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Book Review: Because You Love to Hate Me

Erin Penn

Amazon Cover

BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON

This edgy anthology teams up acclaimed YA authors and popular YouTubers to create 13 fairy tales and 13 inspired works–all from a “villain’s” perspective, in the vein of Maleficent or Wicked.

Leave it to the heroes to save the world–villains just want to rule the world.

In this unique YA anthology, thirteen acclaimed, bestselling authors team up with thirteen influential BookTubers to reimagine fairy tales from the oft-misunderstood villains’ points of view.

These fractured, unconventional spins on classics like “Medusa,” Sherlock Holmes, and “Jack and the Beanstalk” provide a behind-the-curtain look at villains’ acts of vengeance, defiance, and rage–and the pain, heartbreak, and sorrow that spurned them on. No fairy tale will ever seem quite the same again!

MY REVIEW

This is very much a YA of the present (2019) generation. The villains are too sweet; all have justifications and are likable in the extreme. Some you might even rub elbows with. Each of them is someone a reader can understand and identify with.

I guess it is a good introduction to when villains are heroes in their own stories – but this feels more like what an 11 and 12 year old are fed rather than raising the moral questions a 13 and 14, let alone a 16 or 17, should be asking and investigating. The gimmick of the bloggers commenting actually improves the book in this regard. Some of the best writing is from them.

The Blood of Imuriv – Selfish boy with anger control issues. No where near as creepy as it should be. Blog commentary is A+.

Jack – A retelling of Jack in the Beanstalk. A lot of these are retelling of old myths and stories, and they suffer in comparison with the creepy, evil of the originals. This one doesn’t; it’s on par with Jack and the Beanstalk.

Gwen and Art and Lance – Another retelling, this one of Camelot. Very teen-angst. You can see where the evil is going to grow, but it isn’t true evil yet.

Shirley & Jim – Sherlock retelling. One of the few without the evil being the POV character. Love the villain and the relationship with the future hero. This one establishes everything which will follow and you can see it unspool in your mind after you are done reading. Great read.

The Blessing of Little Wants – I’m the wrong generation to enjoy this one. M. Night Shyanmalan’s movie is still too fresh in my head, and I saw the twist a mile away which deflated all the magic of this short story.

The Sea Witch – The little mermaid from a different point of view. The blogger questionnaire is interesting to answer.

Beautiful Venom – Medusa in a different mythos. Extra plus for diversity.

Death Knell – An original work, mostly. (I’m too widely read for delaying Death to be truly original.) Southern Gothic feel.

Marigold – Nice. This is how I like my elves in the woods to be. A historic piece that keeps several historic values of age and culture-stratus in place.

(Note that the three furthest from contemporary US culture (and that includes the sci-fi at the start) are grouped together – Beautiful Venom, Death Kneel, and Marigold.)

You, You It’s all about You – Don’t often see second person stories. This one pulls it off fairly well.

Julian Breaks Every Rule – This is one where the blogger gets it 100% right. The story needs to continue. (and yet it doesn’t – ends at a perfect time for a short story.) Captures both YA and villainy perfectly. This is what the whole anthology should have been like.

Indigo and Shade – Beauty and Beast retelling. Way too heavy-handed in trying to get parallels. It felt stiff; like a story constrained by the structure of the story it is emulating rather than a celebration like the previous short story of Jack.

Sera – Birth of a Death God. Has too many POVs to get emotionally invested in the story. This doesn’t disturb the way it should. The characters in the story has no agency – everything was destined from the beginning and no one had any choices. Either fighting or celebrating fate would have been more interesting.

Julian Breaks Every Rule and Marigold are what I hoped for the whole anthology to be like, with Jack, Shirley & Jim, You You It’s All About You, and Sera being close. The “villain” POV stories are a popular anthology sub-genre. This villain anthology concentrated on making the bad guys identify as good guys and neutered them too much in order to keep the YA feel. Villains don’t have to be likable; their willingness to do what needs doing is how a reader identifies with and envies them. Power has its own draw.

Read for book club; borrowed book from another member.

Flash: Song

Erin Penn

222054783 © British Library Commons | Dreamstime.com

“Then we are agreed.”

The lyricist shook hands with the demon. Just a simple trade, ten years’ worth of income for a song he had written. A normal transaction for him, just the royalties “sold for a song”. Nothing new. Except a better payment than most.

He screamed as the song and all its permutations were ripped from his mind and soul.

(words 62, first published 3/28/2022, from a FB word prompt (Song) for a writing group I belong to, aiming for around 50 words)

Geeking Science: Hydro-Power Pipes

Erin Penn

Acquired from the internet hivemind – Lucid Energy

Humans have been using water to create energy for a long time. Waterwheels, mills, and hydro-electric dams as just a few of the tools used to feed the hunger for energy through the constant flow of water of the Earth’s water system.

An interesting variation has come up for hydro-electric power. Water flowing through the BIG pipes of a city, going downhill, operates the turbine within the pipe producing electricity to help with other parts of the water system and feed into the city grid.

Limitations. First, the flow over the turbine needs to be just water, so this needs to be in the clean water system, not the sewer system or the storm water system. Otherwise the debris will get caught in the turbine. Therefore the water is flowing from the water cleaning plants TO the houses and plants.

