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Art Projects: Smocked Aprons

Smocked Aprons as Prizes

On Saturday the 24, my local SCA group held its annual event. The lunch is a potluck, and I had a .Brilliant.Idea. late last year to supplement the potluck by hosting a cooking competition. The cope-de-resistance to get people to enter items for other people to eat is having a kickin’ prize. November last year I started making four possible aprons for people to win. Not just any aprons, mind, but smocked apron, with drawn hemwork, all done in linen and by 100% by hand.

Out-of-my-ever-lovin’ mind, I was. I needed four aprons because the local cook’s guild has four colors of aprons for their ranking and, of course, I had to have one in each color because I didn’t know who would win.

All but one were completed in time for the event. Guess which color I needed for the winner? Bingo, the one undone. So I took the apron to DragonCon and sewed like a fiend in the backrow in panel after panel after panel – from Science to Space, Writing to the Apocalypse (maybe more literally then just the panel’s name). Then I did the last bit at home in time to deliver the prize to the woman the next time I saw her after she won. Go Me!

All the aprons were done in Honeycomb smocking and had Hound’s Tooth as the first row of drawn work. Red and Green also got lines of Interlacing.

Flash: Stone Circle Clearing

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Rating: Mature

Another rustle a little further from camp drew Lucius attention. The small Roman scouting party was deep in the unknown lands of this island and he had drawn the second night shift. He squinted through the fog trying to make out the forms deeper in the woods. They had camped on the edge of a forest in the younger trees. Evidentially, the village did not need as much farming land as it did about nine years ago, based on the size of the trees.

The hamlet had made no notice of their arrival, and likely would be a quick conquest once his group reported all they found to the Ferrata Legate. But the woods disturb him. He moved closer to investigate and winced as the armor straps bit into him and the plates clanked together. The rustle moved rapidly away.

Enough.

He grew up herding goats and knew how to move quietly to get in position to kill predators.  He unbuckled the compressing leather. The straps had stretched out in the warmth of the day during their swift march; nightfall had brought the cold and the weird fog. He had seen fog drift across water before, but never rise from the forest floor.

He quietly laid the cold iron aside just outside of camp and muttered a prayer to Mars to keep the Decanus asleep until he had finished his investigation. Being out of armor while awake included many punishments, the least being a reduction in salt. Laying a hand on his broadsword’s sheath to control its movement, Lucius melted into the older growth.

The full moon acted as daylight in the area the forest was reclaiming, but the full branches in this area blocked all but the most persistent light. Even so Lucius was able to place his sandals silently as he followed where he thought the rustle lead. A curious child from the village, or finally a warrior in this timid realm? A silver flash reflected off of cloth passing between the shadows to his right.

Within moments, the solider came into a clearing made by a fallen ancient. He walked around the exposed boulders surrounding the moonlight area. The moss-covered deadwood was taller than his short stature and blocked his view from the other side, but for the first time he heard music. A lute perhaps.

Staying in shadows he made his way around until he saw the two most shapely women he had ever seen. Stunned, he forgot to watch his step and last year’s leaves gave him away. They turned as one towards him. Somehow the haze cleared from his eyes and he clearly saw their faces matched their beautiful shapes and they were wearing traditional Egyptian outfits. Their full breasts fully exposed above flowing gauze.

“Come.” The black haired one invited. Then modesty made her bite her bottom lips for so bold a request. The blonde quickly glanced at the other and then nodded.  Turning her emerald eyes back to him, the blonde offered out a hand. “Yes, please come.”

Lucius didn’t even remember crossing to them. He just grasped the pale hand and pulled the blonde against his body and erection. His leather skirt was left with the armor, so the woman should easily feel his lust through the linen shirt and subligaculum.  As the woman pressed herself more firmly against him, the Roman gave silent thanks to Bacchus and crushed her centurion scarlet mouth with in a ravaging kiss.

Behind him the raven hair beauty stroked his back and commented in Latin accented from his home village. “Do I not get a turn?”

Somewhere his mind whimpered warning as he twisted his head around. The second set of lips met his as his thumbs traced the first female’s nipples. The two drew him down to the forest floor.

His ears felt the sweet female breath. “You must be hungry. Would you like something to eat?”

