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Flash: Roulette Leadership

Erin Penn

freedigitalphotos.net

 

Five, only five soldiers of the Imperial’s Two-Thousand and Thirty-Fifth Company was left. The group could only speculate on how the rest of the Fourth Army sent to conquer the upstart planet Minerva fared. Three hundred souls down to five. Doing the math, if everyone else ran into the extreme defensive capability of the Minervites and suffered the same loss ratio, the Glorious Fourth Army now constituted a little under 500 shell-shocked veterans nursing wounds in muddy holes.

 

“We should have bombed them from orbit.” Cecil cursed, trying to clear the slime from his rifle’s sight.

 

Virgil, always seeing things from more angles than a grub should, pointed out. “Couldn’t. Too good a force field around the major cities, and a nasty-as-pie orbital defense prevented navy from stayin’ close.”

 

“Yeah, talked to one of the engineer types as they loaded us in the cans.” Janus added. “Minotaur manufacture on the stations and mine fields, modified. For once, the back-water fuckers actually reset the defaults. Then they added their own twist. Minerva knows security. ”

 

“Should we surrender?” Maurice finished wrapping Emil’s wound. The two of them were the only ones with matching squad tags. Shit, they were the only ones with matching platoon patches. After everything they had been through, they refused to be separated.

 

“What is this, a democracy like Minerva?” Cecil sneered. “We need to get an officer. We can’t do anything without an officer.”

 

“They’re dead. They are all dead.” Panic laced Maurice’s voice.

 

“Battle-field promotion is required by the code. Which is the longest here?” Virgil’s left hand wave included the other buck privates.

 

“Don’t let the grays fool you.” Janus spat out as the rest looked at him.

 

Cecil shook his head. “Just how many times have you been busted back to nothing?”

 

“How much are you ledger red?” Janus countered.

 

Virgil interrupted the budding argument. “You be the oldest man Janus Culd-son. None of us top fifty.”

 

Janus wanted to shake his head violently in negation, but a concussion-powered migraine exploded at the first nascence movement. “May push seventy years in service and a whole cent outside of it, but not taking any Laurel.”

 

“How about you Cecil? You have the drive and come from the Capital. You got the best connections.” Virgil pointed out.

 

“Fuctuo, mingo, irrumatio. Fuctuo no! Not even if you shoot me in the head.”

 

Virgil looked over at Maurice and Emil and the two shrunk into the mud.

 

“How about you Virgil?” Janus asked.

 

“Not for all the cows on Bubona.” Virgil’s broken right arm was wrapped against his snapped ribs, restricting his back-planet gestures, but the motions of his good hand were as obscene and violently negative as Cecil’s curses to those that knew how to read them. “Don’t want the meetings. Don’t want the blame-beats. Like my entrails in me just fine.“

 

“So if can’t vote a leader. And nobody stupid enough to volunteer, …” Janus pulled out a rare trank pistol he had been assigned as Military Prodder. He emptied the six chambers. He picked up one of the tranks and they watched him load the round back into the unfamiliar MP weapon. “Russian Roulette.” He rotated the chamber and then passed the weapon to Cecil. “Rather get shot in the head. Prove it.”

 

Cecil handled the normally non-lethal weapon like he had just been passed a leaking nuke-head. He swallowed, then put the gun to his fragile temple and pulled the trigger. His head rocked from a light blast of air. Describing acts that would make Bacchus blush, he passed the weapon back to Janus.

 

“Five chances left. Don’t want to die, don’t pull and take instead Captain. Get hung either way; this one’s less pain.” Janus put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. He dropped the weapon, screaming. Panting, he eventually was able to pick up weapon when his body stopped shaking from the pain racing through his head. He passed it to the next closest person.

 

That was Maurice since Virgil was at the edge of the ravine seeing if anyone heard the scream. “I’m no Captain. I don’t want to be responsible for others. I already am bathed in blood.” Maurice with a fatality put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger.

