Flash: Ship’s Center (Beep Part 2)

Photo by Hermes Rivera on Unsplash

Julius drew back from the edge where they stood questioning if flying, for even a single moment, to be truly Sky-Born, would be worth the fall. Their father and the surviving elders of the Sky-Fallen, outcast from the stars, shrieked no with every angry-betrayed breath and sobbed yes with every grief-filled long stare. Last Ra-cycle had been worse than most after their parent woke screaming, shuddering for hours in their arms, whispering about the blacker than black of Q space when eyes invented shapes and colors just to see something, dust within the vacuum where emptiness was both an illusion and a harsher reality than can be conceived, planets with snow and moons where people can see their breath and dance in the twilight between days, and most of all, the Endless. Each of the Sky-Fallen had stood where Julius had been standing and witnessed the eternity of the universe.

Until they could witness it no more.

Again, the unnatural sound interrupted the silence of the coffin of failed dreams.

Unsure if the change would bring hope or further nightmares, Julius followed the periodic beep into the third inner circle of the ship. Uncaring true gravity mocked the orientation of artificial pathways made to operate with centrifugal force making the travel challenging and convoluted. They slid down ladders still lit after forty years with a red glow, and used others to cross gulfs of hallways running vertical on the grounded ship. Deeper in the ship the natural light from the twin stars disappeared, making Julius grateful for the lighting mechanisms meant to shine for the generations it would take to cross space.

The outermost layer of the ship was barely different from the surrounding world because First Homes had been built from scavenged paneling initially, but integral bulkheads eventually became more of a trial to dismantle than using the abundant natural woods and stones to build shelters.

They reached center of ancient ship after a backtrack to avoid a Growler’s nest. Outside, Ra should have given way to Raet by now, and Julius was overdue for their chores. After waiting another count of thirty-seven, they narrowed the source on the bridge to the communications module.

Running a hand over the module’s damaged entry panel, where someone long ago had beaten the panel into uselessness, Julius discovered long-forgotten neural pathways established during childhood training waking. Nanites created them during the second infusion: how to operate an escape pod, how to seal a hull breach, and how to operate the distress beacon. Things every person on board This Giant Leap needed to know.

Breathing out slowly, they moved around the sealed module, turning their head with each beep until they found the crack at the base of the module allowing the sound to carry throughout the ship. It looked like it went through the bulkhead. Another trip up to go down, then sideways brought them under the bridge and the communication module in what used to be the incubation chambers, the most protected area from interstellar radiation. Avoiding the empty equipment still attached walls, which had been floors when the ship used to rotate, Julius found the crack again, this time they could slip inside the pitch-black area.

They left some skin behind, but made it in. For once, their small size played in their favor.

The beep happened again and the programmed instinct took over, guiding their hands over equipment they never seen before and couldn’t see now. The beep was replaced with a hum.

Then a burnt smell.

And, finally, hologram lasers danced in the abandoned air.

(words 602; first published 9/25/2022 – I asked if anyone wanted one of the Facebook visual flash expanded to 500 words, and they asked for Beep.)

Beep Series
Beep (7/26/2020)
Ship’s Center (9/6/2020)

Flash: Beep

Acquired from Unsplash

No one visited the old ship anymore. It had failed them, and the generation born from the Sky-Fallen followed in their parent’s manner, avoiding the heartbreak of broken promises. At least the double-sun hid the black. Stars didn’t cruelly shine on their lost travelers.

Except Julius. Last born of the Sky-Fallen, full of the nanites to help others to survive the dark and radiation. They had the third and last booster the day navigation glitched. Unlike their brethren, they had no memory of the stars and they had all of the hunger for the unknown the children lacked. They came often to this inbetween place. The only location between sky and ground that understood them.

Thus they heard the beep.

(words 120; first published 4/30/2022 – created from visual prompt for a Facebook writing group. Goal was 50 words; I went over.)

Beep Series
Beep (7/26/2020)
Ship’s Center (9/6/2020)

Editing Rant: As You Know Bob

Image courtesy of the internet Hivemind

You know something is a common issue when TV Tropes has an entire section devoted to defining it and providing examples. “As you know, Bob…” has just such a section.

And still, it persists.

