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Editing Rant: Possession is not Romantic

Image courtesy of Sira Anamwong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

No, no. NO!

Possession is not romantic.

Slavery romance is not a kink I have, and it is one I don’t think is ever healthy for the participants. Avoid it. Period!

In a recent romance, the prince kept saying “mine” – and, f-no, not when the female has been ripped from her home and enslaved. Don’t care if it is insta-love, don’t care is the woman is super-strong-were, don’t care if the prince had his own problems and has my sympathy, don’t care if the prince wants to free her – the possessive term, while sexy when both sides have the option of agreeing to equal possession is NOT okay when one is wearing a slave collar and the other holds the leash (even though he really, really doesn’t want to).

Aside from possession terms, the romance had the perfect use of insta-love, woman is super-strong-were, romantic hero (a prince) has problems which create great sympathy, and a story overall was way too big for the 62 pages it was stuffed into.

But romance is about equals coming together. Both of them bringing something to the plate. I love it when a strong man and strong woman say “mine” to each other. If only one side (usually the male) says “mine”, and the other side doesn’t immediately agree that – yes, I am yours but I also own you in equal measure – then the power dynamic is off.

Watch out for this in your writing. I see it far too often where someone holds leash-level power and stakes a “romantic” claim to someone who isn’t in the position to say no.

That’s slavery. Not a relationship.

In this month of the celebration of love AND black history, learn to tell the difference.

Flash: Rafella de Sable (Part 2)

The history of a noble’s line is as important as the history of the person. With her family line established, next I needed to share with the Dungeon Master the history of the character. How did she become an adventurer and get the skills needed to be a D&D character? (Yes, I think all my characters through this thoroughly. No doubt part of why I am a writer.)

But first a side story from her childhood, which shaped her.

*** Rafella de Sable (Part 2) – A Malicious Servant

This next part of the story Rafaela heard from a vindictive house servant at age six while her hair was being prepared for a local festival celebration.

“Oye, you are just the splitting image of your father, ” said the white haired servant as she put the pins into the girl’s blue-black locks.

Rafaela wrinkled her nose. Her father had brown slightly wavy hair and piercing green eyes, her hair had to be ironed to bring is even close to wavy and her eyes were an unremarkable hazel. The color never pleased her, it was neither brown nor green and could not decide to be either, leaving it looking like the puddle in the street after too long between rains. Being somewhat of a hellion, who never managed to sit still enough to get her hair iron and never left a puddle unjumped in, the six-year old argued, “I do not!”

“What?” the crafty woman muttered and then returned more strongly. “Oops, did I say that out loud?  I shouldn’t have said that out loud. ”

Not realizing that the woman was baiting her, the child wiggled in the seat. “Why not?”

“Because you are not to know who your father is. Oh, no. I shouldn’t have said that. ”

After begging and going back and forth with the bitter old woman, who had recently been cast out of the old Lord’s bed for a new amour, the story unfolded. Andre had all his survival drives killed by the fever, and his wife’s mentality was that of a very young child. Sex was messy and uncomfortable for them. The girl hated it and being pregnant and giving birth and feeding the babies even with someone else taking care of them. Her babydolls were so much more fun. Andre liked his playmate and since she didn’t want to do it anymore, he refused to do it to her. For the first time in his life he stood up to his father, because his friend needed him to. Three children were all there was going to be. All this, the old lady told the child. Rafaela knew her parents were unusual but hearing the old woman refer to them in the terms she used, gave her the first clue of just how off of norm it was.

“But I am the fourth child. ”

“Aye, your grandfather still needed an heir after your da. So he went into the droolgirl’s bedroom and did what he needed to do. Beat her when she tried to run away, held her down, and did it again and again until she got fatter then she normally is. So your granddad is actually your dad and that is who you look like. ”

“He is not, ” said the girl. She knew how her daddy treated her and all the kids and none of it is like how granddad treated her.

“He is too. And he hates you for it, ” assured the old lady. “Because he still needed a boy. So when your mom was ready again, you tore her up something awful when you came out so he had to wait a long time, he did it again and litt’ Andie was born. And he did it again after that since he wanted a spare, only it was too quick and your mom miscarried. I suspect he will start doing her again soon since he wants another son real bad. ”

(Words 576, first written for game 9/23/2005; first published 2/9/2020)

Other Cool Blogs: Magical Words 8/6/2013

Image courtesy of Suriya Kankliang at FreeDigitalPhotos.net – Words added by Erin Penn

It’s tax season so this is going to be short. Here is some good stuff from Magical Words provided by Editor and Writer Lucienne Diver.