 

Sighing relief, he passed it to Emil. “Your turn.” Emil shook his head and whispered something only Maurice could hear. 


“Only for you.” Maurice responded. Helping his friend hold the pistol, Maurice brought the gun to Emil’s forehead; wrapping his finger around his friend’s, they pulled the trigger together.

 

The pistol was returned to Janus. “Only two shots chances left, one will kill. Fifty-fifty odds. How lucky are you Virgil?”

 

“I played bones with you. You know my luck.” Virgil sighed. “Guess you should be callin’ me sir.”

 

(words 803; Originally published 10/23/2013; republished new blog format 9/2/2018)

Movie Review: The Man of Steel

Erin Penn

(Republication from the old blog, originally 2013)

A little away from my normal posts – but right now I am learning about editing, revisions, and making stories better.

Some authors say, after you start being an author yourself you stop enjoying books and other story forms. You see the flaws. So far I have been fortunate – except in this particular case. I don’t look forward to the time when I react to all stories this way – I hope I never do.

Man of Steel Review

I went expecting the epic blockbuster with typical Superman twists related to an origin story. In that respect, the movie delivers. Explosions, buildings destroyed, flying, etc. – all the wonderful special effects one needs for a summer superhero flick. The slow unveil of the back story of Clark Kent growing up was acceptably poignant. A bonus with the Krypton sequences just as unique and otherworldly as Superman (Christopher Reeves) version. Gritter and more complicated than the ice-white sets of the 1978 version, but perfect for 2013.

If you liked the movie, don’t read further. I don’t want to ruin your pleasant experience. I am going to go into a lot of details (SPOILERS) because this movie is the perfect example of why you need to be consistent about a magic system and worldbuilding. I don’t remember any other movie where I was thrown out of it so often and so far by poor content. If you remember anything I missed or would like to comment about it, please respond. If it will be a spoiler, please clearly state where spoilers.

If I could have enjoyed blockbuster features and only those features, the movie would have been perfect. But the worldbuilding was so cringe-worthy I nearly walked out during the last third of the movie (you know, the “best” part of a summer action flick – the final battle). Maybe if I hadn’t spent the day studying editing … but no, if I was using AJ Hartley’s ABC(D)s for Beta Readers  (p. 220 in How to Write Magical Words: A Writer’s Companion) the whole movie would have been marked up with D: Don’t Believe. Time after time I was thrown out of the story

I mean I am okay with the bad science already integral to the mythos. Superman flying, and getting his power from the sun, and wormhole transportation from Krypton, and X-ray and Heat and the dozen of other Visions and Super-Senses. Those mythos were absorbed as a child and part of me still believes them. I’m okay with the comic book violence and the emphasis of action over plot for a summer flick. But …

START OF SPOILERS …. STOP HERE IS YOU DON’T WANT THE SPOILERS

At least get night and day correct! My movie companion says I should treat the errors related to night/day as continuity errors. I am laying them at the feet of worldbuildng or fact-checking. Since we are using a present-day Earth as the base instead of a fantasy planet like Krypton, I feel the writers/directors should have gotten night and day correct under worldbuilding rules.

Technically Bad – Fact-Checking Editing Errors

So the first night-day issue was General Zod’s announcement. They go around the planet and we see people huddled around TVs (should have had more variation in size and “age” than shown) – all in twilight. Kind of cool – sunset around the planet at the same time. The other one (the final straw to throw me out of the story and want to crawl out of the theatre) – The world engines – one in Metropolis (New York) and other in Indian Ocean – on the other side of the planet. Both are in daylight. – WHAT? I mean, they even had Kal-El fly into space, have the planet (half-day and half-night) rotate around him and come back down. That was an awesome way to “fly” faster – use the planet’s rotation in your favor. But if the planet is half-day and half-night, …. Why isn’t the two terraformers under different light? If the world engine near Australia had been dark, I think the action sequences would have been spectacular – reimage the scene with dark and all the light happening around it – the water floating reflecting rainbows against stars.