What exactly is an “As you know, Bob” moment? It’s when characters share information which is common knowledge to those involved but might be unknown to the reader. For example:

“As you know Bob, cell phones had a major jump in technology when microprocessors because atom sized.” Bob-two said in the traditional speech of the twentieth century.

Bob responded in the way of modern people *Yes, Bob-two, and then bioprogramming allowed us to integrate it into our DNA allowing us to have the appearance of telepathy if a visitor from the past should visit our space-faring culture.* (As you know bob – 67 words)

These two Bobs both know all of this, having received learned this information years ago. To have them talk about it makes no sense. And yet something along these lines happens all the time in books and television.

The challenge is how does a writer provide the information to the reader without doing a data dump or having a “As you know Bob” moment? How to show without telling?

The following ways are popular: (1) a school setting where background information is shared such as in this Firefly video where the background of colonization is taught to River Tam at the beginning of the Serenity movie. (2) a military briefing where everyone may or may not know all the details and the military is going to make sure everyone knows. (3) a data dump – sometimes you just got to go with informing the readers.

And the best option, integrate into the narrative. Imply and trust your reader.

“Bob, toss me the spanner will you?” Bob-two’s voice rasped from the strain of shouting over the machines.

*When are you going to give in and get the bio-app, you old fossil?* The maintenance apprentice sent to the external-bud the master guildsman had tucked into his ear. The younger man chucked the lightweight alumcarb spanner over.

Bob-two snatched it midair, ignoring the question, instead turning his attention to mechanism which required mechanic intervention. The thought of reprogramming his DNA gave him hives. (As you know bob-two – 83 Words)

WRITING EXERCISE: Create an “As you know Bob” scene of 100 words or less, then change it so it works without the lazy writing trope. Share the results below if you want.

Author: Edmund R. Schubert

Amazon Cover

Edmund R. Schubert has been instrumental with Orson Scott Card’s Intergalactic Medicine Show until recently, when he retired to concentrate on his own writing. All I can say is, About Time!

Don’t get me wrong, the man is an amazing editor. Listening to him at conventions, reading his blog posts on Magical Words, and all the other ways he passes on his mystic skills of editing to the apprentices gathering at his feet, one never doubts he is a master of his craft.

Thing is he is also a master at writing. Editing for OSCIMS took up a lot of his time, so he was limited to short stories. He is one of those when I am bopping through an anthology and a story stops me dead, and I go back to the title page for the short story, I go “oh, of course it’s him”. There are very few who do this to me … even fewer who do it every.single.time.

The man is really, really good.

Grab his collection, This Giant Leap, and see if you agree.

Flash: Armfield

Photo by Venti Views on Unsplash

Summertime in Armfield is what heaven wished it could be. The sun shines a little more gently than Sol, the air contains a bit more oxygen, the sky cloudless except for two hours in the afternoon bringing gentle rains, and the most amazing bit, not a single terraform engine in sight constantly forcing the planet back into the pattern for human existence with an entire industry dedicated to keeping it going. Armfield welcomed the first scouts to the last load of refuges from Earth before the Unified Planets collapsed back in 2914 without us needed to change a single thing.

We don’t know how many planets are still out there with people. The terraform engines had an expected lifespan of fifty years, and it’s been a hundred since the collapse. I brushed the melancholy thoughts away as I walk from my farm to the Mating Fair celebrating the day humans first set foot on Armfield. Crowds drawn from plantations from miles around push me to the edge of the ceramic-clay road. I lack the exuberance of youth to run in packs and the hereditary wealth of the first settlers giving them room as people parted to avoid being stepped on or run over by large horses and hovercarts.

My mother had been on the last ship out of Earth; I was lucky to be farming my own land.

A few of my neighbors waved greetings as they moved by. Jackson and Limer brought their hovercart alongside and offered me a ride, which I politely turned down. If I had to listen to them pitch to buy my property one more time, someone wouldn’t be making it back to their roofs tonight.

My favorite offer from them so far was becoming their mutual concubine and letting any of my children keep the money of the sale. By favorite, I mean I managed not to stab them through the eye.

(words 318, first published 9/30/22)

Market Day Series

  1. Market (8/27/2019)
  2. Armfield (5/30/2020)Not canon. Sometimes you start down a path and the story is just wrong. I kept at it and it didn’t get better. Going to try again though.
  3. Market Day Purchase (11/1/2020)This one worked MUCH better, expanding the original.