Second, the flow needs to be going downhill, not pumped uphill. Otherwise the energy produced by the turbine is used for the pump – an overall loss.

Third, the amount of turbines will never be enough to power a city, not like a full dam. This is a micro-solution, a support system, not a replacement.

Pluses. No need to worry about drought, sun, or wind. This is city water and needs a constant flow to feed the city’s needs. 

Second plus, tapping into something that is already there. Nothing needs to be dammed. No environmental impact. No harm of other species – keeping fishes from going upstream or flooding habitats. The pipes are already built.

Third plus, micro-solutions provide a multi-tier reaction plan, allowing for flexibility throughout the year and in different weathers.

Portland is just one of the many cities around the world testing out the viability of this technology.

Find out more here:

Lempriere, Molly. “Can a city’s water infrastructure produce hydropower?” power-technology.com. 2018 October 15. https://www.power-technology.com/features/city-water-infrastructure-hydropower/ (last viewed 3/29/2022; note as of 4/26/2024 the link no longer works)

Schwartz, Rafi. “Portland Now Generates Electricity From Turbines Installed in City Water Pipes.” earthmaven.io. 2019 March 21. (last viewed 3/29/2022)

Editing Rant: As You Know Bob

Erin Penn 1 Comment

Image courtesy of the internet Hivemind

You know something is a common issue when TV Tropes has an entire section devoted to defining it and providing examples. “As you know, Bob…” has just such a section.

And still, it persists.

What exactly is an “As you know, Bob” moment? It’s when characters share information which is common knowledge to those involved but might be unknown to the reader. For example:

“As you know Bob, cell phones had a major jump in technology when microprocessors because atom sized.” Bob-two said in the traditional speech of the twentieth century.

Bob responded in the way of modern people *Yes, Bob-two, and then bioprogramming allowed us to integrate it into our DNA allowing us to have the appearance of telepathy if a visitor from the past should visit our space-faring culture.* (As you know bob – 67 words)

These two Bobs both know all of this, having received learned this information years ago. To have them talk about it makes no sense. And yet something along these lines happens all the time in books and television.

The challenge is how does a writer provide the information to the reader without doing a data dump or having a “As you know Bob” moment? How to show without telling?

The following ways are popular: (1) a school setting where background information is shared such as in this Firefly video where the background of colonization is taught to River Tam at the beginning of the Serenity movie. (2) a military briefing where everyone may or may not know all the details and the military is going to make sure everyone knows. (3) a data dump – sometimes you just got to go with informing the readers.

And the best option, integrate into the narrative. Imply and trust your reader.

“Bob, toss me the spanner will you?” Bob-two’s voice rasped from the strain of shouting over the machines.

*When are you going to give in and get the bio-app, you old fossil?* The maintenance apprentice sent to the external-bud the master guildsman had tucked into his ear. The younger man chucked the lightweight alumcarb spanner over.

Bob-two snatched it midair, ignoring the question, instead turning his attention to mechanism which required mechanic intervention. The thought of reprogramming his DNA gave him hives. (As you know bob-two – 83 Words)

WRITING EXERCISE: Create an “As you know Bob” scene of 100 words or less, then change it so it works without the lazy writing trope. Share the results below if you want.

Flash: Gynock (Part 3)

Erin Penn

Rating Mature

Gynock and his wife Destinee had a long history which didn’t come into play much during the game, but the original history the player had given me was rich. The obsession Moonblossom had laid upon him could only change his emotions, not his past. A past with a wife who was much more dangerous than he.

Part 3 starts with a window into their past, a flashback. When Gynock remembers the last time he saw his wife’s eyes turn into black murder.

She had been eight months preggers and he wasn’t getting any. At barely nineteen, this was the end of the world. He was passionately in love with Destinee, but she wouldn’t marry him, wasn’t interested in doing the deed and he was pretty sure she was going to cut out the moment she popped. His ex-comrade in-arms hated being clumsy, hated not being able to breathe, hated being stuck in one place and she was taking it all out on the cause of her discomfort, him.

And this pretty blond co-ed asked for extra lessons at his dojo. When the student locked lips with him, he just let his second brain do the thinking. They were in a compromising, but not too compromising position when Destinee had waddled into the dojo from the office where she worked as his secretary and was sleeping because it was too hard to walk up the steps to their flat. The only bathroom on this floor was in the foyer.

Her eyes flared black. The only time he had seen that look before, she had killed five men so fast he hadn’t even seen it happen. He was worried, but the girl didn’t know better and had all the confidence of someone new to the martial arts. “Oh, hi.” She purred.

“What do you think you are doing?” came the clipped, emotionless reply. It was as though death was talking.

“I’m getting private lessons.” And the undergrad stretched up from where they had fallen.

“Oh really, let’s see how it’s coming.” And motioned the girl to stand.

Gynock had stood hastily and tried to intercede. But before half a syllable had passed through his lips, the woman carrying his baby interrupted. “You’re next. Stand there.” And she pointed. After a half a lifetime with her as the Sensei, he obeyed automatically. He had been very young.

