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Flash: Used Tissues

Erin Penn

3D Green Tissue Box Stock Art

Image courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

Melissa looked at the pile of tissues. Another headcold, maybe. She bit her lip. Then turned and trod determinably to the living room where her sons were studying.

Grabbing the remote control, she flicked off the Japanese cartoons before announcing, “Family meeting!”

The boys groaned and rolled over, setting aside the books they had been nearly reading. Attentively, well, as attentive as a 12- and 14-year old can be, they looked towards her.

“I’m no longer picking up the tissues beside your bed.”

“Mom!” LeVarr protested.

Alijah, her younger son, grabbed a couch pillow and buried his face.

“Just letting you know how it is. From now on you want things washed, they go into the hamper. You know that green thing in the bathroom you put your muddy cleats on. If they are not in there, they don’t get washed.” Melissa tucked the remote in her back pocket. “You want the trash emptied, you empty it. You want your bedsheets cleaned, you strip the bed. I will teach you how to wash your linens. Your bedrooms are now your own chore.”

LeVarr’s blush had subsided. “Cool!”

Knowing exactly what LeVarr was thinking, Melissa continued. “That does not mean I rescind my right to enter your room whenever I want. You are still my kids, and I will inspect the room. If we have guests over, the room will be clean.”

“Geez, it’s not like they go into there.” Alijah complained.

“Don’t care.” Melissa smiled grimly, while inside she both laughed and shuddered at what she was about to say. The adult in her loved teasing the boys; LeVarr developing understanding of adult humor made his sarcasm as sharp as hers, and he finally was getting to the point of being funny instead of just needing to be smacked. The mother in her wanted to run for the hills at the next bit of truth. “Someday you may have a girl in your bedroom,–”

“Mom!” LeVarr blushed deep enough to show through his dark skin.

“– not under my roof, but someday you may actually move out and get your own place. Before you are forty if I’m lucky. And when you do, you will be grateful for the habit of cleaning up everything before guests come over. Clear?”

“Yes, mom” Alijah’s reply overlapped with the teenage LeVarr’s affirmative, “As mud, my mudder.”

“Right. Finish your homework, and, Alijah, I want to look over that math assignment. LeVarr let me know when you are ready for your research paper so I can boot up the laptop. I’ll be cleaning the dinner dishes.” She paused a moment before adding. “And thanks boys, I love you.”

“Love you too mom.” They responded in unison before reaching for their schoolbooks.

She took the remote into the kitchen and wondered how long it would take them to realize it.

(words 476 – first publication 1/17/2016)

Book Review: Even Villains Fall in Love

Erin Penn

Book Cover for Even Villains Fall in Love

Book cover from Amazon

BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON
Even Villains Fall in Love (Book 1 of the Heroes and Villains Series) by Liana Brooks
A super villain at the top of his game must choose between the world he wants and the woman he loves. 

If you believe the rumors you know that Doctor Charm, the wickedly sexy super villain, retired in shame seven years ago after his last fight with the super hero Zephyr Girl. The fact that the charming Evan Smith-father of four and husband of the too-beautiful-to-be-real Tabitha-bears a resemblance to the defeated Doctor is pure coincidence. And, please, ignore the minions. 

Everything is perfect in the Smith household, until Tabitha announces her return to work as a super hero. Evan was hoping to keep her distracted until after he rigged the 2012 presidential election, but-genius that he is-Evan has a backup plan. 

In his basement lab, Evan has a machine whose sole purpose is keeping Tabitha hungry for him. But children and labs don’t mix. The machine is broken, and Tabitha storms out, claiming she no longer knows him. 

World domination takes a back seat to meeting his daughters’ demands to get Mommy back right now. This time his genius isn’t going to be enough-he’s going to need both his evil alter-ego, and the blooming super abilities of his children to save his wife. But even his most charming self might not be enough to save their marriage.

 

MY REVIEW
Evan Smith was a super-villain with an ethical code (morals are different from ethics) who fell in love with a super-hero. He was *mostly* willing to give up world domination if he could feel like king of the world with his wife Tabitha; he still dabbled a bit to keep food on the table and for the intellectual exercise. But in general he tried to live by the moral code of his woman in order to keep her happy and in his bed.

Then something happens to his wife, leaving him with four active daughters. And both her black-and-white moral code and his grey-scale ethical code get jettisoned by the biological (mate and offspring) imperatives. What will this nearly-reformed super villain do to save his wife?

The book is short as appropriate for the novelette romance genre. The minions could have used more fleshing out; we find out more about his gizmos than his minions.

Linda Brooks never forgets the story is both (1) a romance and (2) a superhero adventure. She mixes the two genres well.

I reread the book with the release of the third book of the series. Still a very good yarn; enjoyed it as much with the second read (2 years later) as I did the first time. 