“Wherein No One is Safe” – No one should be safe in your story. Sure readers know that the couple in a romance is going to get together … but there should be that part of them that wonders, that believes, maybe … and maybe not.

Again, the link is here: Magical words 8/6/2013.

Book Review: Wicked Satyr Nights

Book Cover from Amazon

Wicked Satyr Nights by Rebekah Lewis

BOOK BLURB ON AMAZON

Some creatures want to be found.

When Dr. Katerina Silverton travels into the Pine Barrens to make a documentary on the Jersey Devil, she doesn’t believe she will uncover any supernatural evidence. In fact, she only takes the job because it promises funding for future projects. So it is quite a shock to Kat when she finds herself face-to-face with the legendary beast she was sent into the forest to capture on film.

In ancient Greece, the god Pan made a terrible mistake which resulted in the creation of the Satyroi: a race of immortal satyrs. Centuries later, he lives secluded in the Pine Barrens, frightening mortals by taking the guise of an abhorrent local monster. When a beautiful woman shows up in his forest looking for proof of his existence, Pan can’t resist revealing himself to her.

Outside forces may be manipulating them both, pushing them together for nefarious reasons. Kat must decide if she could learn to love a satyr or if his appearance is more than she can handle. Can she resist Pan’s wicked nature, or will she give into the temptations beyond her wildest fantasies?

 

MY REVIEW

First off, I did a lot of growing up in New Jersey and camping in the Pine Barrens. I am well familiar with the Jersey Devil story and Ms. Lewis does justice to the folklore.

And combining it with Pan and Satyrs is pure awesome-sauce. Wow, the dovetail of the mythology with the folklore is great. Awesome, awesome worldbuilding.

Story only gets 4.5 stars because of some character inconsistencies early in the book. The longer the story goes, the stronger the characters and the conspiracy gets. In the first couple of chapters, some of the character descriptions are noticeably repeated and should have been removed or reduced by a line editor. (May have been fixed in later editions. The author self-published the book after getting her rights back.)

But as the story goes on, as mentioned, the characters get better. Everyone is far from one-dimensional and has multiple motivations. Kat, the main female protagonist, is awesome, both girly enough to want to shave her legs and butch enough to walk off a cougar taking a chunk out of one. She wants money to do research but realizes earning the money may mean no one will take her research seriously. Pan alternates between making good quick decisions and poor ones; thinking on one’s feet (or hooves) does not make every decision work. Every character has deep flaws worthy of a Greek tragedy waiting to happen, or one that already has. 

No one is truly an angel in the story, nor is the villain a complete devil. Dion faces a situation where his parents and family moved without giving him the forwarding address; his reaction is poor, but a person can understand how screwed up you would be if all your brothers, sisters, and parents just cut you off without explanation.

Don’t know if Ms. Lewis can keep this level of characters and worldbuilding going for the rest of the series, but book one worth the read if you like paranormal romance.

Flash: Porter Weaves

Previous story: Porter Gets Infravision – This is what happened when my Warlock gained her Pact of the Tome.

“We rest.” Filmore declared after the last of the bugbears heartblood finished pumping out onto the barrack floor. The two warrior women slumped, the adrenaline which had kept them moving through battle flushing from their systems leaving only the ache of injury instead of the rush of victory.

Outside the barracks, Porter shook her head, fearful the noise of the short fight carried at sufficient levels beyond the room, though little sound reverberated beyond the stone room to her location in the doorway. She snuck to the other door in the corridor and listened a moment. Less than five minutes had passed since the last time she had listened at the keyhole. The unchanged distinctive sound of dice rolling and drunkenness assured her the noise of the battle had actually been more quiet than the now deceased bugbears usual habits while living.

She sneered. These were the human guards who should have been at the back entrance the hour before sunset. Instead of protecting their compatriots, they were gaming and drinking. In her house, they would have been flogged, received extra chores, then extra training until the butlers decided the idiots were significantly impressed with the level of their stupidness. The Threshold offered mercenaries and warlocks to guard caravans. Whoever was on the other side of this door was beneath her consideration as a fighting equal. She briefly considered opening the door and showing them the error of their ways, but the butlers had cured her early of the stupidity of working solo when a team was available so she padded back to the demihuman barracks and closed the solid wooden door.

Tik nodded at Porter’s entrance from her position on the bed by the front door, continuing to clean the grime from her sword before she sheathed it. The half-orc then put the abused cloth cut from the goblin’s clothing to cleaning the worst of the splatter covering her armor. The half-elf was on the other door bed similarly taking care of her weapons, her armor, then herself in the proper order of those following a warrior path. A little more picky than Tik who crashed out as soon as she finished the basics, Selena wetted the a new cut rag from her water jug and used that for a second level of cleaning grime from herself.

