A to Z – Page 12 – Erin Penn's Second Base

L is for Loss

April 13, 2019April 24, 2024 Erin Penn

Jazz winced and couldn’t keep a moan from crossing her lips when Neil went over one of the many speed humps in his gated community.

“I’m sorry,” he said, quickly glancing at her in the passenger seat of the family mini van.

“It’s alright,” Jazz said as she braced for the next one. “Not your fault.”

“It’s just that–“

“I know. It’s alright.” Jazz reassured, using up energy beyond which she had to hide the effects of going over the humps as much as she could. She hadn’t felt them going in, thanks to a fantastic new painkiller, but it had worn off and now her joints and spine were making up for lost time. “Don’t mind me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You’re not. This is just my normal. It’s okay.”

They both breathed a sigh of relief when they got out of the condo neighborhood and onto normal streets.

“I’m sorry to be such a bother.” Jazz muttered as Neil sped up after the turn, and then slowed down for the next light, causing a rocking motion not nearly as painful as the hump up and down, but still did not make her spine or legs happy.

Neil looked in the rear view mirror, assuring himself Courtney followed in Jazz’s car. Neil didn’t fit into Jazz’s little vehicle, and it was easier to load Jazz’s walker into the van. “You’re not. A bother that is.”

“You guys just spent a long day for the party, and now you got to drive me home,” she argued.

Neil shook his head while staring ahead, waiting for the light to change. “We told you we needed to do grocery shopping anyway. This isn’t anything big, right?”

“You shouldn’t need to do it.” Jazz moved her leg to verify her purse was in the car. She couldn’t remember bringing it out of the house; sometimes the drugs screwed with her memory. “I should be able to drive myself. I don’t know what I was thinking trying to come out.”

“Well, I for one am glad you came, right? Having you there meant the world to Elisa, and we had a great time.”

“So did I, but I really don’t want to be a burden.” Jazz watched as the shopping centers passed by.

“You’re not.”

Jazz looked over to study Neil’s face. He was the newest partner to her best friend, and she hadn’t spent much time with him. “Don’t lie.”

He sighed. “I don’t lie, right? Not good at the whole social nice thing. That is what we got Elisa for.”

“Then you are in trouble.” Jazz laughed gently. Harder would have hurt.

“I know, right?” Neil smiled over at her quickly before returning his attention to the busy road. “We wanted you there. I wanted you there. You are one of the most important people in Elisa’s life, and I am glad you could make it. Got that?”

“Alright.” Jazz let the conversation pause, but eventually the driving thought of not driving herself came out. “I just feel like a failure.”

“For what?”

“For not making it. For having you drive me instead of taking care of it.” Jazz wave her hand out at the everything. “For just, … not.”

“You did great.”

“I did not. I fell down at the end.”

A to Z Short Story List Breakdown

Rainbow Spectrum (A to F)

Marathon Party (G to M)
4/8/2019 – G is for Gobi
4/9/2019 – H is for Horse
4/10/2019 – I is for Sherbet
4/11/2019 – J is for Jazz
4/12/2019 – K is for Keeper
4/13/2019 – L is for Loss
4/15/2019 – M is for Marathon

K is for Keeper

April 12, 2019April 24, 2024 Erin Penn

Rating: Mature – Language

Jazz sat in her chair and tried not to cry. The party run long, and then she had stayed to keep Elisa on the sofa instead of popping up to help clean up. The painkiller had worn off exactly three minutes ago, and the soft cloudy wall between her and her pain crumbled instantly.

Elisa finally noticed her friend had gone silent. “You okay?”

A twisted smile pushed through. “Sure.” Then Jazz reminded herself this was Elisa, and Elisa had promised to make her watch the entire Twilight trilogy the next time Jazz lied to her about her problems. “As much as always.”

“So, you are crap right now.” The redhead looked concerned, this time for real.

“Crap, flushed, passed through the sewer and eaten by rats.”

“And thank you for that image!” Neil said, leaning on the couch’s high ornate back.

Courtney collapsed in the oversize and overstuffed chaise lounge. “It was brilliant; I’m stealing it for my next screenplay.” She pulled out her phone and tapped herself a note.

“Anything we can do?” Elisa asked.

Jazz shook her head, then stopped a moment before nodding. “I don’t think I can drive myself home.”

“You can crash here.” Neil instantly offered.

“Can’t. I didn’t pack extra pills.” She winced, changing position to get the triad all comfortably within her field of vision. “As much as I love too.”

“Neil and I can drive you home.” Courtney offered as an option. “I’ll follow in the mini; we need to go shopping anyway and restock the fridge. We had emptied it for the party goods and now don’t have anything for next week.”