How hard is it to get time correct? Pretty hard from the looks of it. Perry and his crew are at work always – no one but Lois traveling away for stories. I think we see the Daily Planet staff in the office early morning to late evening. Do they live there?

Other “technical” issues: (1) On Krypton, a broken moon is shown in the sky, yet when we pan out for Krypton exploding this is gone. I forgave the “art” issue. (2) Girl screaming under water on the school bus.  Really bad “foley”. I was going with it as an action flick, tension heightening item, UNTIL she inhaled and screamed again – really how did she get that second scream out … underwater? Check out of movie. I pushed myself back in as Clark brought the bus out of the water – I told myself this was a sound-editing mistake, one of the last things a movie lies down. No one caught the issue.  (3) Zod aged (beard goes white) in the 33 years since Superman grew up on Earth and Faora, his female sidekick pet-psychopath, did not.

A mantra I often use to enjoy movies with a few glitches – “It is art; let it flow over you”. A couple technical issues are to be expected. The daylight on opposite sides of the planet during the biggest battle – well, that is just crap. Like walking into the Louvre and discovering the Mona Lisa had Tammy Baker makeup added by the Joker.

Bad Worldbuilding

Worldbuilding is all about making consistent mythos. We all remember the scene in Supergirl as she slides while crossing the tilting floor and we are screaming at the screen – Fly! You I.D.I.O.T., you can Fly! Not very consistent in 1984. Destroys the dramatic moment.

Kal-El gets his powers from (1) Low Earth gravity, (2) Earth’s “rich” atmosphere (as explained by Jor-El) which seem related to super senses (Zod gets them when exposed to Earth’s atmosphere), (3) Earth’s “younger” sun producing radiation to harden skin and strengthen his muscles and structure still further (also explained by Jor-El), (4) End product of years of Kryptonian genetic manipulation with a bit of natural mutation by parental breaking of rules (implied).  All clearly explained.

The movie not only explains (tells) the world building, but also shows the world building, making the mythos believable and real. I assume the Oil Rig knocking him for the loop and pushing his superstrength to the limit is because he was growing older and in power. Initially the scene is dissatisfying because oil rig – pah, he can handle that. But if he was and is still growing in power because of time on Earth, I will happily absorb the worldbuilding.

We see him gaining control of his super senses – I guess that just hit him suddenly (?). He already seemed to have a good handle on the heat vision since the door handle heating was controlled. Poor Martha having a toddler with that power. Kal-el  learns to fly by jumping then ignoring gravity. I remember one comic stating low level telekinetic/levitation ability might have been something Kryptonians had bred into.

The worldbuilding shows time and again you need to be on Earth a while to gain all the abilities Superman has. Then throws it out the window making all Kryptonians are as strong, fast, and invulnerable as Superman. Ugh!!!

How did Zod get supersenses immediately upon exposure to the atmosphere when Clark didn’t get them until Elementary School – nearly a full decade on the planet?  How the heck did Zod get HEAT vision so quickly and under control to threaten people? Kal-el fell down coughing blood on the Kryptonian ship and took hours to recover – yet Zod can get rid of his breather and go to town in seconds? Faora and Ursa get POUNDED on by Kal-El and the American military – guess they spent lots of time in Earth-like tanning beds on the trip through space because they walk out without a scratch. Invulnerability much?

I am willing to give Zod flying since that seems to be related to Earth’s gravity and/or natural Kryptonian telekinesis. But the rest wasn’t needed. These Kryptonians came in BATTLE SUITS. Can you imagine the epicness of Kal-el going toe-to-toe with very strong people in the best armor ever made? Would have been awesome and believable. I didn’t believe Ka-el fighting a unit of elite military troopers – as strong and fast as him – bred and trained for war and surviving. The storytellers didn’t need to break down the worldbuilding they did to give Superman his powers, they could have used the Battle Suits and superior technology. I think that is why I don’t forgive them – they had an alternative works just as well, if not better! (And imagine them coming BACK in another movie after exposing themselves to the environmental features of Earth– sure, Kal-el will always be a little ahead, but EPIC possibilities!)

