yesterday.” Holly sent a search request to Senko. “Let me dump you the record.” She limited the video from the moment he entered, to the moment he left and focused all the recording on him. The museum was a public place, so no expectation of privacy was expected within the hall.

“Thank you.” The man looked over at the masked alien, reading something in the body language instead of DMing. “Did you notice any unusual behavior? Dizziness?”

Senko shot a news brief of the Arnold CEO falling to his death at the New Earth Hospitality Suites.

“No.” Holly shook her head in the human manner. “He was belligerent, but that appeared to be a habit, not a health issue. He didn’t seem disoriented at all, nor did his son Napoleon. What has happened?”

“As you no doubt have found in the historic recording, Mr. Arnold managed to deactivate his UV protection and jumped from the thirty-four floor of the NEHs last night.”

“Oh dear,” Holly raised a hand up slowly, to not activate dataspace, touched her mouth and moved her hand away from her face, before dropping it to her lap. “How ever did he remove the shield?”

“It’s not possible during the day, but the Hospitality offers the option at night to better see the stars.” The man looked over at the alien again. “We understand he wanted to show his son Orion.”

The curator nodded. “That makes sense.”

The Sasathapaka long torso leaned forward. “Could you please explain?”

“Another name for Orion in mythology is ‘The Hunter.'” Holly suppressed a smirk. “Now I don’t think Mr. Arnold knew the full mythology of Orion; if he did, he would have been disappointed. But the mystique of a stellar hunter forever hunting the bull would have appealed to his worldview.”

“Thank you. I don’t understand your stargazing, but applying patterns to the dots, then giving greater meaning to those symbols, like these words on the walls. That is consistent with your species behavior. As a species, you have shown to value symbols more than your own lives.” The alien leaned back, spine twisting as it stood to face the human male. “We will next go to the restaurant.” The alien placed its hands together, words following from its harness, the DM indicating sincere gratitude. “The prasaad did your ghar proud. I will sing honors of the Memory of the Fallen and the words on the walls here.”

Holly stood, or tried to, and shot a DM to Senko who came over to act in her stead, pressing her hands together. Holly said, “May your voice remain strong, and the tides be in your favor.”

“Sir, if I may have a moment longer.” The human male asked, “These are the memories of my people and I would like to listen to them.”

The alien moved to the front door as a DM transmitted between the Protectors.

Chapter 4

Holly brought her wooden cane to between her legs and rested her head on top of the smooth handle. “Dr. Senko can show you around, if you have a particular name you are looking for.” She waved at the blue and yellow clad woman.

“Actually I have one more question to ask you, strictly off the record.”

“We are in a public space, nothing is off the record here.”

The man lips turned up at the edges, and not in an attractive way. “Nothing we have done here has been on the record.”

Holly pulled up the recordings and found even the Protectors’ entrance had been removed from the recordings.

“Fucking shit.” Kat said, discovering the same thing on her end. “How is that even possible?”

“Kat, go.” Holly ordered. “Downstairs. Now.”

“But.” Her assistant waved at Holly and DMed her ‘you can’t even stand up.’

‘thanks, I know. but this is above your ranking.’

‘he could do anything’ Kateryna rocked from side to side ‘we wouldn’t even know down there’

‘i’ve lived a long time, I think I got a few more hours in me. go, this isn’t for you’ Not yet. Maybe not even your generation, God willing.

Kat squeezed Holly’s hands where they rested on her cane, then made her way to the lift. While she did so, Holly returned the furniture to the floor and turned off the sound dampening. When the lift doors closing echoed through the hall and the only sound left was the two of them breathing, Holly sent the talk icon to the Protector.

“You know more than you are saying, director.”

“Name please.” Holly bounced the cane on the floor. “If you are going to stand on your own, I would like a name.” She indicated the walls around them. “I found them important.”

The male tipped his head. “Protector Scamp Holland.”

“And why do you think I know more that the video I sent?” She raised her eyebrows while looking up at him. “Everything is there.”

“Why do you think he died?”

Holly turned her cane handle back and forth, watching the movement. “Because he was annoying.”

“He was murdered.”

“Why do you think that?” The woman, unable to stand, asked the man hovering above her. Her voice full of a distant curiosity.

“He fell over thirty stories and didn’t splat.” Holland snorted. “There wasn’t a drop of blood in his body.”

“So this is a murder investigation?” Holly turned her cane handle again, “Strange to destroy all recordings.”

“No,” the Protector sighed, “True Earth doesn’t want the bad press; the Sasathapaka understand murder even less well than stargazing and words on a wall; and the Arnold group, now in the hands of Napoleon, has asked a quick resolution so the child can mourn the loss of his only parent.” He took a step back, running a hand through his hair. “Elrid Arnold had a dizzy spell, likely from the change of air pressure after releasing the UV shield, and fell over the edge. The NEPs will upgrade the walls on the balconies to prevent accidents like this in the future.”

“Sounds like an acceptable truth.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Holland’s nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply. “Someone is getting away with murder. There is a monster out there, and I’m going to have to let them walk.”

“Protector, if you will take some advice from a very old woman, sometimes we need the monsters.”

“Why?”

“Because war is worse than any monster, and sometimes humans forget that.”

(Words 3,085, first published 5/28/2023)

Undying Series
1. U is for Undying (4/24/2023)
2. Words on a Wall (5/28/2023)