Then the graceless, short ball of human flesh proceeded to show the tall, lithe beauty just how little a yellow belt knows. Destinee limited all the moves she made to the martial form he had been teaching, which made the fight that more pitiful to watch, knowing the breadth of action the expert was capable of. Gynock felt very sorry for his student, but also felt pride in his woman. The girl didn’t have a single mark on her at the end of the bout, but would be aching for days. In the end, Destinee had the child in a submission hold. “Yes, I can see you need more lessons. I expect you back when we reopen next week.” She said in her third deadliest voice. The girl gulped and nodded quickly, getting the message.

“I can’t hear you.”

“Yes.” came the forceful whisper.

“Yes, Sensei.”

“Yes, Sensei.” came the voice stronger but shakier. Destinee let go the wrist and hand and the co-ed ran fled.

The girl did return, most likely terrified not to. Before she graduated from the local college, she had a first-degree black belt. Destinee participated in all of the girl’s classes, and even kept her for private lessons.

Facing the swinging door instead of the back of the room where he was located, Destinee said “Your turn.” The voice was now in its second deadliest mode.

Maybe he would have had a better showing if he hadn’t been trying to avoid damaging the fetus.

When Destinee checked him in the emergency room, she described each of his “suspected” injures with great confidence. That when he knew she had chosen every move she had used on him; he still had a lot to learn. Everything was healed by the time his daughter was born, but just barely.

He had had to get home from the hospital on his own. As his ribs were being taped, Destinee said she needed to finish working off steam and left. Four days later when his dislocated shoulder had healed enough for him to reopen the dojo, she had returned.

Looking angry and scared at the same time, she stated. “I am ready to get married.”

“Why?” he blurted out before he could stop it. He had been asked for a wedding ever since he discovered that she was pregnant. Master Damien had taught him to be honorable and take responsibility. She had been totally against it.

She shrugged, but it was more staged than nonchalant, and said “I find that I don’t want to lose you.” Not exactly a declaration of love, that didn’t come until years later, but close from someone who wanted no ties. They were wed before nightfall.

He never was officially told where she had gone to work off steam, but, according to the newspaper, the drug dealers in Houston had a short war during those same four days. Just over a score, in singles and pairs, had been alternately shot, sliced and beaten to death. Twenty-three men in their prime stalked by one pregnant woman who could barely walk. They never had a chance.

***

And now she was leaping at him, black eyed again. He instinctually summoned a shadow cloud and sidestepped, dropping into obscurity. She twisted in midair and hit him low across the knees unbalancing him. The swords kept his back from flexing properly to take the blow and remain standing so he fell hard to the ground. The hellcat and him tumbled a bit, until he actually got her in a hold that she couldn’t break. It was the first time ever that he had won a sparring match and not felt she had gone easy on him. For a long time, he had had an advantage with size and strength, but her dexterity and real-world experience made her slightly better. The ring had changed that equation. His eyes slowly moved their way down from the dangerous hands he just captured, stopping a moment at the small tattoo of a dagger she had on the inside of her left arm just below the bend of the elbow and coming to rest on the ebony eyes.

He took the prize they normally exchanged at the end of a match, and leaned down to kiss her. That shifted his grip enough that she freed herself, and the battle was restarted only with a new tension.

After exhausting himself and her, he dropped the useless shadows. Then it hit him, how he betrayed the goddess with this vixen. Pushing the wench off of him, he rolled over and vomited. As the few contents of his stomach traveled back up the route that they had entered his body, he started prayfully apologizing under his breath for this betrayal.

Destinee forcibly rolled him back, her eyes now filled with concern, not anger. “What’s wrong?”

“You raped me and I didn’t stop you.” He muttered, ashamed at his weakness.

She jerked back as though he slapped her. “You were enjoying it as much as I a moment ago.”

“No, …. maybe,” he said, “brainwashing from when I was a kid.”

She looked at him a little longer, horror, anger and caring all dancing across her face. “Right.” With that she grabbed his coat from the floor, and headed out the door putting her bare arms into the too-long sleeves. The tails and chain dragged on the floor behind her. Knowing how quickly she moved once she made a decision, and fearful for his love’s life, he grabbed his pants and followed her through the progressively brighter areas. Fortunately the residential quarters were all at reduced night lighting.

He caught up with her shorter legs when she arrived at the Pit, the great open area where the secretarial pool was located. Corridors sprayed out around the room leading to the different units. “What are you doing?” he asked.

Advancing on the door that was located just behind her work desk, she answered “I am going to find out what that witch did to you.” Since she wasn’t continuing to the prisoner area, he relaxed a little.

“How?” he asked.

“Research, idiot” came the angry words. And she sat in Ethan’s chair and started warming up his computer. As a precaution he entered the room with her, in case she decided to have a more direct approach later. He had to protect his love, but wasn’t certain even after that last battle if he could take the trained assassin. After all she hadn’t tried any killing moves on him, she still was holding back. He sat in the chair he had been debriefed in a few hours before and put on his jeans. “You too,” she ordered, “Get your portable and pull everything we have on that Thing.”

(words 1,441; first published 7/12/2020)