“How long are we resting?” Porter asked in her developing alto voice.

Filmore looked over the group before declaring “An hour.”

Selena nodded, “That would be good.”

A snore issued from Tik, a true solider who could sleep anywhere.

The halfling, sitting on the only bed not splashed with guts and glory during the battle, shrugged. He was worrying the nick his bow received during the fight. From experience Porter knew it wouldn’t be repairable, but it would aggravate the owner until he replaced the bow. Replacing bows is like replacing sword, you never do it without at least a week to train with the new weapon. DeEste didn’t have that type of time at the moment. Instead his finger stroked the area back and forth hoping the injury to the weapon would instantly repaired.

A half-smile twisted on Porter’s mocha face, “Would anyone mind if I use the time to do a ritual for my patron?”

The dwarf grunted. “If you want to talk to your god …”

Porter interrupted. “Not my god, my patron. I don’t need to pray to Tempus right now. This is business, not worship.”

DeEste jerked in surprise. “Oh, well then.” He had thought the group’s wizard had been following a false god, but Tempus, while not the best ideals of war, had many things to recommend him and worked closely with HIS GOD in matters of Just War.

Porter carefully walked through the gore strewn room, getting nothing on her clothes. She had thrown magic through the door and managed to avoid the splatter-fest the hand-to-hand warriors’ wardrobes had suffered. Bending over one of the bugbears solidly hit by her magic, she pulled a thread from the burned area the Eldritch Bolt had hit. Humming she pulled a bone hook from her braids and wrapped the thread end around the hook, then touched the end into a puddle on the floor of the defeated enemy congealing icor. Standing up she walked over to the barrack bed where the halfling sat. The other three beds had been claimed by those who had suffer injuries during the battle.

The halfling scooted over, marveling at the burnt thread being pulled out of the bugbears clothing, connected to the floor puddle where it turned a blue-red-black and thickened as it passed through the icor and continued to the hook the mage was now running around a bracelet she had been wearing and had slipped off over her hand. The bracelet was a simple cooper piece bent in a hundred different hooks and spirals. As the humming grew softer DeEste could nearly make out words and the hook made tiny “tinks” hitting the metal bracelet. Within the bracelet, the beginnings of a cloth formed about the circumference of a halfling hat. The colors constantly changed through all the colors of the rainbow, line after line. The fabric forming below the line of weaving looked like a cross between fabric weaving and knitting.

With everyone resting, the halfling nearly nodded off despite being the guard on duty when the warlock, whose glazed-over eyes were clearly not seeing anything from this world, reach sideways with the hand not holding the hook and pulled another thread from midair. She brought the thread and held it a moment before reaching into her hair and pulling out another hook. Once the amazement of something coming from nowhere passed,  DeEste eyed the braids and decorative bits scattered throughout them speculating what else of value was hidden in Porter’s tresses. He didn’t notice when the bag closed at the bottom.

Close to the end of the hour, Porter snapped the thread with her teeth. The copper bracelet had turned into metal edging absorbed into the flap of the bag’s design with an eye. One of the hooks had been integrated into the front of the bag and the hook closed the bag through the eye.

Looking over at the halfling, clearly having returned to this world, Porter smiled slyly hefting the full bag in one hand. “Shall we see what is inside?” she asked quietly, the rest of the party still resting. Twisting the hook out of the eye, Porter opened the bag and pulled out a book covered in threads which DeEste had never seen before.

The human twisted her left ring finger under one string and her right index finger under another string, back and forth she worked, her tongue slipping out between her lips as she concentrated. Eventually her hands were covered in a Cat’s Cradle and the book opened to a page. Moving her hands in a manner not very much different from spell casting, the strings formed into a Witch’s Broom and the page turned. Page after page passed from one side to another as the string went through dozen of shapes of the children’s game, Soldier’s Bed, Jacob’s Ladder, Winking Eye, Open the Gate… and some he had never seen before even in the games his training had included to prepare his fingers for lock picking. Finally the spellcaster nodded and closed the book, wrapping the dozens of strings back around the book and tucking it back into the newly created rainbow cloth pouch.

“Not a bad selection. I may need to work on it a bit as we continue to adventure.”

Intrigued, the thief raised his voice some to be heard over the stirring of their warrior companions. “So what would happen if someone cut the strings so they could open the book.”

“Oh, my patron just loves providing learning experiences to the stupid and lazy.” Porter’s broad smile included a nose scrunch directed at the halfling.

(Words 1,327; first published 2/2/2020)