Bad Character Decisions

Still all of that may have been forgiven (well, I still think the night-day issue of being on opposite sides of the planet is a killer like Supergirl not flying), if the characters worked. Characters drive the story. At the end of the day, I don’t care about the invulnerable Super-Duper can do everything man – I care about the corn-bred boy from Kansas in over his head living in New York City – Metropolis – whatever you want to call it.  Therefore the actions of the characters and their decisions need to work.

And they don’t.

How did Clark infiltrate a military base in the arctic? More important, how did Lois Lane backtrack Clark from the base to his mother? Remember she has been pulled off the story already. Remember she does this quickly (the clock starts ticking from the time Kal-El activates the scout ship). Does she have private funds of her own? I know people who work even when rich – if she is one of them, establishment of her resources would be nice. “You are on two-week sabbatical without pay.” – “Dang it, I love to work.” “Right, money doesn’t matter since you are a Lane – make that a three-week sabbatical.” We don’t need to know where the Lane family has their money – we just need to treat the name like Hilton or Mars or Walton or Kennedy. One sentence, only one more sentence was needed in the dialogue.

Extremely annoying is the New Yorkers – I know Metropolis isn’t officially New York, but any comic collector knows the truth. In Avengers, the on-the-ground normal New Yorkers scream, but they also fight, they run, they plan, they move.  These people have seen buildings fall over. They know to leave the buildings, get on the streets, and head for the bridges out of town. You might walk for hours, but you get gone. Unlike the Avengers – the Man-of-Steel civilian counterparts stay put. What? At least let them be reporters – with Perry turning around and shouting at people to get the Story and the office emptying. Watching the battle forever and finally announcing “It’s time to leave now”. No, really it is not time to leave – it was time to leave half an hour ago!!!

The only gem of character action-development was General Zod. Once all his plans fail and he was alone in the world, his soliloquy about being bred only to protect Krypton and her people is perfect. You understand everything this man has done was for one purpose, the purpose he was bred and shaped for. He could not have chosen any other path. Confirmation and foreshadowing in the Krypton backstory and Jor-El remarks about wanting to give Kal-El, his son, choices no one on Krypton make you believe this. I was little put off by Zod then attacking the Man of Steel. He had just said he didn’t have any people left, but he did have one. Kal-el. I think the soliloquy should have ended with “All I have left is you, and you … you chose humans. You are human. You killed my people!” Still, I believe Zod beginning to end as a character and the actions he choose.

The scene where Superman has to kill Zod is suppose to be an OMG moment. Anyone following Superman mythos – comic and movie – knows Superman doesn’t kill. It is the one weakness (?) this god-power man has. Him killing Zod is suppose to be the climax of the emotional journey. Except this journey was NEVER ADDED TO THE PLOT!!!!  In this particular movie, Superman’s aversion to killing was NEVER established. Instead we see him going toe-to-toe with Faora and Ursa on Smallville’s main street with the army shooting guns and releasing bombs. He told people to go into buildings, but bullets ricochet. He tosses Ursa through buildings. Some of the Kansas residents must be hurt and killed. He never debated attacks on the villains – maybe in this scene he could have established an aversion to killing.  His heartache at failing to save people.

Or how about regretting losing his temper and beating on the villain after his mother was attacked?

I was so far out of the story by the time Zog was using his Heat Vision to hold the people hostage in Union Station (I know train station is “unnamed” – but come on, we all recognize where that scene was shot!), I couldn’t care. All I could think about was – Superman, you just destroyed half a city. Tens of thousands are dead, hundreds of thousands are seriously injured, a couple million have lost their home or their work. And you are upset by four people? Why were you not upset before? Why did you toss your enemies through buildings? I.is.confused.

