Image acquired without permission from (multiple) Facebook postings
Author: Erin Penn
Editing Rant: Choose a Color
Image courtesy of Jody Helund from blog entry: When should writers get critiques
Used with permission
Introduction to Editing Rants and Choosing a Color
I mentioned I do line editing for small presses. I took up this occupation to become a better writer. By reviewing other people’s works, I get a better understanding of what can go wrong where.
I’ve come to have a whole ‘nother level of respect for editors of all sorts. As a line editor I concentrate on the middle ground. Content editors, macro editors, are the ones who make the book better – get the right number of characters, tell the writer if they need additional plot lines, and help figure out where the story actually starts. Proofreaders, micro editors, get the grammar, punctuation, and spelling. In between is the undefined world of line editing. I fact check and find POV switches within a paragraph. I point out word and phrase choices that may need clarification and find objects appearing in the end of the book but not the beginning. All things that annoy or make the story smoother.
And when going over a manuscript for the second or third time, I sometimes break down and have rants. My online writer’s group has informed me that the information I share (they are so polite – more accurate would be half-insane sleep-deprived gibberish appearing at midnight) has helped them. So I thought I would clean up some of those rants, to protect the guilty, and share them here for your amusement and edification about once a month.
Rant from November 30, 2015
“choose a colour” (editing for British this week) – Bold & underline for emphasis – oh and gray/grey – “a” is American and “e” is England
Its skin had dulled to an unhealthy greyish shade, and a nasty chunk was missing from its arm. The skin hung horribly and held an odd, green tint.
And yes, these two sentences were back to back in the manuscript. I recommended combining into one and choosing a color. During initial phases of writing and later in revision, it is easy to add repetitive phrasing as the author tests things to find the correct one. I’ve had everyone in a romance book have “brilliant blue eyes”, and other times the hero and heroine eye colors switch.
Eye color changing falls under a “continuity error”. If you are a writer, I recommend doing an edit just on person and clothing description. Choose a color and make certain you stick with it – be it eye color or skin color.
So have you ever as a reader or a writer found issues related to color switching? Spill in the comments below!
Flash: Special Night
Image courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net
“You are going through with this, aren’t you?” Rober accused Drew.
Drew ran around the kitchen doing last minute preparations; he couldn’t believe Rober had cut his business trip short to revisit the argument he thought settled two months ago. He wouldn’t have started the down this path if he didn’t believe he had Rober’s full support. “It’s the only way with the new laws.”
“Damn politicians need to get out of the bedroom.”
“It’s not the bedroom that is the issue, it’s the nursery.” Drew pulled out the chicken breasts to lay a couple slices of Swiss cheese on them and pour a splash of wine before returning the entrée to the oven. “And society has the responsibility to regulate the care and training of its future members.”
“The only reason to restrict artificial insemination to married couples it to keep gays from making babies.” Rober growled. He bit back several curses about republicans and conservative values, knowing Drew’s adamant support of tradition, even after a decade under the military’s don’t ask-don’t tell. Or was that especially after serving an institution that specialized in hating homosexual and brainwashing its members?
“True. And in a couple years it will tumble because of the discrimination. Already single women everywhere are fighting the law.”
“Then wait … or go to Canada. Or Europe.” Rober begged.
Drew shook his head as he carried the salad to the formally set table. “No, I want our child to be an American.”
“It’s not our child!” Rober grabbed the smaller, but stronger man by the shoulders. “We can’t have children. It will be you and this slut.”
Drew broke away. “Brie is not a slut.”
“Prostitute, then. She will be having sex for money.”
“Because it is the only way!”
“No, it’s not.” Rober countered. “We could adopt.”
“I want at least one my own child, not someone else’s.” Drew said firmly, adding some bread to the oven for final warming. “We can adopt a couple more later, but I want one of mine now.”
“Hypocrite. You talk about overpopulation but are just adding to the problem when thousands of children are looking for dads.”
“And you know how hard it is for a single person to adopt. I’ve been trying ever since I left the Navy. Somehow I never qualify.” Drew’s sarcastic tone admitted he knew why he didn’t qualify even after serving two tours in the Mid-East.
“So you are just going to pay a woman to have sex and carry your kid.” Rober threw up his hands. “That is just sick and obsessive.”