Lucius blinked and saw the women had come into the woods to have a picnic. But not just a simple country meal … before him was spread delicacies that rivaled Ceasar’s table.

“In a moment my lovely” he said as he lifted the gauze from the brunette’s ass. Her sapphire eyes glanced over her shoulders as he mounted her. Her hiss of pleasure was all he could ask for. As he felt cock get squeezed by the pale ass he was penetrating, the blonde kneeled in front of her companion and laid a lark’s tongue across each of her nipples.

Sex and food, what more could a solider want? He leaned forward, going deeper into the woman underneath him and sucked the morsels from blonde’s breasts.

The Ferrata Legio never found what happened to their scouting party in Hibernia. And somehow they never managed to conquer the Isle. It was as if the very spirits of the land worked against them.

 (814 words – originally appearing in Sunday Fun for Breathless Press on 11/11/12; republished new blog format 8/27/2017)

Related story: Captivated

Other Cool Blogs: Neil Gaiman May 12, 2017

“The impostor syndrome does not become you.”

Something I said recently to a fellow writer at a con – someone who had multiple publications in a variety of genres through large, small and self published means. He didn’t feel he had the right to speak about writing on a particular topic on a panel because he had only published one book in that genre and it was co-written.

The Imposture Syndrome eats at you as a writer or artist. “I’m not good enough.” “Everyone knows I am faking it.” “Why do people think I can ‘adult’ this?” “I didn’t learn this in school.” “I’ve only done it once.” … the list of the internalized dialogue goes on and on.

Thanks to our culture, it’s worse for women than men, but no one is safe. Even if you have been a published author for years and years. Even if you were the point of a very long spear of people getting you to a remote location.

Neil Gaiman’s anecdote really brings this home. You can find it at his blog here: May 12, 2017.

So when your impostor syndrome flairs up, remember the malady is common … and tell that inner voice it doesn’t become you.

Writing Exercise: Born Sexy Yesterday

In May, the writing exercise took a trope and made it unique. Often writers take a troupe, flip it, and use that as a social commentary. After all, tropes exist because of expected action and situations, and expectations are instilled by society. So today I would like to take one of the more unquestioned one – Born Sexy Yesterday, and ask people to flip it around.

Born Sexy Yesterday is about an uneven power dynamic to a relationship, a teacher-student situation where the student has absolutely no knowledge and the teacher has all control of dispensing that knowledge, and then initiates a romantic or sexual relationship with the student during the instruction. Colonialism performed it when military leaders took the local (conquered) girls; sci-fi does it by having women emerge in fully realized adult female form with an untrained mind.

Born Sexy Yesterday is nearly 100% related to the woman being the weaker half of the relationship. The few times you see it with men, it’s played for laughs. I think the reason is, in American Society, women are the primary caregivers of children and it gets creepy thinking about making a play for a child-mind. They have been told by the culture to take care of the mentally young and ill. Men don’t have the training of “don’t touch children” banged into them beyond “check the ID for jail-bait”.

WRITING EXERCISE: So here is the writing exercise, write a story with the Born Sexy Yesterday trope turned on its edge. With the woman the teacher and the male the student but fully realized naive adult male (at least 24), but don’t play it for laughs. Make it as sexy and acceptable as Splash and Fifth Element, but with the guy needing to be dressed, hugged, and kissed. In this particular case the relationship must remain hetero, because the object is to study the socially ingrained dynamic American (and like) societies presently have. This is a social commentary piece. You can work it in high fantasy, sci-fi, urban fantasy, or other genre, even humor, so long as the relationship itself isn’t where the humor comes from. For example, in Splash much of the humor is based on her naivety, but the love developing between the Ordinary Joe and the Born Sexy Yesterday was not played for laughs. You might find it easiest to write the piece with the standard male-female setup and then reverse genders after the initial bit is complete. Aim for between 500 and 2000 words.

Further information can be found in the link below from Pop Culture Detective and from TV tropes: Born Sexy Yesterday.

Flash: Balance Sheet

Photo by Igor Ovsyannykov on Unsplash

Rating: Mature (Language)

“I’m going to kill him; I’m going to kill them all.”

“Really?” Watching her youngest storm up the wooden steps onto her porch, Daphne Gigante rocked her chair forward to set down her needles on top of her knitting basket. The half-done mint green scarf matched the purple one around Albert’s neck. “Calm down.”

