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Writing Exercise: POV

Erin Penn

Ship Wreck Stock Photo

Photo courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

POV Study
WRITING EXERCISE: Write a scene of 100 words or less. Write is again from a different POV – change to first, second, third person, change the third person, change from close third to omniscient. Whatever floats your boat.

*****

Adam in the Boat 1

Spinning between eddies, the boat never gained the shore despite Adam paddling over the side with his one good hand. The fight, then the storm, had left him bruised, battered, and barely capable of movement. Daylight was approaching, bringing promise of more sunburn and dehydration, with a slim chance of discovery on the abandoned winter beach. Adam will die in that boat if nothing changes. (words 65)

*****

Adam in the Boat 2

Grimacing against the pain of broken ribs, Adam rebraced against the side of the shattered boat. He dangled one arm down in the cold sea water, using his last strength to push against the eddy current keeping him achingly close and forever far away from the twilight shadowed beach. If his other arm worked, he would swim for shore, but the grisly compound fracture made his arm only useful as a maggot breeding ground. Two days he had watched the abandoned winter shoreline tease with promise of solid land, skin blistering under the sun, lips bleeding through the salt-crust under moonlight. He had started losing time. Time his enemies were using to get away. He dared not go unconscious again. He would not wake up. (words 125)

*****

My choice change – omniscient to close third

(first published 2/5/2015; republished in new blog format 4/19/2016)

Flash: Crossing Over through the Dog’s Eyes

Erin Penn

Weimaraner Stock Photo

FreeDigitalPhotos.net photo by Gualberto107

Whining confusion, the dog looked up where her head lay in the old man’s lap. She first looked up at her favorite human through one eye then another, then lifted her head to stare across the swollen mud-choked stream where the rest of the pack just crossed with their herds and looked back in question. Her human just raised his hand and patted her matted, wet fur between her ears, settling her jaw onto his leg as she continued to stare at him.

A sneeze took her, finally clearing the mud from her nostrils allowing her to smell the spring flowers surrounding them. The churned soil from the passing of their many beasts and peoples provided a pleasant underscent to the floral smells, nearly overpowering the wet odor of ice snow melt and rain runoff from half-frozen ground carried by the waterway.

She was sick of the water. The sky fell in broken drops nearly every day since the family had started walking from the flat den to the mountain den. Everywhere streams, trickles, rivers, and creeks carved new passages, stealing the joy of running and herding into an arduous task with sucking-slipping paws. She wasn’t sure why her human had decided to leave the others.

He had gone down to the water with everyone else, her pups and their mates and their pups and humans. Even gone into the twisting waters with the others. But the water was deeper than the others they had crossed on the walk since the snows started melting. She barely paddled across and collapsed on the far shore panting. When she realized he hadn’t followed, she had to swim back and nearly didn’t make it. Swimming wasn’t like running; it tired her. Maybe that was it. He was tired and needed to rest before swimming.

Her nose nudged into his palm, and he lifted it to pet her again. Down the neck and across the back, soothing the soreness in her joints and spine. She had lived a long time with this human, and her body creaked nearly as much as his did.

Finally, he said something in that strange soft speech of theirs ending with “Come on.” She started for the creek again before realizing his scent was getting more distant and looked over her shoulder. Blinking once to clear her failing eyesight, she verified he was walking AWAY from the pack scent trail. A whine escaped between her teeth. But he was her human, so she ran to catch up with him.

(words 420 – first published 4/24/2016)

Blog: The Difference POV Can Make

Erin Penn

The inspiration for Crossing Over came from a combination of the painting and a video or news story I once saw. But the flash felt wooden so I tried rewriting it. Tomorrow’s flash is the result of experimenting to get a story to work the way the writer envisioned it.

The flash is to capture an event and a feeling.

First I tried rewriting it by changing the POV from third person to first person. The story still didn’t convey the emotions I felt it should. Finally I found what I believe is the correct POV. Not where I expected it to be at all. Let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading, Erin Penn

Other Cool Blogs: Magical Words April 12, 2016

Erin Penn

Cat reading over shoulder

Image acquired from the Internet Hive mind, via iFunny.com

Today’s visit to MagicalWords reveals another treasure from R.S. Belcher related what happens to your work after the initial writing stage: The League of Extraordinary Beta Readers.

While many people concentrate on professional wordsmiths, like editors and agents, getting your work read by READERS is important too. Mr. Belcher nicely sums up some of the things to look for in a beta reader. Editors find technical goofs, but a beta reader can give feedback like “I just don’t like this guy; don’t know why”. When three beta readers give the same feedback on, for instance, the secondary love interest hero, things may need to be fixed.

Another good post related to Beta Readers in MagicalWords:

AJ Hartley’s “Writing fantasy: Slotted Spoons and the ABCs of Beta readers” (July 9, 2010)

Author Spotlight: Gail Z. Martin

Erin Penn

Book Cover from Amazon

Gail Z. Martin is a prolific writer of multiple genres. Her series include the epic fantasies of The Ascendant Kingdom Saga (with the just released book Shadow and Flame) and The Chronicles of the Necromancer; the urban fantasy of Deadly Curiosities; and steampunk The Jake Desmet Adventures (Iron & Blood) written with her husband Larry N. Martin. Plus she has written several non-fiction books on how to publish, for example 30 Days to Social Media Success (how to use twitter, blog, linkedin etc)

I have the great advantage of living near this author. It is advantage because this wonderful writer is open to teaching and helping others on the publication path. She hosts a monthly meetup in the Charlotte area “The Thrifty Author’s Publishing Success Network” which she and several of her published author friends share their experiences. This is not a writer’s workshop or a critique group, but a once a month meeting on the status of the publishing industry. Topics covered have included how to attend a convention as a panelist, how to leverage social media, what to expect from an editor, and using Kickstarter, Patreon, and other crowdfunding sources. I’ve learned so much from the meetings, plus have met a lot of great authors in the Carolinas.

Ms. Martin regularly attends ConCarolinas, which is where I first found out about her monthly meetup as well as a regular contributor to MagicalWords. I’m just amazed at how open and willing she is to help people who make the effort to learn about the business. Is she going to help critique you work or say you did a good job writing? … no, that is not her thing. What she does do through her non-fiction books is give you the tools to actually publish through an agent or by yourself, develop a marketing plan, and know about the business – taking the mystery out of what do after you finish writing.

As for her own writing, she carefully researches her topics, bringing a level of reality I rarely find in reading. Her style includes several short repeats throughout the books which lend themselves to reading, putting down to due chores and go to work, and picking up again. Since I tend to swallow series whole in a weekend, I find this particular part of her style annoying but I know it is beneficial to many readers.

My personal favorite of her series is the Deadly Curiosities and related e-short stories The Deadly Curiosities Adventure Books. Her research into different types of historical artifacts, whether dead photos or Indian blankets makes the antique shop really come alive.