CONCLUSION
So do you agree with my assessments? Did you see anything else that is bad? What did you think they did right with plot and character development?

I think my problem boils down to this – I have a “Willing Suspension of Disbelief”. I worked with the movie as best I could. They just used up their quota. Or as TV Tropes put it I was able to “believe the impossible, but not the improbable.”

(Originally published 6/26/2013; republished 8/30/2018)

Writing Exercise: Diverse Other

Erin Penn

Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today’s writing exercise continues my present diversity kick.

Remember the definition for “The Other” in writing is – not you. If you are white, it means black or Hispanic. If you are cis-male, it means female or transgender. If you are straight, it means homosexual or bi-sexual. If you are able-bodied, it means dealing with depression or blindness. If human, it means aliens and elves.

“Writing The Other” is a hot panel topic at most writer conventions. Jim C. Hines writes about a panel he was on (click HERE). Biggest take away:

Most of the time though, when I hear “We’re not allowed to write _____ characters,” it’s an author talking.  Upon investigation, it usually turns out that nobody told our author friend that he or she wasn’t allowed to write these characters; instead, someone criticized him for doing it badly.

Well … yeah.  If you write flat, unrealistic, or just plain bad characters, you’re going to get called on that.  If all your women exist only to swoon and get naked for your hero (*cough* Heinlein *cough*), then people might complain.  They’re not saying you aren’t allowed to write women characters.  They’re saying please stop sucking at it.

Do you know the number one way to avoid sucking at writing The Other? Practice and review. Write and have The Other review it. Repeat until suck-age is less.

WRITING EXERCISE: Take one of your previous flashes and change the POV character to The Other. Adjust descriptions, dialogue, and behavior. Share with someone who matches The Other in your story. Ask them to specifically look at it for writing outside your comfort zone and LISTEN to their critique.

BONUS WRITING EXERCISE: Talk with The Other. Sit down with an Other – friend or co-worker – buy them food or a drink because this is going to take a little while. Talk to them for at least half an hour about they approach literature. And LISTEN. Limit yourself to questions only. Here are three to try, “What kind of books do you like reading?”; “What is your favorite author, fiction or non-fiction?”; “If you wanted me to know more about being (Other), what books you have read and liked would you recommend?”

Flash: Small Wings

Erin Penn

Photo by Tikkho Maciel on Unsplash (Cropped and Color Adjusted by Erin Penn)

Someone wanted him here. The geocache might as well have made for him, taking him from one end of the city to the other on his skateboard for the last four hours. A couple of clues…. well, he had fallen for it.

Raff looked around the empty parking garage, his stomach saying it wasn’t empty. He learned to trust his gut a long time ago. The sibilant hiss of pipes in the ceiling and tires echoing from the streets above seemed too loud. Spreading his legs to drop his center of gravity, he called his true self to the surface, giving his eyes the ability to see elsewhere. As soon as his wings appeared, black snakes rose out of the shadows and raced at him, sliding back and forth on the cement.

His Cupid bow released three arrows before they had closed half the distance, and he hoped for some gender differences between the snakes, or at least a beneficial, to him, sexual orientation, so the lust would distract them. No effect. Snapping down his skateboard where it leaned against his leg, he jumped on it, using his right foot to push it hard, and he beat his tiny wings for what little help they could give to move faster.

The ramps all led up. The final stage of the geocache was in the bottom of the old Sears catalog building, three floors below ground. One of the periodic bumps lifted the board off the ground enough he turned it on edge to use a column to bank, aiming up a ramp. Two lights behind him snapped off; no sparks or flares, just dark. Spinning on the board to look behind, he saw the snakes enter one end of the deep shadows and exit the other end the next instant.

Cheaters.

Well, two can play at that game. Rounding another column, he reached out and crushed a chunk out. Twisting the board around, he took aim and threw the mass of concrete at one.

It sailed through the insubstantial creature.

The way the snakes were acting, they weren’t going to be insubstantial when they closed.

His arrows had hit them.