“They disrespected me.” Albert muttered while he paced along the boards. “Ain’t nobody disrespect me.”

“So you are going to kill them all?” Daphne shook her head, considering whether to move the conversation indoors. She glanced up and down the street, placing each vehicle and person into friend or foe status. Everything within three blocks was recognizable. Cops really hated surveillance during the winter; the cars got cold when they couldn’t run the engine for heat without giving themselves away.

“Yep.”

She snorted at that simple statement as he stopped moving, legs spread and fists on his hips facing her and the front door instead of watching the street. “Yeah, that is going to learn them all some lessons.” She adjusted the afghan on her lap, tucking the edges back under. The blanket had moved when she had laid the knitting down.

“Fuck yeah.” Albert sneered in triumph, his black eyes sparkling.

“No it ain’t.” Daphne spat. “Sit yourself down right now son.” She waved at the short stool on her right, not the second rocking chair on her left.

The five foot ten inch nineteen year old glared at his mother before he resumed pacing between the small seating area and the white painted railing.

A Smith and Wesson semi-auto pistol jumped in Daphne’s hands, the light of the laser sight dancing across Albert’s center of mass. “I said sit. Don’t you go speak about respect and disrespect me.” Her voice was a calmly lethal as the weapon.

Albert quickly hunched down on the child stool, struggling with his long legs until they ended up crossed in front of him, half keeping him from toppling off the chair.

“Now you ready to listen or do I need to pound you some sense into your thick skull.” She pantomimed striking his head with the grip.

“I’m listening mom.”

Daphne slipped the gun under the blanket, wiggling a bit because the metal weapon had taken some of the ambient air temperature while out. “Right. You don’t go killing randomly.”

Albert surged up, growling, “It ain’t random.”

“I’m talking here.” The gun reappeared, and this time the red dot aimed at his jean’s zipper.

Albert sat right back down, scooting the stool for a better angle to watch his mother’s face.

Giving him an evil eye, Daphne waited until he stopped moving before tucking the gun away again. “You don’t go killing randomly, you hear me?”

After a couple seconds of silence, Daphne cuffed her son lightly on the ear. “Answer me when I am talking to you boy.”

Albert swallowed before asking, “Now?”, the sneer and gangster confidence long gone.

“When else, smart mouth?” Daphne reached for her knitting, confident in her ability to control the situation now the teen anger had been removed. “Do you hear what I am saying?”

“Don’t kill randomly.”

After arranging everything to restart, she gripped the needles in her left and gently stroked her son’s cheek with her right. “Good. This is why you’re my favorite, aside from being the only one not in prison.”

Clicking needles filled the void in conversation for a moment.

“You kill precisely. Got that?” Daphne said conversationally as she started the next row after glancing up and down the street again.

“Kill precisely.”

“You kill too much and people start expecting it.”

Albert nodded.

“You kill too much and it cheapens the killing.”

His thick eyebrows met. “Are you talking economics?” Watching her watch the street, Albert tried to read something in the bland face of the woman who executed her own husband at the order of the mob boss, ten years before she took the fucker out and fixed the gang to her own extracting standards while he was in high school.

“Yeah, supply and demand shit.” She paused in her knitting to stare into his eyes. “Listen up boy, you kill all the time, and you flood the market. Killing becomes like fast food, cheap and quick and you don’t want that. When you kill you want it to mean something. A gift, only a very nasty gift. Got that?”

“Umm.” Albert tried to break eye contact. He didn’t want her to think he was challenging her. But he couldn’t, until she dropped her gaze to her knitting, then he blinked several times.

“Beat up people all you want. Scare them.” Her calm, mother-knows-best voice continued. “But only kill them when you absolutely got to.”

“Because killing gots to mean something.” Albert hoped he had the right answer.

“That’s my boy.” She paused in her knitting to stroke his cheek again. “Now go get some of your buds and hospitalize those blancwoggs.”

Hopping up, Albert nodded at his mother and strode to the front steps.

The clicking needles stopped when he reached the bottom stairs and turned toward the O’Dare house. “Don’t get caught sweetie.”

(Words 862 – first published 8/20/2017)