The doorbell rang as they stared daggers at each other.
“Guess that is your whore. Have fun tonight.”
Rober popped the collar of his sweater and stalked out the glass doors leading to their deck and down to the bench. He didn’t look back.
(474 words – originally appearing at Breathless Press 10/21/13 for the 8/5/12 Sunday Fun and published on Erin Penn’s First Base blog on 11/3/2013. Republished under the new format for 1/10/2016.)\
Other Cool Blogs: Magical Words December 9, 2015
Cover from Amazon
Fictional Holidays
I love Magical Words as a reader, writer, and editor. Member bloggers include self-published, small house published, and big house published individuals. And they know their craft.
For example, Gail Z. Martin’s December 9, 2015 post on world-building. (see http://www.magicalwords.net/really-i-mean-it/world-building-with-holidays/
Adding the layer of Holidays to your world can help define the values of your world, what they spend money on, and how they celebrate.
WRITING EXERCISE – After reviewing the above blog, create a fictional holiday for your world and/or work-in-progress.
My present work-in-progress, Cons of Romance, is set in contemporary America and actually has some world-building based on holidays. A lot of conventions cluster about holidays, because the long weekends allow people to take time off. I tried to tie my fictional conventions to real American holidays, which made added an interesting twist for my world-building.
The first convention is located in Maryland during March. I will come back to it.
The second convention, “GearFest,” is set in North Carolina during June and is only a two-day convention because it doesn’t fall on a holiday weekend. I specifically wanted this to be a short convention.
The third convention, “Tea Party,” is set over the July 4th weekend and is located in Boston.
The fourth convention, “WyvernCon”, is located in September over the Labor Day weekend and runs nearly five days.
Again all conventions are fictional and created specifically for this romance novel.
Back to the first convention. I had decided the convention started life on the main character’s, Tara Miller, college campus and was tied to a holiday in Maryland. I wanted the convention to happen before June but after the weather started to get warm. Something that wouldn’t interfere with finals but warm enough people wouldn’t get snowed in. Low and behold Maryland Day is March 25th. Thus my fictional “ConButtony” (a Cross Buttony appears on the distinctive flag of Maryland) was born.
YOUR TURN – Comment below about your use of holidays in a work-in-progress or, if you are a reader, a book you enjoyed specific for the holidays such as Hogfather by Terry Pratchett.
Flash: Their Bench
Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
The November sunset reflected shades of reds from the treetops below. Julia sat down on Their Bench and waited. The bite in the air made her draw the jacket closer. The leaves rustled in the trees and tumbled across the ground in the slight breeze. Darkness snuck into the park through lengthening shadows.
Eventually, a brief touch on her hand gave away the second arrival. “Has it been a year already?” asked the masculine voice she loved for so long.
Carefully keeping her eyes forward Julia responded. “Yes.” She paused, enjoying the quiet moment. “Your son took a couple classes over the summer. He will be graduating come Christmas.”
“I wish I could see it.”
“So do I,” Julia said with a misty smile. She turned her hand over and felt the finger clasp hers. The warmth made her glad she hadn’t given into the urge to put on gloves earlier. His other hand reached up to tuck some stray hairs behind her ears. Julia made her eyes bore into the cement pad in front of the bench.
“He brought home a friend he met at college.”
“A girlfriend?” Came the prideful response.
A laugh escaped Julia. “Oh, he has had several of those. No one special yet.” The soccer field lights started to wink out as the park closed. “No, this friend was older. A graduate student who had been tutoring him. … We hit it off.”
“Oh.” The whisper escaped the other.
Julia waited for more. Eventually the question she knew he would ask followed. “Does he make you happy?”
“Very much.”
“Does Leroy approve?”
She nearly turned her head to watch his reaction, but caught herself. “He gave me the same speech I gave him when he was 16, complete with the condoms. Be careful, be safe, and be kind.”
Together they sat as the night aged.
“You won’t be coming back…next year,” he stated sometime after midnight.
“It’s been fourteen years.”
“So long, it’s been so long” he sighed. “I will miss you.”
A gentle brush of lips and wetness touched her cheek.
“I will always miss you.” she returned.
Dawn found the park bench empty of all except a touch of frost.
(368 words – originally published on 11/14/2012; republished in new blog format 1/3/2016)