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Writing Exercise: POV and Figures of Speech

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POV and Figures of Speech

Figures of speech, the descriptive picture using words, can help define the main character of the story, not only through describing him but the word used in the narrative. How they view the world and their personal experiences will impact what and how they share information with the reader. Limiting the story to the POV character’s vocabulary can expand the book’s world-view, drawing the reader deeper into the story and the main character’s mindset.

For example, a solider may describe the boat he is on as “clashing with the waves”, while the terse farmer from steering would say “the ship plowed through the sea,” and the verbose seamstress describes “the vessel cutting through the white crests, like scissors through crinoline, not well, but with determination.”

WRITING EXERCISE: Today’s challenge – take a single action – ship on the sea, fist punching the gut, a man limping across the room, a woman smiling welcome, etc – and then have three different people describe it from their point of view in a single sentence. You should end up with three sentences. Possible protagonists include a teacher, a wizard, a criminal, a space ship engineer, a (highly intelligent) toddler, or any of the people used in my three examples.

I am rather proud of my flash, With Moon Watching Other Places, The main character is a dryad and I describe many items in relation to the natural world. Breaking from the standard human viewpoint was refreshing and challenging.

Please post your comments below.

(first publication 3/12/2015; republished in new blog format 10/25/2016)

Flash: The Big Question

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“So who are you voting for?”

I jerk up from my reading to see the hottest senior in school motion at my stack of biographies and autobiographies. Blinking, I refocus my eyes behind my glasses. “I’m investigating.”

Collapsing in the chair next to me, all male and taking up twice as much space as me just sitting down, Grayson pulls out “The Art of the Deal” by Donald J. Trump from my pile and starts thumbing. New ink and paper scent waft to me, my personal aphrodisiac, sending my heart double-time. The town library hadn’t been able to keep up with the demand until the most recent book order came in. They called me immediately since I donated to the special election order, and I think I have the only one still left in the building.

I set down “Living History” by Hillary Rodham-Clinton on top of “Hard Choices” by the same author. “I’ve already checked that out.”

“I’m only looking.” Grayson snaps the book closed and tossed it on top of “Seven Principles of Good Government” by Gary Johnson.

“Have you decided yet?”

His dark eyes roll before he pushes his hands through his hair. “Who knew adulating would be so hard?” He links his hands behind his head, leans his chair back on two legs, and looks at me. “I was ranting at my mom since she was forcing me to finish my homework early so I could watch the debates. I mean, what does it really matter? I’m stuck with whatever people decide, right? She stopped me cold when she pointed out my birthday is the day before the election, so I will be 18 and get to vote.” He gives me a half grin, making my heart beat even faster than opening a new book. “The next day after school, she dragged me to the board of elections and got me registered.”

“Did you do that draft registration thing too?” I smile back. Grayson and I have been teamed a lot since junior high for group projects, mostly by teachers to keep the star running-back’s grade point high, so him talking to a nerd like me didn’t make me go all tongue-tied.

He rocks a bit. “Nah. I’ll just run by the post office the week of for that one. I just got to get it done before the summer job starts.” The chair clicks as all four legs returns to the floor after the librarian wiggles a finger our way. “So what is a brainiac like you still doing in school at 18? I figure you would have skipped a grade or two.”

“An accident kept me out of school for four years. I’m lucky to be on level. My birthday is November first.”

He whistles softly. “That was some accident.”

I glance over his shoulder. “Yeah, it was.”

“No fly zone. Gotcha.” Grayson stands. “But, you know, if you need to talk about it…”

Smirking, I cock my head. “And why would I talk to you?”

“I don’t know.” He reaches behind his head to adjust the hair band holding his dreads, blushing a bit. “I thought, maybe, we were, like, friends.”

I bite back a laugh. He was serious.

I frown.

“We are, kind-of.” I stand, stacking my books. Hell, why not. If the people I am reading about can run for president, I can at least ask. “So are you taking anyone to the prom yet?” I glance sideways, causal-like.

A smile starts spreading wider and wider on Grayson’s face. “Depends. Are you asking?”

My eyes immediately drops to “A Woman in Charge,” and I gulp. Women can be anything. Firmly putting the books back on the table, I turn to face Grayson, clasping my hands in front of me. “Would you do me the honor of escorting me to the Senior Prom?”

He leans forward and grasps my right hand. Reluctantly, I let him pull it up towards him. I’m sure my face was a mask of confusion. He gently kisses the knuckles while staring down my arm into my brown eyes. “The honor is mine.”

What? He wasn’t joking.

Breathless, I couldn’t keep from asking, “This is for real. You aren’t going to a locker room and joking about this later.”

“I don’t do locker room talk.” Grayson’s tenor hardens. He hadn’t let go of my hand yet. I feel his breath brush my fingertips.

I swallow again. “Okay.” I step closer as my arm is a little uncomfortable with the way he is holding it. I apply a little pressure downward.

He guides the joined hands down but still doesn’t let go. “You have my number, right?”