“I really–”

“Not another word.” Elisa ordered. “They aren’t going out of their way. Not much. Maybe ten minutes and you are worth that.”

“But–”

Neil interrupted. “Jazz, look, we just had a big party with a lot of friends and not-friends-but-blood. Everyone gave us a few hours of their time, right?”

“Yes, but–”

“Except you.” Courtney continued. “You gave us today, and all of tomorrow. Likely the day following that as well as yesterday. Four days, not four hours. We can drive you ten damn minutes out of our way.”

Elisa smiled. “You think I am worth four days of your life. Let us show how much you mean to us, okay?”

“You’re family more than anyone I am tied to by blood.” Courtney avowed.

“Ditto,” said Neil.

The two looked at Elisa. “What? I got a sane family, and they are cool.”

“Yeah.” “True.” Courtney and Neil agreed at the same time.

Jazz laughed. She had lived at Elisa’s house while they were growing up as much as Elisa had lived at hers. “I give.”

“Speaking of giving, we were wondering…” Courtney started.

Neil rubbed his wrists before dropping a hand to Elisa’s head. “Really, now?”

“Well, we are all together.” Courtney pointed out before turning her attention back to Jazz. “You don’t have to make a decision right now.”

“Really, you don’t.” Elisa inserted. “In fact, I won’t take an answer right now. You need to sleep and recover from this. Ping me on Monday or Tuesday next week.”

“Okay, now you are scaring me guys. Like when you announced the pregnancy with the parasite story.” Jazz sagged backwards, not having any energy left, but also not ready to leave, but then that also required energy.

“My company is sending me overseas for two months, starting about a week after the baby is due.” Neil said from where he stroked Elisa’s hair.

“And my movie is finally ready to film.”

Jazz could see where this was going. “The week after the baby is due.”

“Better.” She grimaced. “On his fucking due date, and the producers are activating the clause which requires me to be on location if I want to have input on rewrites. If I don’t show, the Insipid Karl gets full control.” Courtney wiped her face with her hand. “Did you see what he did with Shadow Stalker? He did that in two week, my story need four weeks of filming.”

Elisa waved her hand encompassing everyone in the room. “And they were kind-of hoping you could stay with me for the duration.”

“I’ll be as much trouble as the baby.” Jazz protested.

Elisa shook her head. “You take care of yourself all the time. If it is a bad day, you can stay in the guest room downstairs. Everything will be downstairs until Courtney comes back anyway since these two are being Nervous Nellies. Please. Think about it.”

“You know Elisa hates to be alone.” Courtney pointed out.

Elisa was a full-on extrovert and being by herself any length of time always had driven her nuts. She was lucky she had two people in love with her. Three if Jazz was counted, and she kind-of thought she did. Not romantic love, but it was a forever-type of love none-the-less.

Jazz agreed, “Yeah, she really does.”

“You can lie in bed, and we can just talk or read or watch movies between me sleeping and feeding the baby. Just be there for me, please?”

“No pressure.” Neil reminded Elisa.

“Fuck that!” Elisa whipped her head around. “I’m pregnant!”

“Can’t wait until I get to start using that excuse.” Courtney scooted forward on the chaise and stood up.

Neil looked at Jazz. “What am I getting myself into again?”

“A house full of people who love you.”

Neil smiled at Jazz. “Yeah.” He rubbed the faded scars marring his wrists. “So let’s get you home, and please send your text at 12:01 am on Monday otherwise Elisa is going to drive us nuts.”

A to Z Short Story List Breakdown

Rainbow Spectrum (A to F)

J is for Jazz

April 11, 2019April 24, 2024 Erin Penn 3 Comments

Rating: Mature (Discussion, not action – last sentence)

“So what is your disease?” Courtney’s sister asked, rotating her body in the folding chair to face Jazz while Bobby, who had been Babs at the Valentine day party, made a paper plate hat of bows for Elisa while others of the party dug through the wrapping paper looking for stray bows now the gifts were completely unwrapped.

Jazz looked over at Elisa, debating on how to answer. Courtney’s family had not been happy when she had came out as a lesbian in college, and were even more unhappy when Courtney fell in love with Elisa when the two of them worked sets for a vampire movie, then eloped a month later. Now, Neil in the mix confused them all over again. To them love required rings, and rules, and scriptures, and genders. Emotions, friendship, and trust weren’t even in their vocabulary. And it showed in every interaction Jazz had with the family since she watched her best friend exchange her wedding vows.