Editing Rant: Choose a Color

Erin Penn

3 Stages of Editing

Image courtesy of Jody Helund from blog entry: When should writers get critiques

Used with permission

Introduction to Editing Rants and Choosing a Color

I mentioned I do line editing for small presses. I took up this occupation to become a better writer. By reviewing other people’s works, I get a better understanding of what can go wrong where. 

I’ve come to have a whole ‘nother level of respect for editors of all sorts. As a line editor I concentrate on the middle ground. Content editors, macro editors, are the ones who make the book better – get the right number of characters, tell the writer if they need additional plot lines, and help figure out where the story actually starts. Proofreaders, micro editors, get the grammar, punctuation, and spelling. In between is the undefined world of line editing. I fact check and find POV switches within a paragraph. I point out word and phrase choices that may need clarification and find objects appearing in the end of the book but not the beginning. All things that annoy or make the story smoother.

And when going over a manuscript for the second or third time, I sometimes break down and have rants. My online writer’s group has informed me that the information I share (they are so polite – more accurate would be half-insane sleep-deprived gibberish appearing at midnight) has helped them. So I thought I would clean up some of those rants, to protect the guilty, and share them here for your amusement and edification about once a month.

Rant from November 30, 2015

“choose a colour” (editing for British this week) – Bold & underline for emphasis – oh and gray/grey – “a” is American and “e” is England

Its skin had dulled to an unhealthy greyish shade, and a nasty chunk was missing from its arm. The skin hung horribly and held an odd, green tint.

And yes, these two sentences were back to back in the manuscript. I recommended combining into one and choosing a color. During initial phases of writing and later in revision, it is easy to add repetitive phrasing as the author tests things to find the correct one. I’ve had everyone in a romance book have “brilliant blue eyes”, and other times the hero and heroine eye colors switch.

Eye color changing falls under a “continuity error”. If you are a writer, I recommend doing an edit just on person and clothing description. Choose a color and make certain you stick with it – be it eye color or skin color.

So have you ever as a reader or a writer found issues related to color switching? Spill in the comments below!

Flash: Special Night

Erin Penn

Young Man Stock Art

Image courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net

“You are going through with this, aren’t you?” Rober accused Drew.

Drew ran around the kitchen doing last minute preparations; he couldn’t believe Rober had cut his business trip short to revisit the argument he thought settled two months ago. He wouldn’t have started the down this path if he didn’t believe he had Rober’s full support. “It’s the only way with the new laws.”

“Damn politicians need to get out of the bedroom.”

“It’s not the bedroom that is the issue, it’s the nursery.” Drew pulled out the chicken breasts to lay a couple slices of Swiss cheese on them and pour a splash of wine before returning the entrée to the oven. “And society has the responsibility to regulate the care and training of its future members.”

“The only reason to restrict artificial insemination to married couples it to keep gays from making babies.” Rober growled. He bit back several curses about republicans and conservative values, knowing Drew’s adamant support of tradition, even after a decade under the military’s don’t ask-don’t tell. Or was that especially after serving an institution that specialized in hating homosexual and brainwashing its members?

“True. And in a couple years it will tumble because of the discrimination. Already single women everywhere are fighting the law.”

“Then wait … or go to Canada. Or Europe.” Rober begged.

Drew shook his head as he carried the salad to the formally set table. “No, I want our child to be an American.”

“It’s not our child!” Rober grabbed the smaller, but stronger man by the shoulders. “We can’t have children. It will be you and this slut.”

Drew broke away. “Brie is not a slut.”

“Prostitute, then. She will be having sex for money.”

“Because it is the only way!”

“No, it’s not.” Rober countered. “We could adopt.”

“I want at least one my own child, not someone else’s.” Drew said firmly, adding some bread to the oven for final warming. “We can adopt a couple more later, but I want one of mine now.”

“Hypocrite. You talk about overpopulation but are just adding to the problem when thousands of children are looking for dads.”

“And you know how hard it is for a single person to adopt. I’ve been trying ever since I left the Navy. Somehow I never qualify.” Drew’s sarcastic tone admitted he knew why he didn’t qualify even after serving two tours in the Mid-East.

“So you are just going to pay a woman to have sex and carry your kid.” Rober threw up his hands. “That is just sick and obsessive.”

The doorbell rang as they stared daggers at each other.

“Guess that is your whore. Have fun tonight.”

Rober popped the collar of his sweater and stalked out the glass doors leading to their deck and down to the bench. He didn’t look back.

(474 words – originally appearing at Breathless Press 10/21/13 for the 8/5/12 Sunday Fun and published on Erin Penn’s First Base blog on 11/3/2013. Republished under the new format for 1/10/2016.)\