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Writing Exercise: Flashback

Image courtesy of Serge Bertasius Photography at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Providing backstory is a constant challenge to writers. Sometimes the bits in pieces dropped in during dialog and narrative are not enough. How can one deliver a huge chunk of backstory without bogging the story down? Because that is usually what happens, a huge exposition dump of the “history” is delivered in a tell-not-show fashion killing momentum.

One of the ways to work around this is deliver the backstory in an action-narrative format similar to the rest of the manuscript via a flashback. The problem with that is the transitions between the flashback and narrative aren’t smooth.

WRITING EXERCISE: Attempt to create the transition for a flashback, including the transition back into the story. Don’t write the flashback or the story, just the transition bits.

***

My attempt

“Oh, you want to know what happened.” She drew her foot back and forth on the ground looking pensive. “It all started at the library…”

***

Darkness swallowed the library entrance. Yeah, going in was stupid, but I was fifteen, the definition of stupid.

(fill in the blank)

The bodies dissolved and the smoke settled as we sisters looked at each other in our living room, gasping for breath.

***

“…and fortunately the blood washed out of the carpet before the parents got home from their date night.” She smiled. “Everyone was in bed, teeth brushed, so no harm, no foul, right?”

(first published 10/24/2015; republished new blog format 11/26/2019)

Video: Beginnings

NaNoWriMo is happening. As announced on Oct 31st with my special song, I am participating again. So far I am at 34K of the 50 goal.  If I was on track, I would be at 41K – but I’ll take 34,000 words. That isn’t a bad month’s production and there are still 5 days left. The “novel” I am attempting is UFOs – not science fiction, but Unfinished Objects. Writings started and abandoned.

A big part of this has been getting my blog in order. I am super caught up, though not completely caught up. Soon, though, soon. Related is expanding certain categories of the blog into things. The Write Good book series based off of the writing exercises. Finishing the AtoZ stories from April, into their collection of the Small Courages of Giants. Getting the flashes in order for actual expansion into short stories and books, and in response to requests on patreon for more if people are willing to throw money at the idea. And, most important, dealing with the fact I no longer have a backlog of flashes for my Sunday posts. 

That is going to be a challenge going forward. I’m thinking my 2020 posts, at least initially will be – first week, expanding old flashes; second week, digging up old and new D&D campaign stories where I wrote things up in detail; and then third week new text flashes and four week new visual flashes with the fifth Sunday being the long flash. Plus, if the patreon (https://www.patreon.com/erinpenn) gets some people, I’ve promised unique-to-them Flash expansions and ongoing bits from my work-in-progress. Hopefully that will really kickstart my writing. I seem to do better when I feel obligations.

This level of output has done well this month. I don’t know if it is sustainable. I got a year to test it out.

Finally for the expanding certain categories of the blog, I’ve been bouncing around the idea in my head and with friends about maybe, sort-of bringing my Editing Rants to video format.

(Aiii!, while writing this I got my first patreon … Hi, Bruce. Thank you!)

Anyway, I made a thing as part of NaNoWriMo. Hope this entertains and informs.

 

 

Flash: An Infidelity of Hearts

Photo by marin from FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Hit me,” the brunette said after adding her last three gold coins to the pot, leaning on the table holding her cards in one hand and her fingers lingering on her wine glass, keeping track of it at all times. A wise choice in this dark casino where beautiful women were known to lose, not only at cards, but their virtue and even their lives.

The dealer slid the next card from his deck to her to replace the deuce she had discarded.

Around the table, others either folded or tossed in markers to match the raise and asked for cards. All the others were male and bought their lady luck. Fat cats content to let young things either rented at the door, or purchased elsewhere, drip diamonds advertising the status of their owners. A few of the females scattered around the vice den wore matching rings to their men, indicating a marriage contract, but none of the females at this high-roller table existed except for the value of their temporary beauty.

The brunette wore neither rings nor diamonds. Her simple sheathe clung to everything below her shoulders until it ended just over her knees, leaving nothing to the imagination, but also nothing completely known except the gown had been tailored to her person indicating money. The shoes didn’t scream any famous designer’s name; those who measure a person’s wealth by such things could not tell who made them, only the creator was neither famous nor an off-the-rack factory worker. Her hair, makeup, nails, and manners were all likewise unique, making the security and the grifters nervous.

Her money spent well. The transfer for the casino markers unquestioned, and since she didn’t play against the house, her slow winning throughout the afternoon and into the deep night had not removed her from contention as she moved up the food chain to the highest of the card tables.

No one raised her before the dealer returned to her seat, the pot already exceeding what most people outside the club’s doors would earn in a year, and had emptied the pockets of several of those sitting. This would be the end of their night’s entertainment, unless they asked for a credit extension from the house. Only the desperate or addicted were so foolhardy considering the temperament of the owners, yet every night someone did.

“Last bets.” The dealer called. No one added anything, though the grifter fingered his remaining twelve coins before passing. Starting on the woman’s right, people started flipping over their cards, pairs, triples, and even a full house.

