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Cheryl hummed happily as she unwrapped a cracker for April. Her baby immediately started working on it with her limited teeth, making a gummy mess.
The weekend had been wonderful, just her and her husband, with the added bonus of the children spending quality time with their uncle. Having breakfast out after picking the kids up was the perfect end to the perfect weekend, giving them time to be a family before jumping back into never-ending chores and work of a two-career household. These were the memories to last a lifetime.
The waitress finished taking Joe’s order and asked “Anything for the child?” she said nodding to Scott sitting neatly in his booster seat.
Cheryl smiled with parental pride at her oldest. “I think he is old enough to order his own breakfast.”
“Okay, little man, what would you like?”
“I want to devour the unborn.” Scott carefully enunciated and spaced words, his volume only slightly less than his normal four-year old tones.
Cheryl looked at the waitress mortified. Her cheeks flushed when she realized most of the diners had heard his request. The nearest two tables stopped eating and turned to stare at her family. No one could have misunderstood what he had said.
When looking for support, she discovered her husband had covered his mouth with his hands. His whole body was shaking and tears were escaping the sides of his eyes. Cheryl shot death towards him, until he calmed enough to remove his hand and translate. With only a slight gasp he said, “Eggs, he want eggs.”
The waitress nodded cautiously before asking the boy, “And how would you like them cooked?”
Proudly Scott said. “Shattered and beaten with the juice flowing forth.”
Joe’s grin widened until he saw his wife’s face. After rearranging his features into a sterner expression, the father relayed, “Scrambled but runny.”
The waitress scratched the order down. With a wince, she asked, “And what would you like to drink, little man?”
Joe’s head tilted as he considered the request. “… aha, Scott, do you mean ‘Udder’?” He clearly pronounced d’s.
Scott nodded several times. “UD-DER madness.”
Turning to the waitress, Joe let her know, “He wants chocolate milk.”
The woman quickly retreated to the kitchen.
Cheryl hissed at Joe, “Your brother is NEVER to babysit again!”
(words 386 – first published 4/10/2013; republished new blog format 7/3/2016)