Editing Rant: Jump or Break?

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Break or Jump? White space options

So today’s edit came with two sections marked by the writer with the following (paraphrased) question. “Do I need a scene break here, a transitional paragraph, or can I just do the jump?” I understand why the author did not want to do the transitional “just adding words” – both cases were characters moving from point A to point B – in a rather obvious fashion. Why tell the readers that?

It would be boring.

We don’t want boring.

So the question then becomes scene break or scene jump?

I said break for one and jump for the other, because of emotional situation.

The characters stuck at computers and cramping. (Scene break of three stars showing some time has passed) Opening the doors and going outside into sunshine and feeling free.

Characters in car tense, parking at location (Scene Jump with new paragraph) Characters hit a wall of noise when they enter the building making them tenser. 

Transitions ignored for the break and jump – going for computer, down hall, to outside. / getting out of car, out of parking lot, into building.

This is something I’ve seen writers not really understand – using white space to add to the emotional development of the story. Sometimes a writer gets so caught up in the words, they forget paragraph-returns have their own powers.

I think the scene break helps the reader feel the difference between being hunched and free – though the conversation continues, the reaction between the characters is now shaded differently.

Whereas the jump scene increased the intensity. The reader gets whopped by the sound with the characters.

In both cases, the “white space” option complements the emotional investment needed by the reader.

Anyone else have stories (teaching-moments) about white space as an editor or writer, and how we can use “emptiness” to make a story better?

Editing Rant: Abuse as Love Trope Needs to Die!

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“Abuse as Love” trope needs to die. I don’t care if it is a horrible death or quiet. It needs to go far, far away and never, EVER return.

From a book I read (not edited, that goodness):

The “courtship” crossed the line into hive-inducing level of woman-in-danger.

The “fated mates” card was played HARD here. Too Hard. All the men were a-holes … in the same way – jerks to each other, overly possessive to their “fated mates”. I don’t care if the person is your perfect mate … you are not hers.

Drugged and Kidnapped! All the clique lines of “you will understand”, “You love me, you just don’t realize it yet”.

At least, the woman tried to get away. Not effectively, but she did try.

Because anyone kidnapping you, saying “I am the only one for you”, in the real world you need to run, run hard and fast, girl.

No one loving you like this is healthy.

The actions portrayed were criminal, stalker-level behavior. Even under the fictional world’s legal definitions, the male “hero” needed to be put down for being the unbalanced feral beast unable to follow rules of the wider society.

You don’t drug someone you love. You don’t tie the person up.

You don’t remove them from their friends and family to gain control of their life.

We MUST stop writing books like this. ESPECIALLY Young Adult books (this one wasn’t a YA, but I’ve read YAs just as bad.

We need to stop staying

“he only teases you because he like you” / TEASE = he emotionally abuses you

“he keeps track of you because he cares” / TRACKS = he stalks you

STOP, STOP, STOP.

Stop telling kids this. Stop telling teens this. Stop telling women this. Stop telling men this.

Criminal behavior is NEVER a sign of healthy love.

Editing Rant: Couple Goals

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UGH!!!!

Every TV or comics writer who believes that “married couples are boring” or “established couples have no stories left” should be forced to watch The Thin Man series over and over again under they get it.

The Thin Man’s Nick and Nora Charles are Couple Goals.

Lucy Blue, Falstaff Crush Senior Editor, and I have had this conversation a few times.

The fourth book of her Stella Hart Romantic Mystery series is coming out in two days: The Princess and the Peonies (Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B09XRH7P9R). In it Stella Hart and the love of her live, George, are getting married. I know this won’t be the end of a Lucy Blue series – she’s been wanting to provide this point of marriage actually being the most exciting part of a Romance for a long time.

Back to fixing this manuscript of “marriage is boring.” I’ll need to pick up Ms. Blue book to reset my brain after this is done.