He likely could hit them too, thanks to his frisky pop’s sperm donation to his mom. Eros, like every Greek god in existence, couldn’t keep it under the toga, and Mom was never what you would call discerning in her choice of male companionship. But Eros was no Zeus, and Raff was no Hercules. Snakes would win if he wrestled. Coils trump arrows.

Making for a bank of bright lights, hoping to slow them down, Raff switched his push leg. Did Psyche send the snakes after him in revenge for Cupid’s wandering ways, like Hera did on Hercules? She hadn’t seemed upset, just tired, when Eros brought him by at age thirteen to get his bow. The one and only time he met his dad.

Maybe one of the other living mortal Cupids were ticked off at the new guy. But he wasn’t the new guy anymore, Shewon over in Tibet had that dubious honor, hitting thirteen last week. At nineteen, Raff was now one of the old guys and no longer the most powerful Cupid and well glad to be rid of it. Were any of the other twelve pissed off at him and had been waiting for his powers to drop?

The lights slowed them down. Though a few of florescent winked out so shadows became available for the snakes to slither through, the deep dark allowing the teleportation they had used before did not result. Raff had vaguely missed that aspect of being the head Cupid once he had his life back; having a life way outweighed the benefits of the extra magic, even if that life mostly focused on earning his GED after six year helping strangers hook up. Now he really wanted to blink up to the afternoon sunlight to keep his life, sad though it was, intact.

The ramp between level B and A was completely in the dark. He jumped off the board, flipped it into his hands and ran up the pavement.

The fastest snake exited the dark at the same time he did, snapping at his feet with its triangular head. Triangle means poison, right? Missing out on all of high school killed everything science. Popping around the world let him see its wonders, but he didn’t understand any of it. Fortunately his high ankle sneakers kept the fangs from breaking skin. Calling his bow back to his hands, he dropped his board, swung the bow to crack the creature on its jaw, then ran once he was free to jump on the board and start moving again. The first shadow snake’s brethren joined it after it reoriented on him.

Too close. He wasn’t going to make it.

(words 807; first published 8/26/2018)

Other Cool Blogs: i09 March 4, 2017

Erin Penn

Meme created by Erin Penn

Cultural appropriation is a bitch – a bitch to define and a bitch to have happen. One of the easiest versions to spot is Whitewashing, where a written work is converted to the screen (movie or TV) and the main character is replaced with a person of the dominant-economic-melanin levels for the culture. In normal words – when Hollywood takes a black, yellow, or red character and washes them with white big-ticket lead.

The spectrum of humanity should be seen in books AND on the screen. i09 website wrote an article about a “Powerful video shows why Ghost In The Shell whitewashing has real consequences.”

The video talked about in the article is below:

For the fifth Thursday of the month, I am going to review the 2017 portion of my blog for the Smurfette Principle, the Bechdel Test, plus the gender and melanin splits as promised during last year’s “Made Me Look“, “Fail (Part 1)“, and “Fail (Part 2)” blogs. The world is diverse, writing should be as well.

WATCHING EXERCISE: Go through you recent Netflix watched list, your DVD collection, or what is playing and/or coming out in movies – look at at least 30 of them. How many of the movies are whitewashed? How many star female characters with agency and how many have male leads? Are any characters non-binary? How many of the movies have characters which are not “you” (i.e., black, white, Asian, male, female, etc)? How many leads are non-white? (In a group of 30 movies, if going with America’s racial mix, 4.5 should be black, 1.5 should be Asian, and 4 should be immigrants.)

WRITING EXERCISE: Choose a movie to watch where the director made a conscious choice to avoid whitewashing the characters. Write a blog or a Facebook post reviewing the movie.

Word of mouth drives Hollywood, make a difference.

***

ADDITION: Whitewashing can involve fictional covers. See “Sci-Fi Author Nnedi Okorafor Says Publishers Whitewashed Her Book Cover” (Huffpost by Maddie Crum, 3/14/2017)