If she named her disease, Tiffany would do what everyone else always does. Option one would be say she had a friend who had it and it was much worse and Jazz shouldn’t be wallowing her problems. Option two would be a friend who had it and could function like a normal person, so Jazz should be able to do that too. Option three, which was the most annoying, would be helpful suggestions of a herbal remedy, or a doctor or massage therapist or yoga instructor, like Jazz didn’t spend every hour of every day searching and researching her problems.

Jazz didn’t have the spoons for it.

“Oh, I got walking death, the pre-zombie syndrome, so I’m not really good with the walking.” Jazz grinned as perky as she could. “The pills help keep me above ground and contagious.”

On her other side, a friend from the high school theater crowd choked on her punch. Hunter would be fine in a moment. On the other hand, Tiffany leaned away, then got up and moved to another chair.

Rasping, Hunter commented, “That’s evil.”

“It worked.”

“Not arguing.” She cleared her throat, not taking another sip just yet. “We are going to have to tell Elisa.”

“You’re the actress, you tell her.” Jazz turned and smiled at Hunter. “By the way, saw your back in Price Leader. Great extra shot. They nearly had you in half-profile for a tenth of a second.”

“I have you know I got a speaking part in a commercial last week.”

Seeing the disaster cleanup was nearly complete, Jazz leaned closer to whisper. “Congratulations, a mother part?”

“Yeah, I’ve finally grown old enough to be what everyone wants to typecast me as. I think my career is about to take off.”

“We all seem to finally getting that age.”

“As my six- and twelve-year-old remind me constantly.”

Courtney clapped her hands for attention. “Next up, name the baby, grab some of the pastel notepads. Best name as judged by me and Elisa get an all-day sucker.” Courtney held up a colorful lollipop the size of her face. “Best name as judged by Neil and Bobby gets an all-day sucker too.” She held up a black candy dildo with her other hand.

A to Z Short Story List Breakdown

Rainbow Spectrum (A to F)

I is for Sherbet

April 10, 2019April 24, 2024 Erin Penn 1 Comment

Rating: Mature (Discussion, not action)

Jazz parked in front of her friend’s condo, taking up either Elisa’s or Neil’s parking spot. Her fingers gripped the wheel tight. There had been a couple of close calls turning at lights. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could safely drive. It had been over two hours since she took the pink pill that gave her the mobility in her hands and knees so she could drive, but the loopy effects even after all that time were just enough to slow down her reaction rate and she had made mistakes. She couldn’t do highway driving at all anymore.

She wanted to cry in frustration.

Taking the bus took too much energy but grabbing a cab was beyond her budget. If she gave up her car, she would only be able to leave the house for doctor visits since Human Services provided a specially modified bus for that with door-to-door service.

To be completely home bound! No crying, she chided herself, not with the makeup.

Jazz pried her fingers off the steering wheel and got out of the car. From the back seat, she took out the walker-seat and put the lime green bag and her purse on the seat before pushing her way up the sidewalk. The cane would have worked since she was able to park so close, but Jazz had no idea what she would be like by five. The longest she had been out of the house except for doctor and hospital visits had been shopping for the gift on Tuesday, and that had put her on her back until late Wednesday. A short trip of only two hours inclusive, not four hours plus travel time

Elisa, her belly pressing hard against a tasteful skull and vampire fanged maternity top, answered the door. “Jazz!” The dyed fuchsia redhead pulled the door wide and helped her schoolmate lift the walker over the threshold lip. “I’m so glad you made it.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Jazz hugged her best friend, glad the painkiller allowed her to stand straight and bend into the hug without problems. “Where is everyone?” The jewelry had taken longer than she had anticipated, even with her special tools to close latches so she ran a few minutes late.

“Oh, Courtney is here and working with Neil on putting up the decoration. Everyone else should be here at two. I wanted time with just us. Come, come in.” Elisa closed the heavy wood and glass security door. “Sit with me and help me make fun of them. It’s been boring. They won’t let me do anything!”

“You are due in three weeks.”

Elisa flopped on the couch in a manner indicating she wasn’t getting up again in a long time. “Three eternities. Why did I do this?”

“Because you finally found a good man to go with your good woman and wanted to make some good children.” Jazz maneuvered her walker next to the couch, between the folding chairs moved in front of the television, where she could see Courtney and Neil working in the kitchen and Elisa stuff cushion into the small of her back on the huge ornate sofa. “After some very good sex.”

Elisa turned her head to Jazz, grinning evilly. “It was very, very good sex.”

“Best sex ever!” Courtney yelled from the kitchen. “Can’t wait for my turn!”