I nod.

“Good. I still got yours from the science fair project.”

I nod again.

“Would you like to go for pizza?”

Pizza. A date. Think. “Who’s driving?”

Grayson shrugs, pulling my hand up a little with the motion. “My provisional license won’t let me have passengers, how about you?”

“I’ve got a full license, but no car. I was going to walk home.”

His eyes drop to the table. “With that load of books?”

“A girl’s got to do.”

Grayson grabs my other hand and wraps both around him. “How about this? You drive my car. We go for pizza. You drive home. And then I can get home from there.”

“Sounds like a deal.”

A new smile crosses Grayson’s face. I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life. “Deals should be sealed.” And his head drops until I feel his lips on mine.

(925 words – first published 10/23/2016)

Geeking Science: Animal Bras

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“Probably no one in history has ever needed to write a sentence that contained the words “gecko feet,” “van der Waals forces,” and “strapless bras.” is the third sentence of “A Passion for Physics–And Fashion” published in Caltech’s E&S online magazine November 20, 2015. 

Today in Geeking Science, I bring you Animal Bras. Not animal print bras, but a strapless bra build using animal biomimicry to hold everything in place. Yes, this is for real. I know it is October and weird stuff happens – and with the presidential elections just around the corner in November this October is weirder than most. But the information isn’t from an Onion article – it came from Caltech’s Engineering and Science magazine.

The first weirdness which started everything is a total geek had a real, honest-to-goodness wife. One not afraid to wear strapless bras to be fashionable. Is this even allowed? Geeky doctorates with hot wives? I mean outside of television sit-coms.

Anyway, wifey was having the typical pull-tug-squash issues when Dr. Roy had an epiphany. “Gecko feet.”

I hope he didn’t say it aloud.

Geckos have the ability to stick on walls using van der Waals forces (need more information about how this work see the YouTube: Gecko Adhesive fit for a Spiderman). Dr. Roy conceived strapless bra insert working the same principal, tapping into van der Waals and gravity to hold everything in place. This isn’t some temporary glue, tape, or chemical adhesive.

As one male said when I shared the article during ConCarolinas 2016 “Year in Science” panel – “God Bless Science.”

Interested in the bra? Kellie K Products (Note from 4/26/2024: website seems to have been taken down since 2016) carries them. Not cheap, but any strapless bra that doesn’t end up at the waist when being worn carries a hefty price tag.

Author Spotlight: Jake Bible

Z Burbia Amazon Cover

Book Cover from Amazon

If one combined all the energy of a four year-old, the charming arrogance of a sixteen year-old, and the plain crazy of an eighty year-old paranoid dementia patient and sprinkled in some ADHD, mech zombies, and medieval space stations, you may begin to understand who is Jake Bible. He writes from middle grade to adults, horror to fantasy, thriller to science fiction. Whatever comes out of his blender mind gets put on paper. A lot of it – the man publishes six (or more) heart-pounding books a year.

I am not kidding about the mech zombies, the Apex Trilogy starting with Book 1: Dead Mech. The blurb reads: “Hundreds of years after the zombie apocalypse decimates the world, human civilization has put itself back together again. Their secret weapon against the zombie hordes: the Mechs. Massive robotic battle machines. But what happens when a mech pilot dies in his mech and becomes a zombie?”

And the medieval space station can be seen in the Reign of Four. Other series include Dead Team Alpha, Z-Burbia, and ScareScapes (middle grade), just to name a few. Mr. Bible nails the horror, the gooshy, pus-flowing, zombie-filled horror, even if the bodies don’t stay down – you think the creatures had claw hammers to dig those nails out. 

He presently resides in North Carolina and can be seen at various conventions in the area. If asked on a panel how to fix a dragging portion of a book, his response is always “Blow something up.” with a gleeful grin.

His website is: Jake Bible Fiction and his podcast is Writing in Suburbia (unscripted, NSFW – has very mellow voice, tends to have rants about writing).

Flash: School’s Weird

IN PROCESS – I had a thing this weekend. Below is the first 1,200 words of the flash. More to come when I get back on Sunday.

So things had been weird for a while at school. I mean even Randalf noticed, and he doesn’t notice anything which isn’t related to the Periodic Table or Alchemy, not even poor Selena who crushed on him so badly she volunteered as his Chem-Alch lab partner for two years running until the counselor made her switch to Sculpting the Human Figure. Now I’m stuck as his lab partner, which isn’t a bad thing being a guaranteed “A” for all lab projects. It may even pull my dismal science score into the average range.

It isn’t that I suck at science-science; for some reason my mind doesn’t twist the magical applications of alchemy, astrology, transmutation, and the like. Give me an engineering project, a practical real-world application which can be presented to the nulls as a finished project without getting zinged by EEP and I am golden as a Phoenix egg. This little ability kept me from dropping back a level the last two years; I just squeak by.

Anyway Randalf turned to me while brewing a dehydration potion and asked, “Have you been getting mail?”