The prize grifter at the table, the one the high-rollers come to beat each night turned over a four-of-a-kind in aces with the one king which hadn’t been part of the full house, a heart. “Sorry, hon. Maybe you can earn back your winnings in trade.”

Smiling at the professional, she laid down her cards one-by-one. Nine, ten, page, jack, and finally queen high. All of the same suit, as red as her gown. Nicknamed an Infidelity of Hearts on this planet, as the king had been replaced by the jack and page in the queen’s chambers, spread before her. Turning her attention to the dealer, she said, “I’m cashing out.”

Around the table, protests started.

“Sorry, gentlemen. But an Infidelity always is followed by bad luck. I must cash out.”

“Fair enough,” the grifter’s agreement silenced the protests. “Maybe another day.”

“I look forward to it.” The unknown woman drained her drink and took the slip the dealer passed her, looking to confirm the amount won before walking away.

***

The cage transferred her winnings back to the account where the money started, after Carin told them which tips to give to the tables she had worked that night. The dealers would know who tipped them as she was only one of three women betting their own money. While she didn’t plan on ever returning, certain traditions needed to be followed, otherwise the house wouldn’t let her walk out the door.

Securing her ID wand, she exited into the early morning hours, before the street lights raised to morning brightness on the tide-locked world, wondering how far she would get before something happened. The Torquatus mafia kept the area around the casino under tight surveillance. Carin gave it two blocks, when she officially left their territory.

Turns out, she underestimated their greed. Pity, she liked thinking about the romance of the mob.

Her kidnappers were pissed off when the wand’s firewalls eventually fell, revealing empty accounts. The money had bounced off-world before she had even stepped foot outside the Sloth’s doors.

But the night hadn’t been about her walking out with enough money to purchase a private asteroid.

She was bait for the slave trafficking. Torquantus had been too greedy, too often, and Carin and the mercenary unit she belonged to had been hired to bring it down completely. Waking up slightly bruised and very disoriented from the drugs, Carin felt a deep satisfaction to find herself naked and collared.

(Words 813; First published 11/29/2019)

Geeking Science: Lightsail in Time

Image courtesy of the Planetary Society

To celebrate today’s announcement (about the Time magazine article) the mission team released a new image from the spacecraft, taken on 28 September 2019. LIGHTSAIL 2 WITH SUN ON THE HORIZON – the Sun peeks over the horizon in this image from LightSail 2 captured on 28 September 2019. The sail appears curved due to the spacecraft’s 185-degree fisheye camera lens. The image has been color corrected and some of the distortion has been removed. (From the 11/21/2019 Kickstarter announcement)

In today’s (11/22/2019) Time Magazine, the LIghtsail was listed in the 100 Best Inventions of 2019.

It’s still up there. Still circling – well, ovaling at this point – the Earth. If you want to follow it, go to the Planetary Society Mission Control. One hundred forty-three days elapsed mission time. Battery charge down to 3.68 volts (from max of 4.2). When I looked this morning, it was a little cool at -5.5 degrees F and about to pass into daylight over the Pacific Ocean.

Geeking Science: The Search for Water

Image courtesy of namakuki at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We are bags of mostly water, about 60%, with the brains pushing 75% and lungs over 80%. When humans go into space, the second consideration after air (and air pressure) is water. With air, we face a volume transport problem – but air does compact nicely; though runs toward the explosive during the unpacking. Water, though, is a weight problem and nearly all the hard-to-impossible-to-solve problems with space travel so far have been weight problems.

How does one get off the planet? Fight the weight of gravity. How does one travel through space? Fight the weight of inertia. Every pound in space requires a force to get it off the planet and moving where we will want it to go. Places like the Moon for training and exploration, Mars for first stage colonization testing, and other stars for immigration.

All the best situations for long-term habitation in space are to have water already be there at the end. Yes, we can (and are) studying every manner recycling of water during the journeys. Controlling a dozen gallons per person recycled in a closed system has been challenging. Forward osmosis is just one of the many processes being studied.

But for colonization, where the need for water will be hundreds of gallons per person – not a few dozen – between the requirements for crops and manufacturing and washing and population growth, water must be at the other end. 

We are beginning to find it among the exo-planets. Our tech isn’t *quite* there yet – new cameras and satellites are coming on line to double-check initial findings. But we have some suspects. Each step, each discovery, brings us that much closer to the stars.

 

Bibliography

Astrobio.net. “Recycling water in space”. phys.org. 2011 June 20.https://phys.org/news/2011-06-recycling-space.html – last viewed 1 November 2019.

Damadeo, Kristyn. “NASA and Partner Announce Finalists in the 2019 Mars Ice Challenge”. nasa.gov. https://www.nasa.gov/feature/langley/nasa-and-partner-announce-finalists-in-the-2019-mars-ice-challenge – last viewed 1 November 2019.

Ghosh, Pallab. “Water found for the first time on ‘potentially habitable’ planet”. BBC News Science & Environment. 2019 September 12. https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-49648746?SThisFB – last viewed 1 November 2019.

Siegel, Ethan. “Does water freeze or boil in space?” medium.com. 2016 Dec 10. – last viewed 1 November 2019.