“Oh god. What have I gotten into?” Neil asked, placing a punch bowl filled with gingerale and sherbet scoops on the dining room table.

“Where did you find black sherbet and what flavor is it?” Jazz had to ask.

Courtney brought in red plastic cups and black napkins. “Oh, I made it. The flavor is mint and peach. I debated floating lady’s fingers but we did that for the valentine day party.”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen garlands of black skulls and gold baby rattles before.” Jazz looked around the room admiring the eclectic mix of the family’s ongoing vampire and Gothic themes with baby shower ornaments.

“$5 at GothPartyOnline.” Courtney bragged, before heading back to the kitchen, throwing a last bit of pride over her shoulder. “Free shipping with orders over $20.”

“You simply got to see what they have done with the baby’s room. We made an entire episode on it for our vlog interior decorating series.”

Jazz gave a crooked smile. “That is upstairs, right?”

“Okay. So I’ll have one of them go upstairs with a video camera and we can both watch it down here.”

“That could work.”

“Always make them do the work.” Elisa stretched a bit. “I could get used to this.”

“No, you won’t.”

“No, I won’t.” Elisa face looked sad and serious as she rubbed her belly, before sneaking a peek up at Jazz with sparkling brown eyes.

Courtney and Neil found them laughing with tears running down their cheeks when the couple brought the food trays out.

A to Z Short Story List Breakdown

Rainbow Spectrum (A to F)

H is for Horse

April 9, 2019April 24, 2024 Erin Penn

Jazz shoved the wrapping paper off the table and onto the floor to deal with a day she wasn’t conserving every bit of energy she had, then dropped the rattle and oversize plastic key ring into the lime green bag. She had wanted the toy to be properly wrapped, but that wasn’t going to happen. The bag will have to be enough.

Sitting down she reached for the food she set up so she always had at least one meal to eat every day without the effort of cooking. Pulling out a bar and breaking off a juice bottle, she opened both and ate slowly. Chewing was exhausting but necessary. It released tension in her jaw which built up overnight fighting for sleep. After finishing, Jazz took her phone out and put it on the charging bed on the table and started the connections for social media. Waiting for them to come up, she reached for her pill box and stared at it a while before snapping open Saturday.

She transferred the afternoon pills to a small bottle to take with her to the party and put the bottle beside the bag with the present. After that she took out the two horse pills and swallowed them with a gulp of grape juice. Jazz pulled the final pill out of the box for the day. Her pain pill.

Her medical coverage and disability did not cover all her bills and so she skimped on some medication. The depressant prescription to take before bed to help with sleeping cost the most, so she lived without that. Beside the side effect required a stimulant in the morning, and something to control her heart arrhythmia from the stimulant. The one week she took the depressant, she hadn’t made it out of bed until three in the afternoon a single day.

The pain pill in her hand was the secondary pain controller. She took the one which controlled the flares religiously, but this one reduced the pain in the joints. Unfortunately it was new and had no generic equivalent and the company maxed out its charity offerings before it hit the statistic group she fell into. The little pink capsule cost nearly as much per pill as the depressant and, for best effect, she needed to take it every eight hours, three times per day. She could afford once every two days. The question was when would be the best time to take it today.

If she took it now, she could easily drive to the Elisa’s baby shower, but it will wear off before she drove home. If she took it during the baby shower, she’ll be loopy for the first hour around a bunch of strangers and she didn’t want to embarrass her high school buddy like that. On the other hand, she might need it tomorrow to function after pushing herself all day today. In the end, it wasn’t really a question. She needed to be able to drive safely there. Taking it now, waiting the fifteen minutes for the pill and breakfast to stop taking all the blood in her system and start giving her energy, then waiting the additional hour for the loopy to wear off, she would be good to drive the twenty minutes to her friend’s house and get there for the start of the party at one. She stuck it on her tongue and washed the sour tasting pill down.

Looking at her phone, she sighed and then activated the lockout app. The pink pain pill made her drunk text. She put her arms and head on the table and waited for the lockout alarm to go off. Jazz supposed she could attempt her hair, jewelry, and makeup stoned out of her gourd, but she would need to do it all over again afterwards.

The alarm woke her. Cracking her neck, Jazz felt a lingering pain behind the drugged wall, but it didn’t touch her thinking. If she didn’t need the rest of her medications to actually live, she would fill that prescription happily even with the stoner and addictive side effects. Picking up her cane, she walked quickly to the makeup table in her bathroom and set to making everything perfect. Only an hour left before she needed to go out the door.

A to Z Short Story List Breakdown

Rainbow Spectrum (A to F)