I look up at the fume vent, wondering if the gas discharge had gone to Randalf’s brain and shook something loose for once. Vapors curled against the flow, but the spell clearing the possibly poisonous air held firm. I wasn’t dizzy at all – not that much makes me dizzy, except for Javan who is the star running retriever and a total yum and I hadn’t seen him all day. All week actually. Just like the mail. “Mail stopped nine days ago, just after the Equinox. If you had been to the girls’ dorm you would hear all kinds of complaints from Ladybird.” Her boyfriend graduated last year, and they have been writing back and forth daily while he does his ‘tween-year internship.

“I don’t go to the girls’ dorm.” Randalf grunted.

“Then you have to be the only junior boy who hasn’t been snuck in.” I’m pleased to see his head whip up. His eyes lose focus a moment, while they adjust from staring at the green flame to looking into my green eyes.

Yes, I have green eyes, amazing, almost glowing, green eyes, just like all Barretts … and yes, I am one of *those* Barretts, number thirteen of fourteen so far. Stupid parents have effective immortality and pop one out every ten years. After two hundred years of marriage you think they would get over themselves but they are still all lovey-dovey.

I would like to have that some day.

Not with Javan. He is strictly a look type of guy, brains need not engage. Day-to-day I rather have someone like Randalf at my side, once he stops being a spaz. He grew like a beanstalk since freshman year and looks like a just-raised skeleton and is about as graceful as a newly animated bag of bones. I wonder what he kisses like.

His eyes are puppy brown by the way and are way too large for his face. But then everything on his face is too big for his face – his nose, ears, mouth, and chin complete with afternoon dark whiskers. You think a guy as good as he is with alchemy would have come up with a hair remover.

“That’s against the rules.”

I smiled slyly. “Some rules get broken.”

He frowned, returning his attention back to the potion. “I guess you are one of the ones who breaks them.”

Randalf is so much better than I at staying focused. If it had been me, the flame would still be blue. Who knew a second line existed to feed a copper mix into the Bunsen burner? “Only curfew.”

“Only curfew?” His head flopped to the side; I guess he is imitating Dr. Saunders headcock inquiry, a habit nearly everyone picks up during Modern Null History.

“Hum-hum. Who can sleep at lights out?”

“Most of us,” said a male voice without the creaks of teenage years.

Daphne’s Braids, how much had the teacher heard? “Hello, Mr. Walker.”

“Hello Ms. Barrett, Mr. Seconds.” He nodded at each of us. “Any problems?”

“No, sir.” Randalf answered for both of us. I always let him do that.

Oh, I am not a timid, shy girl. Randalf has already asked to be my lab partner for practical physics next year and I am going be totally all over that course. I mean I read null practical engineering books for fun, hiding them behind romance covers, of course, like Randalf buries his advance alchemy pamphlets in comic books. Biology and chemistry are my bane. I did okay freshman year with geology, but the second half of the year science with astrology/astronomy destroyed that grade.

Plus I am wicked in the music department, having inherited a full spectrum of Siren gifts from my father. Presentation of group papers always falls on me. And I’m second chair on the debate team as well as the clarinet. I sleep through history, much to my parent’s disgust, but do okay anyway because our family dinner talk rarely touches on anything which happened in the last decade and I haven’t forgotten much since coming to Evergreen High, especially with touch-up during the seasonal breaks.

In Mrs. Giacosta’s math class, Randalf and I have vied for the top slot all junior year. He swept the matrixes section, but, after switching to multi-dimensional charting, I knocked him out of the top slot with the last pop test. Mrs. Giacosta loves pop tests, saying life never tests you when you expect it. Those are closed book; her scheduled tests are open book.

The woman, who is also the headmistress for Evergreen, is not one to mess with. She cut her own arm off when a Ripper Stone bore into her hand, before the parasite could take over her mind.

“Sleep is essential for developing minds young lady.”

I paste on a sincere smile. “I will keep that in mind Mr. Walker.”

“If you want an extra credit project, why don’t you make sleeping draft?”

Randalf perked up. “We should have time tomorrow.” Tomorrow is make-up day for anyone who had a failed potion in the last two weeks. Everyone else in the class had at least two failed experiments, most three, which is another weird thing – the high rate of magic failure since we got back from the seasonal break. Randalf is not the only alchemy nerd in class; yes, he is the *best* of them, but Kris and Alpine are close. And it’s not just the alchemy class. I actually hit a wrong note on an simple two-octave aria yesterday. I haven’t cracked a note like that since … well, elementary levels, maybe. Everyone has been having problems.

Mr. Walker shook his head. “The extra credit project will have to be done by Ms. Barrett. You can observe, but all actions must be her own.”

We look at each other. It’s going to kill Randalf to watch me “cook” a sleeping draft. He nods slightly. I can see in his eyes he thinks I can do it if he can talk me through it. He has more confidence in my abilities than I do.

(words 1,201 – first published 10/16/2016)